And you just couldn’t wait to tell everyone so they’d all think how great you are, right? Did you do it for the tax break? I’m sure whatever the reason you had an ulterior motive, why not come clean and tell us what exactly was in it for you?
I helped my daughter with a homework assignment earlier this evening.
Helicopter parent alert! Did you “help” or did you hover over her and do all the work? How is your precious special snowflake ever going to learn to do anything on her own?
I need to vacuum my carpet.
Yes, vacuum up all those dropped crack rocks so you can dump it on the counter and sort them out, you junkie fiend.
I rescued a poor bunny from being hit by a truck.
That’s your excuse for grabbing a Playboy model’s ass?!
I’m bringing donuts for everyone at work.
You mean you’re bringing *diabetes *to your coworkers. People like you are why this country’s having a health crisis.
It’s time to walk my dogs.
Nothing better than slipping on your dog’s poop that you didn’t pick up, falling down and bruising my knees.
The right bus pulled up just as I got to the bus stop this morning.
Great, take the bus. Because we wouldn’t want anyone to have to actually WALK to places anymore.
Looks like I’m getting nominated for yet another Nobel Prize… this time for chemistry.
Great!! Really?..Deplete the ozone much?..by flying in your peers from around the world to gather at the ceremony. Congrats…enjoy the last few breaths of fresh air while you can.
I prefer slightly browning bananas.
Reverse parthenocarpic racist.
I just discovered a cure for cancer, and will share it with the world’s medical researchers at no charge!
looks up “Parthenocarpic”…
giggles…
Oh, so your response to the prospect for a cure for cancer is “giggle,” “tee hee,” “LOL,” and any other inane way to express laughter? You sicken me.
North Korea is prepared to discuss disarmament.
Do you really trust that joker to tell the truth?
How dumb can you be?
I am at the sonic having a good ol’ limeade:)
Those clowns in the sonic commercial are unfunny and stupid and AND irritating. Plus I heard they are rapists. And actively promote rape. That’s rape juice you’re drinking. Hope you are proud.
I just solved all of the world.
Pat yourself on the back much? That’s quite an ego you’ve got going there.
It was a gorgeous day today!
Make fun of us dealing with rain and storms, would you? You have no empathy for the world outside of your tiny head.
I am watching Anderson Cooper. He’s so nice.
Sure go ahead worship folks that have famous parents and get everything in life handed to them on a silver platter. Guess the idea of “merit” doesn’t mean anything to you.
Oh good, I discovered a bag of M&M’s I left in my desk from Halloween. Guess it’s snack time!
Have you no self control? If you found a loaded pistol in your drawer would it be shoot up the office time?
This is the first phone I’ve had where I haven’t had to do a factory reset during the first year of owning it.
Yeah, I bet you always bought the cheapest piece of junk on the market, and then whined that it didn’t work like an iPhone. Customer Service must’ve loved dealing with your crap .
Awwww, but I can’t stay mad when my widdle doggie is so cuuuuute!
Your babytalk disgusts and literally sickens me.
Aw, my pen just ran out of ink.
Dude, all I gotta say is T. M. I. Next time before you announce your ‘pen runs out ink’, well, you should know they’ve got pills for that kind of thing now.
This year I intend to travel to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower.