Yep. Bumping into each other in church will be a nice treat.
“So, CrazyPants, The Douche cheated on his wife with you. What makes you think he won’t (isn’t already) cheat on you?”
That actually would make a lot of sense - their relationship is, “Do what you like on the road, but don’t bring any diseases or babies home.”
How did you get Mrs. P to agree to let you live at home while you’re schtupping K?
I also am excited that you are willing to take one for the team and expect a full report in the morning!
But my primary reaction is, oh, that poor, poor kid. Can the dad sue for custody or something? At least if his paramour is the babysitter, she knows the kid already…
I can’t wait to hear about this. But I am glad for her sake you decided to go. She’s probably in the hands of an accomplished seducer. And she’s probably going to need your help desperately a few months from now. I hope you’ll be there for her.
So is P. still fucking his wife, since he is living at home? –> AFAIK, he is still living at home but in the spare bedroom. Yes, cue the eye rolls.
Does P. fuck around with a lot of women or is K. his sole fuck-buddy? –> I have no idea.
How did the two meet? –> They knew each other from their youth, and reconnected via facebook. (again, with the eye rolls)
How long have they been carrying on this long term relationship? –> Since last summer. K. moved out of the family home (and into her sister’s home) about 6 months ago.
What attributes, other than his dick, does K. see in P.? –> I’ll find that out tonight! I have no doubt he’s charming (or thinks he is). Apparently, K. really like the fact that he talks to her in flowery language, lots of love, coddling, passion, etc. K’s ex-hubby is a bit…stoic in that department.
AFAIK, ex-hubby (or soon-to-be-ex) hasn’t exactly lawyered up. Which is INSANE because I think he could take her for all she’s got – at least, he could have, had he not posted photos of his new paramour online. Not the brightest move. I’ll find out more about the legal side of the situation tonight!
[QUOTE= smaje1]
The new lover (I’ll call him P.) has a wife and kids and he’s still living with them (although he has allegedly told his wife that he’s in love with K., but plans to take a year to “acclimate” his children to the idea of him leaving them – seriously, a year. And then he’ll leave his family to be with L.).
[/QUOTE]
And as her sole remaining friend, guess who she will turn to when P. dumps her as soon as his wife is pregnant again in six to eight months.
Thank God for other people’s problems. Compared to them, mine are nothing. And add me to the list of those absolutely slavering for your update tomorrow. Especially if he comes on to you.
Regards,
Shodan
(numbering added for convenience).
- I’ll take the over (ie the boyfriend’s wife has no idea what’s going on).
- I’ll go with it’s already occurring for the big win.
- You’re being absurdly generous I’d take 6 months tops.
While past performance is no indication of future results is a good maxim in the financial world, it’s totally untrue in relationships in my experience. If someone will cheat with you then they’ll almost certainly cheat on you just as easily.
Ask K if she has met any of P’s friends.
Because, to quote Chris Rock: “If you haven’t met any of your boyfriend’s friends, then you ain’t his girlfriend”
Also I would ask tons of questions about P’s wife and kids, just to watch him squirm.
“So P, Has K met your kids yet? Why not, they needs to start getting acclimated to her don’t they? Have you filed for divorce yet? What are you waiting for? This is obviously true wuv and I’m sure you can’t wait to start your next chapter together.”
That kind of stuff.
How old is the daughter? I’m guessing from this part:
that she’s on the young-ish side?
Would her dad want full custody? I know courts have a reputation for favoring the mother over the father in custody disputes, but I’d like to think that a decent judge would rule in his favor, should he choose to pursue it. Has the daughter ever met this P. fella?
ETA: on re-reading the part I quoted … oh wow, projecting much? I very highly doubt the daughter is all that excited. Oh, and her dad’s boinking her babysitter on top of it? Wouldn’t surprise me if her relationship with one or both parents becomes very, very strained when she gets a bit older.
Does your cell phone have a speakerphone feature? And do you have a nationwide coverage plan? I’d suggest you bring it along with you to dinner, and if the opportunity arises, give Mrs P. a call, introduce yourself, and tell her your doubts about this arrangement and ask for her reassurance. On speakerphone.
If K was a guy, I’d say “He’s thinking with his dick.” But that’s inappropriate. She’s in love!
Yeah, daughter is on the youngish side. Apparently, when K and her ex sat her down to break the news that mommy was moving out, the daughter said she agreed it was a good idea for mommy to move out. (Because she’d been witnessing a LOT of fights and acrimony – I would have felt the same way.) I think K. assumes this all means that daughter wants K. to go out and live her life with her new lover.
I don’t know if daughter has met P., but I’ll find out tonight!
And I don’t know if ex-hubby is fighting for custody – I agree, he should probably win it – or if they’re trying to work out a visitation schedule that they can both agree on without the courts. But if I were him, I’d be lawyering my ass up.
Wait until K. is away from the table (bathroom break or something) and slip P. a card with your number and a “text me”.
Run a book on how long it is before he gets in contact.
For maxumin fun, save the message and show K.
You need to decide right now if you’re this woman’s friend or not. If you decide you’re not, then go ahead and go to this dinner with her for the entertainment value. If, however, you decide that you are her friend, then you have an obligation as a friend to hit her over the head with a clue-by-four. There is a time and a place for politely refraining from criticism, and this ain’t it.
ARGH!
On the other hand:
…Rereading the OP, and realizing it’s only March now, maybe I don’t need to be overly concerned about the mom uprooting her child from her dad when the school year begins in September…
Chronos, trust me, I’ve gone over and over this in my head. I am her friend, but there is literally nothing I could say that would make her change her mind. And if I speak up, I simply ruin the friendship. In our conversations about this, K. has gone on and on about how freaking happy she is. Why would she listen to ME telling her that she’s being insane?
I realize I must not be coming off as a great friend here in this forum – after all, I’m talking about her behind her back to a bunch of Internet strangers. But there’s only so much friendship I can offer to a person such as K. She’s always been a bit…flighty.
The best thing I can do for her is to be here to support her. I didn’t want to get drawn into the crazy, but here I am. I couldn’t desert her in her hour of need, but I’m certainly not going to tell her how to live her life.
I wouldn’t call that relationship open - I would call it resigned.
Its quite possible Mrs. P knows her husband screws around - and for whatever reason (kids, religion, money) has decided to not make a big deal of it as long as he comes home. She doesn’t condone it, it isn’t an open marriage, more she turns a blind eye to it.
Open relationships don’t generally involve someone like P making promises to K - why would he?
I had something kind of like this happen once. I had a really stupid friend who was cheating on her abusive boyfriend with some other dude, who was the best dude ever, of course. She asked me to call him and tell him she couldn’t meet him that night. She couldn’t call him herself because she could only delete the entire call log on her cell phone, not just one individual call, and then her boyfriend would see that the call log had been deleted and would be suspicious.
I reluctantly called the guy and gave him the message. He said okay and started trying to make plans with me! I’d never even met the guy. I didn’t bother telling my friend because I knew it wouldn’t do any good and that this guy wouldn’t be around for long anyway.
Some people are just so sleazy.
Wait, what’s this, “In the morning,” crap. We don’t care what time you get back home, we wants our report.
in fact, if you’re handy with you phone, you could give us updates during the meal.