I pit these new fresh-scent-whatever-it-is cleaning products

I want my old smells back, damnit!

It’s like everything smells vaguely of Febreze, about the most worthless product I’ve used.

I went to the store the other day to get refills for my Swifer wet mop. It used to smell like citris. I like citrus. Citrus I can handle. It’s a simple smell. Lemon, basically. Now all I can get is “mountain fresh” or some shit. What the fuck is “mountain fresh” anyway? Ever smell a fresh mountain?

What’s with these other scents these days? Everything is mountain fresh, spring fresh, sea breeze, floral-fruit-spring-mountain-herbal-sea-fuck-me-hard-in-the-ass-breeze.

You know what I want my kitchen sick & bathroom to smell like? Comet. Now that’s a nice clean smell. Hell, I’d wear Comet colonge if they made it.

Know what I want my kitchen floor to smell like? Pine-Sol. That shit smells toxic. It says, "I just cleaned the shit out of my kitchen floor and now the whole neighborhood knows it, and everyone entering my house for the next few days is gonna know it. Do I want my kitchen floor to smell “mountain fresh?” Hells no! Whatcha wanna do, cuddle up on my kitchen floor? Lick it? No! My floor is clean. It’s also toxic, 'cause I just cleaned the shit out of it with Pine-Sol.

Know what I want my laundry to smell like? Tide. I don’t want my clothes to smell floral, or spring fresh, or desert breeze. I wanna smell like fucking Tide. That says, “this dude washed his clothes.” Fuck you Tide, for making anything that smells spring fresh.

What is spring fresh? I grew up in the midwest where we spend six months buried in freezing snow. Spring means all those dead plants from last year are rotting. It’s a great smell. But not what I want my house smelling like.

What is sea-breeze? I live by the ocean. Rotting kelp. dead fish, salt & flies buzzing everywhere? That’s what you want me to smell like?

What is sport? You go to the store & try to get a man’s soap that doesn’t smell all womanly and you get sport. You know what I smell like after I"ve done sports? You don’t want to smell like that. Of course sport soap doesn’t smell like that. I don’t know what the hell it smells like, but it ain’t sport or anything I want to smell like. What, I’m supposed to smell like a volleyball?

I want everything to smell like Citrus, Comet, Pine-Sol, or Tide. When I get out of the shower, I just don’t want to smell like funk anymore. OK? Who’s with me?

Mmm, Pine-Sol. If they made a soda that tasted like Pine-Sol smells, I’d buy it.

Next time you’re in Korea, pick yourself up some of this. According to one brave soul:

Doesn’t sound as bad as I thought it might.

Aristocrat gin is probably about as close as you can get over here.

But. . . I love Fabreeze. I have a bottle of Fabreeze sitting next to me and I’m washing my clothes with “Tide with Fabreeze” and “Downy with Fabreeze”. :frowning:

Actually, pine needles make a really tasty “tea”. Just get a handful of new growth needles and immerse in boiling water for a few minutes. Really yummy!

I’d kill to find a polish that’s “unscented”. Every furniture polish I see is either lemon or some kind of mountain berry fresh breeze ocean scent. Gives me a fucking headache.

:: quietly hides bottle of lavender-scented laundry detergent ::

I’m with you on the kitchen and bathroom cleaners, though. I use one of those all-purpose cleaners with bleach. The floral stuff doesn’t do a damn thing.

I pretty much agree.

When I wash my clothes, I want that clean Tide and regular scent dryer sheet smell. Other smells is what perfume is for.

If I want my place to smell like something other than standard “clean” smell, I’ll burn a candle.

Well you Sugar, can use all the Fabreeze you want. :wink:

Hear, Hear! I’ve had quite enough of the cutesy named scents that don’t mean a fucking thing. What the hell is Tsunami or Volcano supposed to smell like? Let’s have fragrances that are a little more descriptive. I’d bet that a cologne called “I just wanna get laid” would sell fairly well. And a perfume called “I want to smell nice, but you’re not getting any” could have saved me a lot of time and $5 frou-frou drinks in my single days.
And while we’re on the subject, why do men’s colognes smell like a cross between a cheap hooker and a bottle of rubbing alchohol? How about some actual manly scents like “Woodsmoke” (in mesquite, hickory and piñon varieties), or “Just Mown Hay” or “Fresh Cut Cedar”?

Demeter sells perfume and cologne in basically any fragrance that you’ve ever wished you could buy. None of that rubbing alcohol nonsense.

Word. My MIL had some Green Apple liquid dish soap. Guess what it makes doing the dishes smell like? It smells like the day after a sorority party featuring some horrid crap Apple-whatever cocktail and enchiladas.

Egads – sushi?!?

Eh, the Demeter fragrance names are more evocative than descriptive. I used to use Dirt, which had a great earthy, green grass scent but didn’t really smell like dirt.

I’m going to assume that the Sex on the Beach scent smells like the drink, and not the act itself.

Or maybe a cologne that captures the inoffensive fragrances we actually associate with our men? A quote from my sister: “Speedstik and peanut butter! That is the scent of a MAN!”

Will not respond to straight line … will not respond to straight line …

When I was a little girl, my grandpa and my uncles all wore cologne that smelled like pipe tobacco and liquor. Why don’t guys smell like that anymore? (Er, I assume it was cologne.) Remember those cologne ads that used to say “Smells like a man!” Isn’t that what you’re trying to avoid by wearing cologne in the first place?

Personally, I mostly clean my house with vinegar, baking soda, and Dr. Bronner’s Crazy Ass Soap. My laundry stuff is unscented, except for when I use Fels Naptha soap in it. I love the smell of that stuff, it smells like laundry! Nice clean laundry! But it doesn’t really make your laundry smell like it.

And for my own body, I like to smell like clean hair and toothpaste.

They do. It’s called spruce beer (or, if you speak French, biére d’èpinette. I think); my mom, who’s French-Canadian, loves the stuff. You can allegedly find it in Quebec. Of course, do any of those people in Quebec have websites so I can buy it? No, of course not. Because that would be too easy. Even though I want to buy my mom some to cheer her up ::pouts::

But god yes on the smells. I love the smell of freshly done laundry, but, if you use one of those screwed up, fresh-mountain-spring-lavender-surprise soaps and/or fabric softeners, it doesn’t smell like laundry anymore. It smells like allergy season. And I hate allergy season.