Considering that the business she staffs on a daily basis is successful enough that the owner actually has at least two other stores open in other locations, I’m prepared to speculate that several dozen “someones” “talk” to her every day.
I’m prepared to accept that she correctly interpreted this particular “someone” as being the wrong kind.
Broomstick, I’m sorry to hear of what you had to go through. I hope you and your boss are able to come up with a way to keep this creep away from the kiosk in the future.
On a slight tangent, you mention back on page two of this thread that you had asked for the thread to be closed. If you’re referring to your comment in post 8, I’d like to respectfully point out that “maybe I’ll ask a mod to close the thread” doesn’t really count as a request to close. If you haven’t already done so, I’d suggest hitting “report” on that post, and making the request explicit. If you ask them to email you about any decisions to not comply, it’s my experience that someone will respond.
If people get on you for changing your story it’s not because the woman is always wrong. It’s because the second scenario has different details and different language and is a whole lot more explicit than the first scenario. That’s not blaming; it’s fact.
Right, so I must just be some super hot babe who is an easy target to have had the many experiences in my life of being physically assaulted by men, right? Thank goodness, I had no idea I was such a hot package.
Like when I was a teenager and went jogging around my neighborhood each evening (before dark). At the same point in the “course,” a neighbor would stand out in his garage and wave hello innocently. Until the last time I have *ever *went jogging alone— when he and two of his buddies pushed me down onto the ground, got on top of me, and started sticking their tongues down my throat and groping my breasts.
You know what the sickest part of that is? I thought I deserved it and didn’t tell anyone. I had been conditioned to believe that if something like that happened to a woman, she deserved it-- maybe my shorts were too short or my boobs were too bouncy, but I genuinely thought that it was all my fault.
Oh, or like the time I was in my office a few months ago and a lawyer on the floor who I had talked to a few times and was totally professionally friendly with, cornered me (literally), pressed himself against me, and hissed in my ear that he’d fuck the shit out of me because he saw how I was flirting with him. Twenty six year old me-- unlike 16 year old me- wasn’t scared or guilty, I was pissed. I kneed him in the dick and he hasn’t talked to me since.
The point of all of this is that we women have to gauge that fine line between socially awkward and threat. It’s a VERY hard to distinguish line. Did I think the nice neighbor smiling and waving as I jogged by would try to rape me? Of course not. Did I think the lawyer I make small talk about the weather would rub his dick against me? Absolutely not. Are most of the men I talk to creepers like the above idiots? Not at all. But I will never fault a woman for being shaken up by being harassed or followed or pressured-- because while that individual incident may not end up so bad, she may have had something far worse happen to her in the past.
And hell, this doesn’t take into account all the times I’ve had men try to stick their hands down my shirt or up my skirt in various situations (while the majority have been at night clubs, I’ve had it happen at the mall and other equally innocent places, too).
Pious and boring as it is, I’m sick of the SDMB creep apologist squad. There have been multiple threads where a woman has recounted a situation where she feels sexually uncomfortable or threatened, and there is always a chorus of people trying to turn that problem on her- either she didn’t react right (the toned down version of “If you were raped, why didn’t you fight harder?”), or that she is overreacting (“You had to shower three times???”) or that she must have somehow invited it or at least had some way to prevent it (“Why didn’t you get your manager?”)
I remember the last clusterfuck, where boatloads of guys came on to say that women never have a “spidey-sense” and shouldn’t rely on it, and “creeps” are probably just nice sweet guys with good intentions. I’m waiting for the old chestnut about how “creeps are just guys who hit on you that you are not attracted to”, and about how it is just sooooooo unfair that women enjoy advances from men they find attractive and are repulsed by advances from men they find repulsive. The solution, of course, is that women shouldn’t be sexually uncomfortable because they probably just don’t understand that the guy is a sweet guy who happens to be socially awkward, and it’s probably your fault for being shallow. Unless, of course, you end up attacked. Then it’s your fault for letting it get so far.
Sorry, we are the only ones who get to decide what sexual advances we enjoy or dislike, and we are the only ones who get to decide what we feel about any given unwanted advance.
I can’t speak for other people but if a guy did that to me, I wouldn’t think anything of it. Weird, but totally innocent. I’d probably say something like “that’s a weird handshake you have there” but that’s all
Listen close you tard. No-one, NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON in this thread, has “apologized” for this creep. Ever heard the expression “When you’ve got a hammer, everything looks like a nail”? How about “When you’re a moron with a persecution complex, all posts look like they’re against you”?
Arguing with the voices in your head may be good therapy for you but it’s not all that interesting to read about.
Grammar Nazi nitpick: Actually, nobody in this thread has been an apologist for this creep (i.e., someone who attempts to defend or excuse his behavior).
However, some posters have in fact sort of apologized for him and his indefensible assholery (e.g., mhendo, Bob Ducca and Inigo Montoya back on page 1).
Two closely related words that don’t mean quite the same thing. [/GNN]
Try it out! I’m serious. Shake a stranger’s hand, and while you do, curl your middle finger inward, so that you can use it to caress the stranger’s palm. For maximum giggles, do it to some guy who’s a lot bigger than you.
Yeah, and I mean, if the other guy gets offended and punches you in the face, he’s just being uptight and needs to realize that you were just being friendly and innocent. Feel free to call him an uppity bitch after he hits you.
oh, for god’s sake, even sven. no one in this thread is claiming that rape and stalking and murder never happen and woman have no reason to be on their guard. that’s ridiculous. i think what some are suggesting, and i agree with them, is that Broomstick seems a little, how shall i say… eager to paint herself as a victim here.
now, before some of you jump my shit, hear me out. i do not think that the OP did anything wrong, and the man in question was in the wrong for pushing her after she made it clear she wasn’t interested. you’ll hear no argument from me on that. but to automatically paint him as a potential rapist over the scenario shared with us is a little over the top, and showering three times as a result of it seems a bit hysterical.
i say this both as a woman and as someone who was stalked by a co-worker at the age of 17. this guy would read my schedule and then park across the street from the store we both worked in and wait for me to leave. i would get rides home from my friends, and he would follow us and turn off right before we got to my house. i also developed early, so i’ve dealt with the unwanted leering and sexual advances from a fairly young age as well. the point is, i’ve been there and i get it. there are bad people out there, and it’s only sensible for women to be on their guard, but i really grow weary of the attitude that all women are potential victims and all men are potential rapists who just don’t understand our pain. to an extent, that’s fair, because there are absolutely things about being a woman that a man will never fully understand, but men are victimized every day too. we as women don’t have the monopoly on that.