I post a benign comment, you fake offense to it and then post your own.

Did you go into a store, [ick out a pair you really want after trying on forty of them, and plunk down $100 for them, and then toss your old ones in the garbage can? Some people have no choice but to wear second hand, donated shoes.

I’m going to the Broadway Flea Market on Sunday.

You’ve finally come to your senses and realized that second hand furnishings must remain your lot in life. Congratulations.

I’ve been given CBD oil for arthritis. Haven’t used it yet.

So , you complain of arthritis pain but a friend gives you CBD oil for free, you don’t use it. You just trolling friends for higher dose narcotics and drugs, for your “arthritis pain”? I see.

My son just got a commercials gig, as his usual character, a sports/football fan.

And you encourage your meatheaded spawn to engage in thug like behavior while shirtless???

I think I broke my pinky toe last night

Aw, didums bweak his widdle pinky toe? What a wussy snowflake!

Watching “Die Hard”.

Wow such a scintillating Sunday afternoon watching a highly edited old movie on commercial TV.

The post office sent my package to Austin by mistake, I don’t know if I’ll ever see it again.

We have hundreds of children go missing in this country every day and all you care about is your stupid package going astray?

I can’t wait for all the season premiers!

Okay, we get it, you’re a couch potato.

Neighbor’s getting to be a real asshole.

Funny, that what your neighbor’s saying, too.

Ad Astra may be a slow movie for some, I thought it was thoughtful with great visual space scenes.

Well, aren’t you high fallutin? Can’t you just say “It looked good”?

Two days off work! WHOO HOO!

Pissed off the boss and got a two day suspension, did ya?

Fall is here.

Duh. Thank you for that useless info, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

Mattress tags are for your protection as consumers.

And just how is a tag supposed to protect me, and don’t you DARE call me a consumer again!

The sunrise was gorgeous this morning.

GOod GOd every day the sun rises someone has to boast about it!
you can’t win the prize if you don’t play the game

Oh sure, and when little Susie loses, she cries. Why do you want to see kids lose and cry? Next time, everyone gets a trophy.

My laser printer is almost out of ink.

What, you need help with this? OK, step 1. Get in car. Step 2. Drive to store. Step 3. Buy laser printer ink cartridge. Step 4. Drive home. Step 5. Install cartridge. See how EZ that was? Sheesh.

I’m thinking my next car should be electric.

You and a million others think about it but you’ll be with the rest of us pumping co2 into our shared air.

Tomorrow I go to physical therapy for prevention purposes.

Translation:”I’m so obese I can barely walk, so I’m finally getting physical therapy my doctor ordered months ago, so I can prevent getting a heart attack.” Better late than never!

Sure is windy out today.

Worried about your toupee’?
My cats are staring at me, again.

Stop dancing around like a maniac, maybe they’ll stop staring.

Cooking rice with altered shrimp noodle sauce.