To answer Homebrew’s questions:
Firstly, I had my phone on because my family’s got some family stuff. While not earth-shattering, it’s not so trivial as to go ignored while I rock out.
Secondly, blocking her would be the worst thing I could ever do, even if it were possible. At least now I know which numbers to ignore. We have many acquaintances in common. Once she found out I was blocking, I’d be a hostage to any number I didn’t recognize. We used the “borrowed phones” trick a lot when we were dating on the sly.
To answer featherlou’s questions:
The new girl knows the whole story. My world is very small, and I’m quite famous in it. If you’re in that world, you know who I am, and you know the whole sordid mess, because it played out over the course of a full season, under the scrutiny of all and sundry. It was a running gag about how stupid and giddy she made me, in complete contrast to everything I’d been for over ten years. It’d be dishonest of me to pretend all was well with the new girl, and she’d see right through it. Imagine trying to be Romeo’s new girlfriend. She decided to ask me out with the whole soap opera and all my drama right out in the open. She wouldn’t have done that if she wasn’t prepared to deal with the fallout. And, to her credit, she has said as much, and I appreciate that tremendously. I wouldn’t be dating at all if someone I was seeing demanded that I box that up and put it away.
And as to why I haven’t cut her out of my life completely, I can’t. I can’t emotionally, yet, and I can’t logistically, ever. The new girl knows this and expects it to change over time. If I didn’t believe that it could change, I wouldn’t be dating her either, because that’d be unfair to her.
I suppose, pragmatically speaking (and, mind you, I’m not expressing a wish here so much as expressing morbid curiosity), that HSHExGF could come out of the woodwork a changed woman and begin acting like a responsible, caring, trustworthy adult.
But I wouldn’t bet a jelly donut against a golden donut that this will happen.
And the more I see that she won’t change, the more she shows me that my path lies elsewhere. And THAT is the most important thing. She’s screwing herself up with all this.
And, to answer jinwicked, Homebrew, and LouisB (you asses):
Yes. It was insanely cute and very descriptive of how I was with her and she would say it in such a cutesy voice and I would always smile when she said it, and no, I’ll never tell you what it is, and if you find out what it is, I will do such things to you as to make Vlad the Impaler sit up in his grave and go, “Shit. That boy is FUCKED UP.”
