Men in prisons are raped constantly, viciously ganged raped. The institutions, guards, politicians on the outside do nothing about it.
I’m a man. In my early twenties I worked as a bartender I stood 5’10", 140 lbs. at the time I had one customer come in, a man well over 6’ at least 200lbs. He came in ordered a salad and a beer, I thought he was a little off because he kept his sunglasses on. He was my only customer at the bar at the time. Once he was finsihed he ordered another salad, sunglasses still on. The he told me “You know you’re fucking gorgeous” He takes off his sunglasses and he’s wearing eyeliner and adds. “I’d love to have my way with you”.
My back was turned to him at the time, but I was looking at him through the mirror when he said this. I turned around and told him to finish his salad and drink, keep his mouth shut and then leave. “I’d love to fuck you” he said
I went to get management. By the time I got back with back up he was gone. But he had taken his beer and smashed it into his salad breaking the plate. I was upset, my coworkers male and female thought it was funny, ya funny.
Just thought I’d share that to dispell the notion that only women have fears about being sexually assaulted and that it’s only women that receive lewd remarks . It upset me for a couple of hours, but got over it. I suggest you do as well. You’re chances of getting assaulted by this perv, is pretty low. You’re chance of getting in a car accident is probably higher.
I’m not trying to diminish your experience at all- after all, your encounter was with a total douchebag creeper, no doubt. But I want you to stop for a moment and consider something: what if things like what that guy did happened to you once a month from the age of 12 years old on? Every few times, the guy actually reaches across and fondles you. And a handful of times in there, the guy leaves, but waits for you in the parking lot and follows you home. Let’s also assume it’s not the same guy every time, but a new and exciting creeper you get to deal with.
If I had only been aggressively hit on once, I also would just shrug my shoulders and say I need to get over it- after all, that whole situation is an anomaly in my life. But that’s not the case for me or many other women- this is something we live with every single day from puberty until society deems us too shriveled and old to try to bang. I am a perfectly normal woman who has been fondled or groped by strangers many, many times in my life. I’ve had more than my fair share of strange men tell me how bad they want to fuck me. I’ve had men follow me around the grocery store and to my car. I’ve called the police to come protect me more times than anyone should need to.
Your prison example I don’t disagree with, except to say that obviously what occurs in prison is different than the experiences of the vast majority of American people on the day to day.
And having her think you’re seeking to look up her skirt while you pick up the coins is BETTER?
Note: the above was a joke. I realize that in a change-processing transaction there will typically be a counter between the vendor and the buyer that makes such considerations impractical.
I don’t disagree that it happens to women much more than men. Did these assualts that happend to you occur in the U.S. ? I’m not trying to find an excuse or anything for the assaults, but I know in certain countries in Europe, ass grabbing is pretty common.
I don’t know what these men are thinking , do they think by scaring a woman, assaulting her it’s going to turn them on ? They’re idiots. Kick them in the nuts .
I was never, not once, sexually harassed as a young woman living in four different cities in Australia. I backpacked around Europe alone for seven months, and was treated respectfully throughout. Upon moving to California three years ago, I have been harassed half a dozen times, including three men who grabbed me and spat in my face.
Weirdly, there are four incidents in my life that I consider sexual harassment/assault, two of which would land the assaulter in jail (the one I described earlier was not, of course). One of the less-serious, and one of the more-serious, occurred in Europe, a continent on which I’ve spent less than two months total.
I live in America, in the same county as Broomstick, and while I’ve had to deal with some creepy guys, I’ve never, ever been groped or crudely propositioned by a man. If I was, I’d break their fucking hand and call the police.
I’m slim, average-ly attractive, etc. It’s rather bizarre to me to see the reports here, and it seems bizarre to freak out for days over this incident.
I honestly don’t know what to make of claims like this, or Diosa’s apparent inability to walk from her front door to her mailbox without being group-groped. Three different men spat in your face, on three separate occasions? Or was it a bunch of gangbangers who traffic in expectorants? You do realize it’s not normal for someone to spit in your face, right?
Imagine if there were a community in which it weren’t an inevitable trainwreck if a woman complained about being subjected to unwanted and inappropriate sexual aggression.
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
The incessant strawman/well-poisoning arguments that surface whenever this topic comes up are really tiresome, and run counter to your desire to be taken seriously.
[/QUOTE]
Psst, dude: It’s not actually well-poisoning when it’s a response to the actual things people are actually saying. JSYK
[QUOTE=CarnalK]
Men are actually more likely to be physically attacked, also.
[/QUOTE]
I wonder if this is actually true. I guess I’m not super familiar with the statistics. Odds are between 1/6 and 1/5 of women will be raped over the course of their lifetime; are the odds that high of a man being victim of a violent crime? I kind of doubt that but I guess don’t know; I know several women who have been the victim of rape and several more who were the victim of attempted rape; I can’t think of any guy I know who was the victim of a violent crime.
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
I honestly don’t know what to make of claims like this, or Diosa’s apparent inability to walk from her front door to her mailbox without being group-groped. Three different men spat in your face, on three separate occasions? Or was it a bunch of gangbangers who traffic in expectorants? You do realize it’s not normal for someone to spit in your face, right?
