“I was talking to the dog!”
Oh then, your going to hate thursdays.
Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day!
If your housekeeper were sleeping in her own bed, you’d have found your ladle by now.
Now wheresh the woman with the sore tooth?
That takes on a whole new meaning on this MB.
Yep. 
“Okay, who ordered the clean glass?”
“And she would have, too, if Daddy hadn’t held her down!”
The Joke:
Two Polack–er, Polish guys are walking down the street when they meet a priest with his arm in a cast. They ask him what happened and he tells them he slipped in the bathtub and broke his arm. As they walk away, the first guy asks his buddy, “What’s a bathtub?” The second guy responds…
“I thought you might want to open those bottles of beer!”
Move over, girls, I’ve got to gargle.
Well Timmy, is your dick finally long enough to touch your asshole? Then go fuck yourself, this is my beer.
Can I ask one, too?
In high school, my friend and I performed a one-act play that began with the punchline to a joke: “A bowling ball you could eat if you had to.”
We were supposed to be doubled over in laughter at the joke, but neither one of us could figure out what the set-up was. Plus, we were (and are) bad actors.
So…any ideas?
“Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”
You’re not making a fucking canoe out of me!!!
What is the difference between a black woman and a bowling ball?
I heard this one as, “HERE’S your fucking canoe!!”
My version was (while miming stabbing motions all over one’s body): “Fuck your canoes! Fuck your canoes!”
“What’s the catch?”