Apparently using a sticky keyboard of your own, pot calling kettle!
“The man who is tired of London is tired of life.” Dr. Samuel Johnson
Ah, yes, Doctor Samuel Johnson, the man most of us know for the quote “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.” and that you no doubt only know from the “funny meme” about a dude in a wig staring intensely at a book.
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.
Let’s sing a song from a show about Nazis. Maybe it’s springtime for Hitler.
My bad hand has improved today, making for fewer typos.
Yeah, and my hemorrhoids are bothering me less today too, but you don’t hear me bellyaching about every ache and pain do you?
Don’t you wish Santa’s workshop was real?
Right. You want a group of under-sized enslaved workers forced to live in a freezing cold climate, making toys for an overweight, over-aged guy who gets all the recognition when he gives them away for free? You Nazi!
I ate lunch in the park today, enjoying our great weather.
And you suppose the trees filter out the local dust and the air pollution of the entire world. Just keep telling yourself it was great weather.
I managed to throw a bunch of stuff out – some for the veterans, some for the trash. Felt so good.
And you suppose it’s ok to give the veterans broken glass and old cardboard boxes, while you feel good you didn’t have them scrounge through old banana peels and coffee grounds! All our veterans want is some respect and you think you’re doing them a favor that you throw your trash at them! No wonder this country is going to the dogs!
Hanging out with my dog, black, and my daughter’s dog, white, like dog bookends, just chillin’ on the couch.
Black dog…white dog? What is that suppose to be, some kind of racist dog whistle?!
I miss the old phone books with their blue page, white page, and yellow page listings.
Which got thrown out every year. What an ecological disaster.
A stranger paid for my 7-eleven coffee refill today.
Vagrancy is generally looked down upon in most places. Feel free to beg, but just not at the 7-Eleven near me.
The keyboard manufacturing industry should just bite the bullet and start aggressively marketing non-qwerty keyboard designs.
You should probably bite the bullet and stop giving your opinion about mundane pointless things when no one asked you.
I have a sty over my one eye.
Unless you only have one eye, quit your bitching.
I get the next three days off of work.
Apparently you are unaware that you are up for the Most Dispensable Employee Award.
My neighbors will set off fireworks on the Fourth of July.
Aimed STRAIGHT at your house!
Grilling burgers for my fam, got some Impossible burgers for my vegan daughters.
So, you are allowing the fat to splatter on your kids’ vegan burgers?
Sophia and I went camping.
Did you shit in the woods?
Got a great tie-dyed shawl at a garage sale for $2. A blast from the past.
You live in the past. Your LSD flashback will be over soon so you can start a new on, you poor poor child.
I’m giving away some of my cds.
Wow. You’re giving away some of your useless trash? Does such wonderful present come with some empty liquor bottles and banana peels too?
corvus oculum corvi non eruit.
You’re not really impressing anyone with your clever little Latin tags, you know. It’s a dead language; let it go, man, let it go.
We’re going to Paris next year.
Well, la de dah for you. Some people can’t even afford to go to McDonald’s for french fries.
Boston could get its third sports championship in one year. WHOO HOO!