[/QUOTE]
It’s always helpful to have a man’s level-headed evaluation of the situation, to make clear the difference between these crazy women’s reports of the situation and what must have actually happened. I hope you’ll continue to translate between the estrogen-influenced rantings of these ladies so that the rest of us can understand what actually happened.
You do realize that last sentence is condescending as hell, right? I had no problem interpreting that post as meaning araminty was grabbed by three men *in one incident *and one or more of those men spat in her face during that incident.
Maybe not, in some of the cases in this thread. But you implied that I was calling Broomstick a liar. Not so. I figure she probably was harassed-- it’s not like she’s claiming that she was sexually harassed by Julius Caesar while walking on Jupiter. I also think she’s been acting like a condescending idiot.
I’m not sure what exactly I’ve said about you (I don’t remember names particularly well). Nothing Broomstick has said makes me think she’s an idiot, though – in fact, quite to the contrary. And if she’s condescending, well, given the sort of people she’s in a position to condescend to, judging by this thread, well, I would have to say she’s in the right.
I have always known that a great many men in this world think women are very much less as humans than males, but to see it here, over and over, from posters I thought were normal is very disappointing. I guess women should just shoot first and ask questions later, since it doesn’t even matter if she is young, good looking or well built. I am none of those and I still have to put up with this bullshit.
Most of the creepering that’s happened to me has happened in the US. I lived in Spain for a couple of years, and I had some creeps come onto me in that country, too (this was mostly in and around Torrejon, a town close to Madrid). In Spain, most of the creeps figured that I was American because I used to go around carrying a knapsack with a US flag embroidered on it, and they had the idea that all American women were sluts who would get it on with ANYONE.
Anyway. Suggestive talk and even ass grabbing is pretty common in the US, too, though the time and place will vary the results. I’ve seen websites dedicated to posting pics of guys exposing themselves on public trains, buses, and subways, and also pics of guys who grope women on the same public transportation. In some cases, a guy is recognized and even gets charged. The problem is, most of these guys go for plausible deniability…they’ll “accidentally” brush a woman’s butt or tit, and if they’re called on it, well, the place was crowded. Or the bus or train is so crowded that a woman can’t tell just WHICH guy grabbed her butt.
When women (and men) are targets of unwanted sexual attention, we don’t know if the offender is going to just make a few unwanted comments and leave if rebuffed, or if refusal is going to get the offender to ramp up his (or her) actions. And this is why the OP was bothered. If she KNEW that the guy would go if she told him to leave, then I imagine that she wouldn’t have been nearly as scared and disgusted. But her experience has taught her that while some guys will go, others will get even more aggressive if refused. See, it’s one thing for someone to flirt with a clerk, and ask to give a phone number. It’s quite another thing for someone to CONTINUE the attention, INSIST on leaving the number even after the clerk has made it clear that she (he) isn’t interested in a sexual relationship. And having the guy come back the next day and bitch that the OP didn’t call him moved him out of creeper territory and straight into the “this guy has entitlement issues and does not recognize her boundaries” category. This guy refused to acknowledge her “no”, not just once, but several times.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Being creepy isn’t about looks, but about actions. This guy was creepy when he said that he didn’t mind that the OP was married. And then he went on from there.
And had the OP actually kicked him in the nuts, or otherwise physically assaulted him, then she’d probably be in jail or bonded out right now. Because no matter what he said to her, as long as he didn’t actually touch her, she isn’t legally allowed to use physical force on him.
Don’t waste any sympathy on me since apparently you are the one in serious need of it. Any man who assumes that a woman is lying about having been harassed is dirt.
I’d say any man thinking the women describing the situations in this thread (none of which appear to seem too outlandish to many of the women posting here) is lying, is just naive as hell and at worst ignorant. I wish I could live the life of the person who has so little experience with these situations that they’d seem made up to me. Unfortunately, this is my reality and the reality of many other women.
But really, shit like this?
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
I honestly don’t know what to make of claims like this, or Diosa’s apparent inability to walk from her front door to her mailbox without being group-groped.
[/QUOTE]
It takes a special kind of scumbag to make light of a 15 year old girl getting pushed down to the sidewalk by some skeever, felt up, and kissed. Or fuck, to make light of any of the harassment presented by folks in this thread. See, this is a perfect example of what many of us are talking about here: when you do say something about something awful happening, morons will line up to tell you that you’re a liar. (THAT is exactly why after I struggled away and ran home as fast as I could that night, I didn’t tell anybody-- I believed that somehow it was my fault and no one would believe me.) But hey, I’m sure all us dumb broads are just man hating feminazis who sit around and make up stories to try to bring down the poor men around us. Sad lives we lead, I know.
For clarity, so us women don’t go around wantonly accusing you gentlemen of bad behavior when you were just “accidentally” brushing your erect dick on me while passing at the bar to order a beer (and making full, non blinking eye contact with me throughout), let me quote myself from two pages ago, since this item went entirely unaddressed:
That doesn’t work. They’re in your face… well, no, more like their chest is in your face… you can’t get out, you can’t call for help, your brain is into fight-or-flight mode but there’s nowhere to flee plus he’s bigger than you and faster than you and you can’t flee and you can’t fight, so you try to talk your way out - because it is the only option you’ve got.
