I wasn’t in the original thread, but the post was disturbing out of context. Then again, it’s more literary but no more gruesome than the stuff my son (age 6) makes up now.
The apology makes up for it, though.
I am confident that your internal editor will act a bit faster next time. Buck up, Doc. You’re okay. If I am at a Dopefest near you, you can play with my kids. I bet my son would love to hear you do a dramatic reading of that post, in fact.
I’m sorry, but who put you in charge of when you do and do not deserve a stern talking to? Delusions of grandeur much?
Let me be clear. When you are deserving of a stern talking to, we will so advise you. At that point, you will take your stern talking to like a man. Now, near as I can tell, while there is a small minority that deems a minor admonishment to be appropriate, the vast majority seems to be sending you love.
Again, let me be clear. You will take this love and you will enjoy it. Should you fail to do so, we may need to resort to tough love. As I understand it, some among the group, urbanchic perhaps most of all, tend to focus more on the tough and less on the love, when all comes to bear. I suggest you acquiesce.
In the future, if there is any question, you may appeal to the broad opinion of the Karmic Kouncil to determine whether stern talkings to are a necesseary measure.
What, they can have a freakin Brat Pack, but I can’t have a Karmic Kouncil?
Doc, you probably ran on a bit too long. W.C. Fields had it about right:
*“Do you like children, Mr. Twillie?”
“Yes, if they’re properly cooked.”*
Brevity is indeed the soul of wit.
Snort. Please. In the unlikely even that you and my kids where to meet at a dopefest, you would have to get way wayyyyy more over the top than that to scare them. In fact, they would probably have you running away in abject terror at the end of the night.
Doc, I’ve read too many of your posts to have anything but a good perception of you and count me as another sick bastard who laughs at that kind of humor.
I think it’s good of you to apologize to the handful of people who were genuinely upset but your over all reputation is still in good standing and I seriously doubt that more than a couple of people saw it as anything more than a dark joke.
You’re a better, and funnier, man than I, DocCathode.
The apology was classy but wholly unnecessary. The post in question was funny and well written. Truly first rate humor.
I’m going to have to go against the other opinions posted in this thread.
I found that post very offensive. Mainly, this part:
I’m sorry, but coconut is fucking nasty.
I recognized the post as humor but after the first line or two stopped reading it because I knew I’d find it offensive and disturbing. I just don’t find damaging children to be funny, and I don’t need that kind of imagery taking up space in my head. Of course I had to get up and walk out of Blade 2 because I was so disturbed by that movie so… Maybe I do have a big ol’ stick up my butt. I could give a shit if anyone thinks I’m uptight.
Still the apology is lovely and I doubt anyone thinks you’d actually hurt real live kids.
Twiddle
Mmmmmmmm. Corn dogs.
You are one sick puppy. 
Gotta agree that coconut is nasty. It’s like eating hair. Adult hair, I mean, of course. I’m decent about my cannibalism.
Ah, you run into a lot of children who are the victims of gourmet cannibalism, do you?
If you’re worried about the next Dopefest then just tell everyone there that your The Cooler of Death, or handy, or something…maybe no-one will notice. 
Well, I thought it was funny, too. But then, I’m an extremely twisted individual.
That said, I think the apology was called for (and classily executed.) Not because the post wasn’t funny, but because it was inappropriate (hijacky, off-topic) to the thread.
What the fuck did I ever do to you?
Funny original post.
Lame self-pitting.
I only hope that the primary motive of the pitting was to point people towards the original joke who might not have been reading the thread. Like me.
Nothing. You’re an adjective. I was talking about the noun.
Bing
One more vote here for “apology not necessary”, and “it would have been funnier if it had been more condensed”.
“When to have children? Why, for breakfast, of course!” would have been better.
You need an editor, Doc, not a keeper. Relax.