Did you snap off your wrist bone? No? Then shut up (I use this line a lot, it being something I did).
The holiday season is almost over. WHOO! HOO!
[To the poster who slipped on the ice] That’ll teach you, Mr. I-Don’t-Need-A-Surfboard.
Amazon’s Prime Pantry has mismatched cookies! Sandwich cookies that are vanilla on one side and chocolate on the other! Oh BOY!
To Annie-Xmas: While most people wish that the holiday spirit could last all year leading to peace on Earth, you, Ms.Xmas,…well I just don’t know what to say!
To Catsie: My don’t you crave a regimented world. No creativity in your world. Not a hair out of place, I’ll bet.
That’s it, thanks for listening.
Really? That’s it? You had an opportunity to say anything you wanted and that’s it? Talk about a lack of creativity—what a friggin’ waste!
Did you know that water is just melted ice?
Ooh, look he’s mastered another truism. Great job catching up with your peers at the workshop.
I made a cake today.
And now it is all gone. Whoop-de-doo.
We’re having springtime temperatures tomorrow!
Bringing rain for the poor NYC people seeing in the new year in Times Square
I just got a text changing my working hours today, giving me more time to myself and an extra hour a work. Whoopie! I got stuff to do and can use the extra cash.
We get it, Annie, the stuff to do is to meet with your favorite dealer and the extra cash is to pay him.
It’s a dark, dreary day. I kind of like it because I’m just hanging out.
The lazy twits who just hang out should be hanged! What a worthless bunch of resource-sucking parasites!
They’re very close to curing colon cancer.
Hah! Now great-Aunt Martha will live longer and you won’t get your grubby paws on her cash.
I have some pink Champagne.
Big deal. Show me some aquamarine champagne and we’ll talk.
My gosh, it’s the 2nd already! The year is practically over!
In a drunken stupor no doubt.
I knew a man in Nantucket.
who had no bodily appendages worthy of note. How dull can you be?
Mint chocolate brownies are better than plain old chocolate brownies.
Sure, on St. Patricks Day, but the rest of the year? No friggin’ way! And why would an Irishman be going by Cardigan? Have you forgotten the Troubles already?
Thin Mints are the best Girl Scout cookies ever!
Only a pale and spiritless gastronomic Scrooge would go for Girl Scouts’ Thin Mints over Nabisco Double-Stuf Oreos.
Yesterday was Stephen King’s 48th wedding anniversary.
It was Stephen and Tabitha King’s 48th wedding anniversary, you idiot. And Tabitha doesn’t get the credit she deserves as a writer because she’s married to Mr. Prolific.
We are having a mild winter with so little snow it’s really nice.
Oh great - another climate change denialist. Let the whole world go to blazes, just so long as you don’t have shovel a little snow.
I need to make a run to the liquor store - we are out of red wine.
Regards,
Shodan
While you whine about your lack of wine, do you even think about the people with a lack of food?
I got some great half price holiday items at the store.
And you still got ripped off! Doesn’t the term fiscally prudent fit into your tiny vocabulary? Take a few minutes away from reruns of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Gilligan’s Island, and try using your head for a change.
I can’t wait to see the latest episode of Survivor!
It’s you. The person who keeps this stupid franchise going. Ugh!
I had chicken quesadillas for dinner.