Yep, I’ve had several friends and coworkers who were visibly disabled in some way, and I’ve personally heard people say stuff exactly like this to and about them and their partners. Sadly, I find Broomstick’s post totally unremarkable.
Alright, consider me schooled on the ways of the world then. I guess I haven’t spent enough time time in NW Indiana and/or Wal-Mart.
You do seem like a pretty classy guy.
I don’t know if this is a credibility issue, or more an issue of poor communication coupled with an astonishing inability to acknowledge fault.
But several years ago, Broomstick made this claim:
Now, there are a couple ways to read that – a literal claim that there have been zero want ads in the paper for weeks, or a more hyperbolic claim – there are no jobs for which she is suited, or something along those lines.
Another poster in Broomtick’s local area comes along to post links to the online want ads, says the actual paper does have want ads, and so it’s at this point yoiu might expect her to clarify that “NO, repeat NO” want ads was not actually a literal claim.
And in response to another poster’s request for clarification:
Again, a perfect time to back off and say, “Look, obviously there are some jobs listed, but they are unsuitable.”
But instead Broomstick chose to continue to defend her claim, and lashed out at the questioning of her:
Which, of course, was a nice attempt to deflect the specific inquiry about the literal number of ads in the paper onto a more general topic of sympathy for the poor.
I questioned the literal claim, and said it might have been one day, but not weeks. No, she insisted, it had been weeks with no want ads:
The thread degenerated from there, with me continuing to point out that it was fine to have made a hyperbolic statement, but don’t defend it as literal… and if you are defending it as literal, it’s a lie.
In looking back on it, I don’t think the issue was dishonesty. I think it was poor communication skills. A simple rolleyes at the beginning, with a “Yes, genius, you got me. There want ads for electricians and diesel mechanics. Thanks for the catch,” would have defused it.
And of course being me, I couldn’t let it go without an acknowledgement of the misstatement, which was perhaps not my finest hour.
But for whatever it’s worth, this example answers your literal question.
So we’re clear: you think women should treat all men as potential rapists?
[QUOTE=Bob Ducca]
Alright, consider me schooled on the ways of the world then. I guess I haven’t spent enough time time in NW Indiana and/or Wal-Mart.
[/QUOTE]
Perhaps the problem is just that you’re a complete fucking imbecile. Especially if you think you have to go to Indiana or Wal-Mart to get treated that way.
I’m not the person this was directed at, but I’m sure nobody thinks you’re a rapist, so don’t worry, your White Knighting here might still pay off for ya.
Oh, is that how you read my post? I could see why you might. I was just lamenting the lack of time I’ve spent in either of those places. I hear both are lovely in the Fall.
If I just wanted to hang out w/ low-class pieces of shit, I’d spend more time reading your posts.
Could you give me a for-instance from this thread of where this sort of thing happens all the time? (And I’m talking about his second visit, btw; I agree that just the sort of thing that happened in the first encounter is unfortunately all too routine.) That’s the part that was creepy and threatening. And while women may experience encounters like that more frequently than they would like (frequency that they’d like such encounters to happen: zero per lifetime would probably be about right), I doubt that there’s really any getting used to it.
Yeah, odds are that particular guy isn’t going to stalk the OP. The problem is, you don’t know which creepy guy will be the true threat. Which means a woman has to be on her guard about all the creeps. Which has to just plain suck.
Yes, I have no problem with “on guard.”
I, personally, thought that “three showers and I don’t feel clean,” was, however, a overreaction. But that’s just my personal reaction; there’s no rule that my personal standard is somehow the correct one for the world.
When I pointed out in the thread that not all pervs are potential rapists it was pointed out to me that no woman knows that. So they treat all pervs as potential rapists. The theme of this thread is that unwanted advances, creepy behaviour and fear of rape is a very serious problem in womens lives and is of concern to them. With all that said in the case of Mr Nice Guy rapists, the only logically conclusion based on this line of thinking, because Mr. Nice Guy Rapists do exist so these women must treat all men as potential rapists based on their logic not mine. But they don’t have the nerve to say it.
Fortunately I know not all women live their lives this way, and these women are in the minority.
Maybe Broomstick tends to exaggerate, and she has a persecution complex, but her issue in this pitting hits a nerve with people who have been faced with similar and worse situations.
Sometimes just looking at, or being nice to the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, can bring on a whole set of unexpected difficulties and consequences.
I grew up in a big city, and was taught at an early age to avoid eye contact, not to smile at strangers, and to be prepared for trouble.
When I moved to a small town, I was shocked at the lack of self protection that the people appeared to have, but was the norm in that setting.
