Good. Step one is complete. Now, just wait a couple of months, start dating someone else, and get her goooood and jealous.
Happy
But New Chick has to look just like this chick.
For the record…
Tonight I upgraded ‘I have feelings’ to ‘I am in Love’.
Not all my own doing mind you. It was my intention to keep secret the fact that she’s the cause of my suffering. Someone else told her that tonight. And got me to say why.
She took it well because as I have said before I think she already knew. And has already gone through the agony and guilt of being the cause of my state of mind. She thinks the world of me and she doesn’t want anyone. It’s not just me she doesn’t want a relationship with.
I as much as asked her if I’d ever have a chance with her. She couldn’t give me a straight answer to that.
BTW in the general case of unrequited love; Does it get easier after the object of your love knows?
(not knows you have ‘something’ for them… but knows you’re in love with them)
It is time. Shrug it off and move on. The time will come when you’ll look back and think WTF, why did I waste so much of my time and spirit on this situation. When you are with someone you love AND loves you, and I mean the real thing, you will not be able to understand your feelings of this time.
Go out as the New and Improved Lobsang and find the right one.
Life is too short.
how fucking ironic or weird is this… tonight’s the night I told her I’m in love with her. And at this very moment I’m having an msn messenger conversation with her.
BTW I distinctly remember sending a post to the sdmb asking someone, anyone, to put my situation (using the entire thread history) into perspective and summarize it for me as an outside-party would do a better job than me who’s judgement and rationality is severely clouded by the situation so that I have a better chance of choosing a way forward.
In other words… HELP!
You’re chatting with her right now and you want our help?!?!?!
Tell her that you are her density!
Tell her we demand a picture.
Of her.
You wouldn’t think I’d have to say that, but you never know.
I will say that the last woman I fell in love with figured out on her own that I had these feelings for her and confronted me about them. We were very good friends at the time. I confessed and she didn’t have a problem with it, was flattered, etc. Just not interested.
I think she knew from the way I treated her that she was special to me in more than a friendship way, but as long as we were both clear on where she stood, it was fine. It even became a sort of joke between us. Every so often, she’d ask, “Are you still interested in me?” Not in a teasing kind of way, but genuinely curious as to whether these feelings of mine were still lingering. All worked out well.
I hope that your friendship with this lady is able to maintain such a high quality of friendship as I was fortunate enough to have.
It may not be much comfort, Lobsang, but the last girl I came out and told my feelings to (which surprised me just as much as it did her, I think) didn’t start to date me until about 6 excrutiating months later, and now we’ve been together for about three and a half years. So, you know, don’t give up hope yet.
Asdlkjsdf?
Get off the SDMB and talk to her! Don’t waste your time posting here! Go connect! 
snogs and wishes under breath, crossing fingers
It’s been about five months since I told a friend I have a crush on her. It was hard to do as it was the first time I told anyone that (maybe second, depending on your perspective). Reading Lobsang’s other threads about the situation I empathized quite a bit with what he was going through since I had just gone through it.
It’s been an excruciating five months for me. Actually, the first month wasn’t so excruciating, it was kind of exciting and pleasant, but it ended up being pretty excruciating after that.
I’m not with her now. I have hardly talked with her in the last four months. We spoke of being friends forever, and I still believe in that, but for the moment we don’t see each other or talk. She’s in another (nearby) city and she is back with her boyfriend, so it’s harder to see her.
It’s been very hard for me. She made me feel attractive and interesting in a way few, if any, people had done before. She was also someone I could talk for hours with, a friend that could make me happy just by hearing her voice. In fact, she still is, even if we don’t see each other or talk, that’s a large part of why these last four months have been hard.
There’s a part of me that hopes that, like JimSox5, I will have my “excruciating six months” (or longer) and then we can be happily together. It isn’t necessarily what I really want however and it seems a bit disrespectful of the fact that she has a boyfriend and of our friendship. A bigger part of me hopes that there will come a time when we can talk to each other and be close without feeling guilty about her boyfriend (and, if I have a girlfriend at that point, without making her jealous).
So anyway, if I understand your siruation you have told her clearly that you have a crush on her or love her, whichever you prefer. This hasn’t resulted in her not talking to you, which is probably good in my book. She didn’t say she felt the same, but she didn’t say never either. I really couldn’t say whether she was just trying not to hurt your feelings or not, but if she was I suppose that says that she cares about your feelings, which is good. Eventually I think things will have to be clarified, if she says “maybe in a couple months” and in a couple months you are still interested, it seems fair for you to bring it up again.
I’m not advocating this course per se, but I am saying that if you are both sincere in what you told each other and you are both forthright in your actions toward the other person over the next couple months then it ought to be OK for you to bring it up again (if she hasn’t).
But don’t discount the idea of finding someone else. You value your friendship with this person right? Do you really need to be with her? It may be easier, rather than having this desire hanging over your friendship, to find someone else. After all, she really may just not want to hurt your feelings and it wouldn’t do to pine after someone who doesn’t share your feelings.
In my limited experience, no. It generally gets messy and painful for a while, then it gets easier. But the decision, the mess and the pain are a necessary part of the process by which it gets better (like lancing a boil - lovely romantic image, I know).