Not always. I’m almost four months pregnant and Itty and Bitty have stubbornly remained the same size.
Every woman is different, especially when it comes to pregnancy.
Well said.
Or not, my mother didn’t need to change bras until the last trimester; her mother not even then. But grandma has always had a very large cup, Mom’s not as large but still on the large side.
OP: either drop it or if she still isn’t better after another month suggest she see a doctor with no mention of pregnancy. And stop making assumptions.
Unless she’s doing something recklessly dangerous to the hypothetical baby, I cannot think of a single good reason to keep harping at her.
Wait six months and see.
Twice on the pill, once on a tubal ligation. I am just seriously fertile I guess, I was on ortho-novum 1/80 from the age of 16 to help out the PCOS [which it did, made me nice and regular until I got my tubes tied and went off the pill] And about 10 years after the tubal [ this was back when they essentially rubber banded it] I ended up with a proteus mirabilis infection in the lower abdomen that made the tube swell and pop the scar tissue and banding. We went back in and cut and physically removed tube and that took care of that until the hysterectomy a couple years back.
And believe me, if you have the bad side of PCOS, you will do pretty much anything to keep it under control. Unfortunately I ended up off the pill because the Navy in its infinite wisdom decided since I had a tubal I didn’t need the pill, despite a real no shit diagnosis from a real civilian doctor that I had PCOS, complete with pictures. :dubious::smack:
To be helpful to her, stop being a tool. If she goes to a dentist you will have to what??? If she goes to a dentist, you should mind your business! Get her a toothbrush. You aren’t a psychiatrist/psychologist*, and you aren’t a doctor. Her symptoms could all be due to overeating. Upset stomach, cranky, etc…I’m like that when I gain weight, and I haven’t been pregnant yet.
- You said ‘she’s in denial.’ A. She would have to be pregnant to be in denial. B. Just because she’s *denied *it, doesn’t make her in denial. She may fully know everything that you do, and be denying it for any number of reasons. Including the fact that she isn’t pregnant.
You are too much of a buttinsky, methinks.
I’m surprised that you haven’t called DHS on her yet. Maybe the PD, for child abuse.
GET A GRIP, PLEASE!
I say you keep pushing her about this relentlessly. With luck, she’ll end the friendship and a busybody like you won’t be in her child’s life. SHE IS 39 YEARS OLD - LEAVE HER ALONE.
For the record, I mentioned pregnancy once, almost a month ago. She made it clear that it wasn’t a conversation to be repeated and I haven’t said a word about it since. She does mention being unusually tired and hungry pretty much every day. Usually just after she mentions how much she wants children or how tight her clothes are. Which is what makes me think that she is aware of the possibility at some level or other.
At the moment I just do what I normally do and let her talk when she needs to without passing any comment. My op was whether I should be doing more to help her join up the dots.
For the record, your OP also mentions trying to control her diet, alcohol intake, and considering intervening in her medical care (the dentist appt.). You’ve mentioned to her you think she’s pregnant and while you haven’t said anything, your behavior towards her speaks violumes. She’s not the only one in denial here if you think she hasn’t picked up on this.
Are the prospective father perchance? Because, frankly your concern…is above average to say the least.
Now that would be impossible! When I say we’re friends, that’s exactly what I mean. We’re very close friends, but there has never been a hint of anything else from either side. And that isn’t me protesting too much either.
The father lives the other side of the Atlantic and is unlikely to be interested from what I gather. So there probably is some selfish reason for the concern as it’s highly likely I would end up being her birth partner and helping out quite a lot.
Her life, her choices to make or ignore. There are lots of people who need to delude themselves about how they got pregnant. They live in a time when there are lots of choices available, which makes having a baby quite an intentional act. But it seems tons of people need for it to be unintentional, at all costs. So they fudge up the specifics, misread the dates, ignore the obvious, till the chance to change things has passed, etc. often these are people simply unable to take responsibility for their own choices, preferring a world where things ‘just happen’ to feckless, unsuspecting them! They cannot play victim otherwise. Then what’s to talk about? They won’t feel comfortable playing the ‘poor me’ card if they own their behaviour, after all. It’s much easier to play that role with sincerity if, ‘it just happened!’
Also consider she could be laying groundwork for plausible deniability if the sperm provider should find out, or inconveniently turn up!
Short version? This is her matter to manage, not yours. You cannot change her, you’ve made your view clear, now back off. Consider the harder you push the more in denial she’ll be. Feign complete indifference, it signals this is her issue to decide, that you expect maturity from her, and perhaps you’ll get some.
I’m curious how you would feel if you told your close friend, repeatedly you were NOT preggers, and they just kept at it? Would you be hurt? Offended? Would them hiding behind concerns for you override totally ignoring your words?
Step back and stay out of it. After all, time will tell. And soon, if you’re right!
This. And, since I’m an ass, when she turns up pregnant, I’d remind her about how no man could possibly have known before she did, and how impossible it was for her to be pregnant.
I despise being told “It’s a [blank] thing, you wouldn’t understand.”
Just look at her every time she starts complaining. Lift your eyebrow slightly, you know the “Seriously?” look. If she asks, say in a neutral tone “you know what I think”. If she gets annoyed, ask her to stop bringing it up. Repeat as necessary until truth is apparent either way.
“Could I borrow a cup of urine?”
This I like. If it turns out that I’m right I’ll be as supportive as I can be. But I’m going to demand a 24 hour period of smugness in return!
I was appalled and horrified at the level of controlling behavior I saw in the OP. Unless you are the father, this is none of your damn business. Butt out. Carry on with your plans to train for the triathalon. Either she’s pregnant and you’ll be running it by yourself or she’s not and you’ll have your training partner with you. Stop telling her what to eat, what to drink, and do not follow up on every single doctor and dentist appointment. This is none of your business or concern. If you were my friend I’d drop you for being such a controlling controlster. Stop it.
I agree with this. When I read the post I was like jeez dad…leave her alone. We all just love busybodies, don’t we, that don’t want us to drink or anything when we’re pregnant. Even when we’re probably not. Don’t make us into fragile flowers, please, just leave us be. And don’t hound her about being pregnant! Imagine she’s not. Now she wants a kid and she’s got you hounding her about being pregnant, watching her diet, making sure she doesn’t drink, getting ready to ask her about her DENTAL xray - how is all that shit not going to depress the hell out of her!
When my best friend was pregnant, I knew before she did. I could just tell. She was pissed off but I insisted. Turned out I was right. Sometimes when you are really close with someone you can pick up on the signs that others can’t see.
Or leave her alone. There maybe very good reasons she doesn’t want to disclose to the OP if she is pregnant and knows it. She may not be in denial, she may be choosing to be discreet, for her own reasons.