…she works in our post office behind the counter, and I am wondering how best to let her know that I find her attractive and would like to date her. There’s usually someone waiting right behind me or at the next open place, and I don’t want to initiate a conversation of this type while she’s at work.
Passing a note also doesn’t seem a good option, because I don’t wanna scare her into thinking I’m trying to hold her up.
I only know her first name, because that’s what’s on the name tag she wears, and I don’t know anyone else at the post office well enough to ask her last name or phone number, and anyway, I don’t think they’d give it to me.
I have been seeing her there for the last 8 years, so I think she knows I’m no serial-whatever, and she knows where I work (the local hospital), so what would y’all suggest? She’s sending all the right signals except one: She doesn’t address me by my first name. Maybe I should take that as a signal that she’s just being friendly and nothing else? But then why does she engage me in conversation about my job and my family in Germany?
It’s not my way to just come out and say, “Hey [her name here], are you flirting with me?”, so I’m kind of at a loss for what to do here.
Maybe I should just let it be one of those fleeting “what-ifs?”
Your comments, as always are invited and appreciated.
Edited at request of poster to remove actual name - UB
Ask her to go get a cup of coffee after work or something!
Don’t let it be one of those ‘what ifs’ people are always wondering about!
Yes, just ask her noncholantly! Don’t make a big deal out of it - “Hey you wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime?” If she says yes, say “Great how about next week? - here’s my number, call me!” - Scribble your number on a piece of paper then slip it under the plexiglass.
If she says no (maybe she’s got a b/f), just say “Okay, well it was worth a shot” and smile.
8 years!? I think you have waited long enough. Time to take action! You could “accidently” bump into her while she is getting off work. Better to ask and know, then too not know and have regrets.
Ask her out. Try to go when it’s not busy, e.g. mid-morning or mid-afternoon, if at all possible. If she’s not at a window, ask someone if she’s around and available for a moment. Then just say: “You know, maybe it’s the heroin talking*, but I’ve always thought you were really nice – would you be interested in getting a cup of coffee some time?”
Seriously, ask her out! Even if there are people behin d you in line. (As long as you don’t take forever to do it.)
- You can say “crank” instead, if you think it would sound better.
How is it that you find time to chat about work and family but don’t have a moment to ask her out? You’ve been pining after this girl for 8 yrs… time to make a move or regret it forever. “What if” is not an option.
It’s the “name” thing that keeps me from doing what y’all say.
She has a “reason” to know my name (my full name), but she doesn’t use it. That is what’s giving me pause.
Okay, it’s a stupid reason, but that’s just the kind of insecure idiot I am.
RugBurn: There isn’t that much time involved when she asks about work and family: The whole thing takes less than 60 seconds, usually.
And as for asking her out for a cup of coffee after work, it would probably come out as “cuff o coppee”, but I may try it. Thanks!
Maybe she thinks that if she addresses you by name you’ll think she’s a stalker. Do you address her by her name?
And you have a “reason” to know her name - she wears a NAMETAG! Do you really think she expects you NOT to have read it?!?!
Well, you could wait another 8 years in the hopes that she’ll one day call you by name…and she’ll probably be married and have 2 kids and 5 cats by then. Or you could muster up a bit of courage and just go for it and kick yourself in the ass for not doing it sooner and wasting the last 8 years.
I can understand not wanting to ask her out in front of a bunch of people. Go to the post office around 9:45…everyone is at work and haven’t taken an early lunch yet.
I figure you can probably ask her out in about 10 seconds. Use your 50 seconds for your usual small talk and then spring it. It’s really silly and amazing when you think about it. 10 measly seconds could make all the difference in your life, you just have to grab 'em.
Coffee sounds like a safe bet. Make it on Sunday morning if you want the option to extend the date if things are going well.
Good luck, you can do it.
She could just be the kind of person that feels weird saying someone’s name to them. I do, unless it’s in a group setting. I even meant to address the pharmacy tech at my pharmacy by his first name the other day, since I’ve been going there for two years now, and I still chickened out. (He’s about the same age as I am. I’d address the older pharmacist by Mr. xxx.)
I did it. I asked her. I had to keep backing up in line so I would be sure to get her place on the counter, and I’m sure people were wondering what the hell I was doing, giving up my place in line…
Anyway, she’s married and doesn’t wear a ring! She told me that, and I felt like shit. I don’t think I’ll go back there again. There’s another post office on the other side of town, I’ll just go there from now on.
Dammit! 52 and I have yet to find somoene to love. I’ll fucking be dead soon…
Sorry! Just frustrated. Just frustrated…
I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but at least you tried, and didn’t leave it as a “missed opportunity” to get sad over.
She’s at work. Maybe they’re supposed to address folks by their last name. Ask her out, but DON’T tell her you’ve had the hots for her for eight years. She’ll think you’re a whack job and won’t want to hang with you.
That sucks, but as ** DeniseV** said at least you tried. Bravro!
That’s awesome. That took some real balls, hats off to ya. Sorry she’s married, but don’t you feel good about yourself for going for it. It’s not like she said she wasn’t interested in ya, just married…big difference.
Well done, Quasi. I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but take some time to revel in your badassedness. You are among the ranks of those brave enough to ask out an attractive woman pretty much out of the blue. Keep it up!
Y’all are making me cry, Goddamit!! Thank you. Thank you so much, for your kindnesses.
It ain’t that I’m ugly, I just don’t know how to present myself, I guess.
Anyway, I appreciate it more than I can say! Y’all are the best!
Too bad it didn’t work out, but I was thinking about the name issue – perhaps there is some weird policy that forbids the clerks to use first names? Seems weird, but it was my first thought.
Just don’t wait another 8 years to make your move. Every day gives you another chance to be a badass, they can’t all be married ya know. Now go get some and get on with your bad self.