Have fun supporting terrorism and human trafficking, you monster.
My son recited his entire ABC’s today in school.
He’s a 6th grader, about time Jethro learned something.
We are having a nice spring shower and my grand babies came over to show off their new raincoats and rain boots. Sooooo cute!
You sound happy about this, which I can only assume means you* intended* on having this child. You and your ilk are the reason why this planet is bursting at the seams with mouths to feed.
I’m leaving work an hour early today.
Nice for YOU, but I had tickets to the ball game, which is rained out. Screw your adorable grandkids.
Maybe a nice cup of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich will make me feel better.
Sure, feed your problems away, let’s talk when you’ve put on an extra 20 pounds.
We’re going to my in-laws for pizza, nice I don’t have to cook.
How nice for them that you’re sponging off them. I don’t suppose you’ll offer to chip in for the pizza, either.
I prefer sausage to pepperoni on my pizza.
Whoa. I didn’t know what you meant by “preferring sausage” until I checked Urban Dictionary. Sicko!!
Perfect day to work in the yard!
What, raping the environment with your oh-so-perfect overwatered lawn? Let the weeds grow, man!
I like pie.
Who doesn’t? Get over yourself!
Man, I can buy anything in the world from Amazon.com.
In case you haven’t noticed, amazon is putting all the brick-and-motar stores out os business, costing people jobs and making everyone nuts from having no human contact.
I got a raise at work today.
You probably kissed up to your supervisor and didn’t really deserve it, what about the other hardworking employees just trying to make ends meet, have you considered that you’re taking food out of their mouths?
I slept good last night.
Oh, you call what are “awake”?
I ate a poptart for breakfast, ah, memories of childhood.
Clogged arteries ahoy!
It’s raining here at the moment.
Acid rain, scarring the landscape and killing fish. But what do YOU care!
Oh hey, looks like I’ll get a nice tax refund this year!
Would you rather have no rain and end up with a drought? A little rain never hurt anyone so get over it.
I’ve been a bit congested all day, I think I’m coming down with something.
You’ll just go out and waste it, like last year, and the year before. You’re a freaking spendthrift.
My dog is being so sweet today. A real cutie-patootie!
Yeah, until cutie patootie becomes poopie dapoopie all over your kitchen floor because you overfed the mangy mutt with doggie bonbons.
I just finished filing my taxes.
How much hookers and blow did you try and write off as a business expense this year?
This chorizo burrito is fucking awesome!
Thanks for sharing sweary McSwearington.
I have nothing but good things to say about the next poster.
You’re obviously an idiot. Because I’m a total asshole.
That chorizo burrito is already murdering my butthole.