I guess I should be grateful that I have never experienced such irritation!
I read a book recently called Singled Out. It discussed in great detail the bias you mention. While I didn’t agree with everything the author called prejudices, it was an interesting and at times affirming read. (Even economies of scale are against us!)
I say, stop worring so much about attracting a mate and just go do something that involves other people. Take an art class, join a cycling group, go do a Dungeons and Dragons convention, whatever. Maybe you’ll find someone, maybe not, but at least you did something fun.
I’m an old married lady, so I don’t have much in the way of dating advice, but I do have some general “social skills” advice that might apply for some in this thread.
Smile.
Many people’s faces seem to fall into expressions of discontent or sullenness when they aren’t paying attention. Mine did. I looked cross most of the time.
I started smiling. At first, it was a conscious thing. I’d force myself to smile. I’d smile while on the phone, smile while taking a shower. It wasn’t a giant grin, it was just a conscious effort to make sure my brows weren’t drawn down, my eyes are open wide, my mouth wasn’t turned down, my face was relaxed and friendly.
I smile a lot now. And I find now that I get approached a lot. People chat with me, ask me directions, even ask me for advice in the store. When I approach others, they are way more helpful.
Just sitting at my computer, I can feel the difference in my expression. And, way anecdotal I know, but it seems that my smiles tend to spur me to find things funny that I used to find annoying. It’s as if the smile drives the mood rather than the other way around.
When I look around me, lots of people look really unhappy, and that makes them look a little scary and unapproachable.
You’ll find some, but they’ll all be gay. 
I pit dating, because when it rains, it fucking pours. I’m dating two guys right now, with more interested, and I’m very confused, cause I’ve never been in this situation before! How am I supposed to know which one will really pan out? I’m mostly interested in just having fun right now- I kinda like being single. But what if I pass over “the right guy”? And I’ve got a cute girl interested in me, but I’m just overwhelmed!!
Also, I pit all the stories that I’ve gotten over the past few months:
The guy who I went out with (and slept with) multiple times, who all of a sudden realized he wasn’t into big girls. Like it wasn’t obvious that I wasn’t tiny when we met (or …) .
The guy who went on one date with me and left his phone in my car with a charming text message on it stating that while I was “thick”, I had a good job, and “sometimes money can buy love”. Like he was cute enough for me to be his sugar mama.
The other stories that I can’t even think of right now…
I understand what you’re saying, but I have to disagree with you on a couple of points.
First of all, I was serious about the “just friends” thing with ID Girl. Really. Honest. I know no one believes me, but really. Honest. And yes, in my world friends sometimes go to movies together. Lately, I don’t, as most of my friends simply don’t go to movies. But when I go alone, I often see couples or groups that are very obviously not romancing each other. If I see a bunch of teenage girls at the movies, I don’t assume that their going to go home later and have a wild orgy. I’m going to have to assume they’re friends.
And yes, just friends walk around the pond together. I’ve seen them. It’s a nice way to socialize, be in a nice place, and get a little exercise. Perhaps they are romantically involved, but unless about 80% of the population of this town is gay and/or lesbian, I’m going to have to assume that at least some of those people are just friends.
I just ate a late dinner at a restaurant. Sitting next to me were a man and a woman. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I really couldn’t help it, as they were kind of loud. I gathered that they’d just seen a movie together. And the woman was talking about her boyfriend, and the man was talking about how he almost scored last night. Unless they have a really open relationship, I’m going with friends here, too.
In fact, the reason I had dinner late was because I spent the day in the company of a lovely woman. Did we have hot monkey sex? No. Did I try to schmooze her? No. I think if I had, her husband, who was around part of the time, would have had something to say about it.
I don’t know what kinds of activities you do with your friends, but in my world opposite-sex just friends hang out in each other’s apartments, go to dinner, go to movies, and take walks. To me, that’s normal.
As far as the woman in the office, yeah, my fantasies sort of got the better of me. But it would have been quite inappropriate of me to ask her out right away. It would have been bad form to ask her out during the first week of my employment. And both my girlfriend and her husband would likely have objected. No, I waited until 3 weeks after my breakup, about a year after her divorce. That seems like perfectly appropriate timing to me.
Even after that, it was her idea to be platonic friends (which never materialized, and may never). Among the activities we discussed doing were going out for a drink, a concert, a different concert, a museum tour, and yes, a walk. The walk was her idea.
Sometimes you just have to enjoy it while it lasts. If you can juggle everyone, more power to you.
Now watch everyone else come yell at you. 
Not me. For me it was more a case of “it never rains, but it sometimes moistens up enough to keep the cochineal farm from dying off” 
but I’m not so mean-spirited as to wish ill on those with better luck.
bites thumb in general direction of someone, they know who they are
Well, this thread brought me right down. For the record:
Being yourself doesn’t help. I’ve been myself for quite some time now.
Self-confidence doesn’t help. I truly and honestly to the depth and core of my being think I’m freaking gorgeous and an amazing catch. I’d totally screw my own clone. No, I don’t go around saying it either. I’m just quietly mystified that I’m not crawling in dates.
On the plus side, though, I am doing extremely well in the “creepy French men 15+ years older than I” demographic.
So we are pitting dating now? :dubious: Why? Dating is fun. I think you really wish to pit the fact that you keep getting turned down. So you aren’t actually dating.
I was recently dumped after close to 4 months, and with no warning signs at all. Just a phone call as I was getting ready to meet him to the effect of: I want more, but I don’t know what “more” is, sorry, but it’s me not you. I was stunned. I was hurt. I really liked the guy, but there isn’t anything I can do about it. When I’m ready to get back on the horse again, I will. It wasn’t Dating’s fault. Sometimes you get good dates and sometimes you get bad dates. The bad ones you can laugh at later with your friends.
I’m almost ready to try again. Being a chunky 35 year old doesn’t make it any easier, but I know there are men out there who will like me and eventually love me, despite my shortcomings. Someone should start a thread for the single Dopers to network.
Anyway, that’s my $0.02 worth.
Every time someone tries, it gets shut down as a flirt thread. Alas.
Hell, with the number of single people over 25 on these boards who are apparently undatable by the general population, we should have a whole forum dedicated to it. SDMB Singles or something. You know, there’s a real shortage of dating sites out there catering to “35 year old chunky” women who like hockey, or 30 year old guys who love anime and still live in Mom’s basement, or any of the other primary SDMB demographics.
Hey, I’d post there. 
Yes, and with the number of couples who met on this very forum, you’d think TPTB would see the use for it.
Are you addressing the OP? I thought I made it clear there that I was making a judgment of the whole dating process “from the outside,” i.e., as one who never dated himself. It wasn’t that I ever got turned down either–I just never even tried to date. (With the single exception, long long ago, that I told about in a subsequent thread.)
I just think the whole “dating” concept is dumb. Subsequent posts by others in this thread have done a fair job of explaining why someone might think this, so I don’t feel obligated to explain my reasons any further.
-FrL-
There is only one answer to this problem: DopeFest!
Are you hosting, mister? Og knows I’d love an excuse to go to Toronto again.
Ah, well, I anxiously await a Dopefest near me.
We’re having 2.5 get-togethers this month, starting tomorrow! What more do you want?
It’d be durn easy to set up a board for this, though, and link to it in my sig. If I get three PMs asking me to do it, I’ll happily oblige.
Am I the only one hanging out for a spin-off thread here?