You are a sick man, jayjay. Sick, sick, sick. I may never be able to drink milk again.
Thanks, that was hilarious. 
That’s ALSO by Arrogant Worms
Sorry, I realised after I posted the above that it would only make sense to people who watched UK TV.
Unfortunately www.flingthecow.com has been shut down - probably by cows with guns.
Sigh…Cows give milk. Beef comes from steer.
Naw, my cow died. I don’t need any bull.
Alternatively…
Cows may come and cows may go, but the bull in this place goes on forever.
Cows… they’re what’s for dessert.
Maybe you are a cow
dreaming your a man
wanting to be a cow
Darnit, I knew someone would post to “cause I’m a cow” before me…
Farmer Brown, he’s on crack,
he’s a lactophiliac
It’s all cattle on the inside. 
I’d rather see than be one.
I’m a dyslexic cow. Oom.
Wanna hear my impression of Gregory Peck as a cow?
Moo
Pretty good, huh?
Oh the cow in the meadow goes “moo”
Oh the cow in the meadow goes “moo”
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that’s how we get hamburgers.
Noooowwwww chickens!
And now, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy:
:mad: :mad: MOO! :mad: :mad:
Thank you.
It’s a little known fact that I can actually speak cow. Here’s a haiku I wrote in cow talk.
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Beauoooooootiful, huh?
Woah…deep.
In honor of that, I’ve penned a limerick just for you:
Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo,
moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo.
Moo moo moo moo moo,
moo moo moo moo moo,
moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo!
This last post reminded me of a dream I had recently that was so funny (to me) I woke myself up laughing. I was the manager of an entertainer of some sort. And I was reading this entertainer a fan letter from a cow. It read (and I quote): ‘Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo.’ My translation: ‘you’re doing a great job.’ That’s when I cracked up. YMMV.
This thread also reminds me of my favorite joke:
knock knock.
who’s there?
interrupting cow.
interup-
moo.
Hah! That’s terrific. Although I’ve never herd (hah!) of a cow with a prehensile hoof.
Cow jokes:
Two cows in a field. One cows says to the other, “So … What do you think about this mad cow disease that’s going around?”
Other cow says, “Doesn’t bother me. I’m a chicken.”
What does a mad cow say?
Profanity in spoiler box
FUCKING MOO! FUCK!!
Some beef comes from cows. It’s older meat, so it’s tougher, so cows become ground beef and beef stew. You didn’t think they just buried old Bossy, did you?
All right; I stand informed.