In the OP’s case, maybe the guy didn’t believe he was doing anything wrong, and assumed broomstick should have taken his attentions as a compliment, but that still wouldn’t make her feelings or claims any less valid.
She perceived herself to be in danger, felt threatened, intimidated, harassed, and I believe her.
Note first: I am a woman, middle aged, and have not been the target of the sort of attacks or creepiness in this thread often enough that I can even recall an instance. I have never worked in retail.
Given that the sort of assaults described by, for example, Diosa happen horribly often, and that the sort of creepiness experienced by Broomstick in the original post also happen horribly often, I still fail to see any evidence that there’s a direct causal or correlative connection.
Diosa’s stories tell of attacks that were not preceded by creepiness. Broomstick’s story tells of creepiness that was not followed by an attack. Why then is there so much emphasis on Broomstick being reasonably afraid of attack because of the creepiness?
We should focus on condemning the creepiness intrinsically. Being emotionally abusive to strangers in their place of employment is bad all by itself, not because it might signal an intent to commit a crime on that person (which I don’t see any evidence of here anyway) but because it is inappropriate and ill mannered and ugly behavior in itself.
I am not implying that this kind of creepy emotional bullying is a behavior that is equal to assault or rape. I do not think that is the bar to set though (“he’s ok, he didn’t commit assault or rape” is not much of a compliment). If I had to equate it to something, I would say it’s equal to cheating on a committed relationship.
Note final: I have been personally acquainted with at least five molesters/rapists and only found out when they went to trial or I read about it in the newspaper. Only one of the four set off my instictive reaction (my brother in law did, my teacher/my psychologist/my co-worker/my son’s coach did not). The few (around ten total) other people who set off that instinctive reaction have never demonstrated that sort of behavior that I know of (or any other illegal behavior - just creepiness). I do not think that trusting my creepiness feeling adds to safety. If anything it gives a false sense of security. Finally, telling someone they should have known when they are a victim of attack is cruel and inappropriate. Telling people how to avoid becoming a victim, can be appropriate, only when there is objective evidence that the steps suggested actually work. Otherwise you’re just laying groundwork for blaming them if they become a victim.
Then why did you answer it? Especially as you clearly didn’t get the point. You’re obviously kind of a dimwit.
LOL. You obviously love trying to bully people on the internet.
I disagree. It’s sexual harassment by a customer and it’s illegal, at least where I live (and if I’m reading this site correctly). I find it unsurprising that security took it seriously in Broomstick’s case and expect that police would have as well.
Clearly he is a rapist.
Let me know if you achieve your goal to become the most annoying newbie of 2012. That living_in_hell is tough competition.
I raped a lot of people today, men AND women. The Handshake Convention is in town.
Boy, you really picked the needle from the haystack, didn’t you?
What upset me about your post back on the first page was:
Who cares about the goddamn showers?
The point is, this was fearsome and threatening conduct. This guy showed up the second time apparently for the primary purpose of demanding why she hadn’t called him yet.
Maybe this guy will forget all about her after this incident. But maybe not. If I were a woman in Broomstick’s situation, I’d be looking into what it takes to get a restraining order, and investing in a handgun and a concealed carry permit.
I’ve got no dog in this fight, but I do understand why some people might find someone incredulous if that particular someone told stories about how they ninja kicked someone in the thigh and it broke that person’s femur.
I was actually curious how possible this was, so I did a bit of googling. Several examples of people breaking their own legs (but not the femur) from throwing kicks. An example of a football kicker who managed to break his own femur from kicking the ground by mistake. My own cousin broke her femur from landing oddly during a triple jump. I also found a man who’s femur was broken by a kick, but he was kicked by a horse.
I did manage to find a video of a man who’s femur suffered a hairline fracture from receiving a kick to the leg. The man doing the kicking was Forrest Griffin, the former UFC light heavyweight champion. A professional athlete who is at the top of his game and weighs 205 lbs. The man he kicked was a reporter, not an athlete. Here’s the video, it’s not graphic or anything.
I think you’ve undermined your own argument here. Of the ~10 men who’ve set off your creepiness radar, one has turned out to be a rapist or molester. Of the many hundreds of men you’ve known who haven’t set off your creepiness radar, four have turned out to be rapists or molesters.
P(proven rapist or molester|creepiness radar set off) = ~1/10.
P(proven rapist or molester|creepiness radar not set off) = ~1/100.
I’d keep trusting that radar.
Now, I’m sure we can all get together and work this out. mister nyx, do you like pinball?