I want to hit this dumb worker bitch

So I work in a library. And this meek, little, quiet, red-haired lady who must be in her mid-30’s (and doing a college student’s shit job) just started. And she’s really “thorough and mindful,” but after a little while, it’s turning into “pedantic and annoyingly nitpicky.” She’s insistent upon taking notes about everything and asking pointless questions about the most meaningless minutiae. And then she’ll apologize all over the place and gradually increase pitch to a squeal, “I’m sorry I just don’t want to mess anything upppppppp!!!???!!!??? [giggle giggle while covering mouth]”

I mean, get a fucking life. Or get fucked for once in your life.

Geezy petes.

You wanna hit a meek, little, quiet, red-haired lady because she’s trying to make sure she does a good job?

Choo got some serious anger management issues there dood.

Stop being a meanyhead, alice.

But Juanita - I’m a meek, little, quiet, red-haired lady - I thought he was talking to ME.

Well, ok, no I’m not, and no I didn’t.

Somebody’s got a cru-ush…

I do a college student’s shit job, and I’m nearing 30. Are you aware of what the job market is like? Especially for those of us supposedly “overqualified” for shit jobs and not qualified or experienced enough for better employment. I bet this woman needs very much to keep this job and is afraid of screwing it up. I bet she doesn’t have the luxury of a who-cares attitude. And I bet she’s not too thrilled to be working with the likes of kids who want to hit her because she tries hard. So what if she’s got a weird laugh?

Dear Penthouse,

I never believed that these letters were true, until something happened to me. I was working in the library when in walked in a red head in her mid thirties….Baw Chika Bawa.

Other than the “I want to hit her” part, you might have had a decent rant. My advice is for you to read for a while more before you step in it again.

Haj

Now if had you wanted to carve her heart out with a mellon baller, perhaps we would have a rant.

Wait, do you live in North Carolina? Is her name Jessica by any chance!?

(That would be tooo bizarre if so)

Oh my god people. It’s just a rant! I say I want to hit my co-worker [sub](‘cow-orker’ is SO five minutes ago)[/sub] on a daily basis, but I never do it. I hate even killing spiders. There are just some people in this world whose idiosyncracies–for whatever reason–get on your nerves.

The woman I work with is a lazy bitch that makes me do her work while she IM’s her friends all fucking day. And she does that George Costanza thing where she’ll act all annoyed so she’ll look busy. It makes me hate her with a white-hot passion and I say things like, “She needs a good slap”, but I never mean I want any harm to come to her.

Sheesh, you guys. <looks around> This IS the Pit, right? Quazzz isn’t in here giving a step-by-step how-to on his(?) plans to kill her, is he?

Rant on, Q! I feel ya.

Stop making so much sense Nutty, you make me want to slap you.

<d&r>

I would advise against slapping the worker bitch. It can only lead to slapping a soldier bitch, and eventually a Queen Bitch. And then you’ll have to say “Get away from her, you bitch.” only you’ll say it kinda wrong and put the emphasis on “her” instead of “bitch” and then it won’t be as funny and she will sting in your face or possibly bite your face.

Yep, I smell a romance brewing.

Ye Gods! A meticulous, detail-oriented, slightly meek person getting a job in a library?!? Say it ain’t so!

I oughta slap alla yez!

** Qazzz ** and red-headed libarian sitting in a tree…

Kay aye ess ess aye en gee

How is she a bitch?

First comes love, then comes erection
Then impregnation in the fiction section