Yeah! One of my most badass dresses from my gothy days was a funky black prom dress that I picked up from Goodwill, that ended up with the sleeves removed (Puffy sleeves = no!), the skirt altered to show the crinoline underneath, and ribbon roses sewn around the neckline. That was before Hot Topic because a presence at every mall.
Your marriage sounds very new, and it sounds not very likely to succeed! (Geez, I’m forthright with a stranger. I apologize.)
I burst into tears laughing my arse off about THAT one,Rogg. CG and I have been married for almost 4 years (it will be our 4 year anniversary on Valentine’s Day this year) and we were together for nearly 3 years before that. I don’t think, after all that time and all the she-ite we’ve been through as a couple that we’re likely to break up any time soon.
Sorry.
To the person who suggested I head into Micheal’s…well I do, on a regular basis for art supplies as I like to draw and paint. I am also gasp thinking about going in there to buy scrap booking supplies for a scrap book I am thinking of doing with some of our old vacation and wedding photos. I have thought about taking up knitting as well (you psychic you!:)) but haven’t ever gotten around to doing it. I try to put up with the queen as best I can and that’s all I can really do. She doesn’t understand me I don’t understand her…I think we should leave it at that.
And NO I don’t plan on getting preggers any time soon…not intentionally anyway. I believe if I am to have little Bad Boys(or Girls) it will happen on the will of the Goddess. If it is not the Goddess’s will, I won’t have them. I’m leaving it up to Her, She knows better than I.
IDBB
Have you read anything that has been posted? It isn’t “all you can really do”. It is possible for people of diverse backgrounds and goals and worldviews to come together, to grow in understanding of each other. If it weren’t, the world would still be broken into little bands of 30 people, constantly warring and exterminating each other. Furthermore, everything we learn when we reach out and seek to accept people who we would not chose to emulate makes us a better person, and, frankly, makes life easier because it shows us that we are not surrounded by weird, hostile forces.
You can chose not to try and understand these people, you can chose to dismiss everything that is important to them as being trivial and shallow and silly. But that’s what you are choosing, it’s by no means the only path avalible. And, IMHO, it’s going to mae the next 50 years a lot more uncomfortable than they have to be.
If nothing else, these people’s DNA is swarming in your husband’s blood. Genetics are funny things–if you do have kids, they may well be more like your MIL than like oyu or your husband (where do you think he came from?) If that’s the case, you’ll love your kids just as fiercely as you would if they were just like you. But you’ll find it a smoother road if you take the time to come to know their grandmother now.
Really, really seriously, if you don’t want kids right now, depend on something with less of a sense of humor than the Goddess. And if you are so ambivilent about it that you are willing to accept Fate, do us the favor of not ranting on the topic.
I’ll have to bow before the mighty MandaJO here and join in the chorus asking you to get over it. The whole goth vs. princess, prep vs. slacker, jock vs. nerd thing ends in high school. It’s not very mature to carry it into your twenties past the zero mark.
I sincerely hope your Goddess buys you birth control. Spirits know mine won’t, the cheapskate.
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I made one of those once! What pattern are you using? Mine was a Stoney Creek Mythical Moments with beading and tweeding. It looks dragon-tastic!
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IDBB
You seem to be willfully ignoring those who are hinting and also outright telling you that you may be just as at fault as your MIL for your strained relationship. Refusing to take any personal responsibility for it and all.
You haven’t responded once to MandaJo who’s been giving very informative and well thought out advice and opinions. That’s not being very mature and is making you look even more at fault for your situation.
Spazcat, I’m using this pattern. I started with doing the outer circle, then doing the center in quarters. I’m almost done with the third quarter!
I also have a plain 28-count ivory linen that I’m going to make my own pattern for, when I’m finished with the dragon. I’m hoping to get a really nice shot of Rivendell or Lothlorien and make a needlepoint out of that.
D’oh, the places on the dragon that look like a dingy grey don’t look like that in real life! For those sections you use a thread of white and a thread of iridescent plastic, very pretty.
OOOH, OOOH, me, me mr. kotter,LOL.
Well, not JUST "going to Michaels, going to Michaels WITH the “craft princesses”.
I think you’ll do fine, I don’t think you truly are feeling “scorn” probably more like insecurity which is coming out SOUNDING like scorn.
Try and relax,
(and do communicate with them).
I too think that part of the problem is that IDBB looks down on her relatives. Of course, even before clicking on this thread I had a feeling that this may be so, based on IDDB’s comments in this thread, where she gave me the impression of being snobbish towards “trendy goths”.
We can all use a little more humility. I should know, as I AM THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE!
Curse my financial situation! Want pattern! Wantwantwantwantwant.
Hm…you’ve given me an idea of what to do for my next next project. (My next project is a Tasha Tudor pattern). Except I’d probably do the Shire.
LOL,I bow humbly.
Okay, so maybe IDBB, you might be a leeeetle bit scornful? BUT, I STILL sense sincerity, and stand by my advice that communication is what the Doctor ordered.
That and there were lots of people other than me touting the “get to know the princesses via crafts” idea.
Okay, so maybe be a bit more open-minded about people different than you. And not so “hipper than thou”???
I still think IDBB is at heart a nice person and isn’t meaning to be “too cool”. I sense a bit of youth and inexperience and that THAT, rather than any real animosity, is the motive for her “snideness”.
But, I could be wrong,it’s been known to happen before,lol
Thanks for laughing, I’m laughing with you.
Do you live in the same town as the in-laws?
Rogg, no we do not. If we lived closer than a 20 min drive I think I"d shoot myself. Luckily for us we live in one backwoods town and they live in another, about 30-45 min away.
And to those who keep saying I should just talk to the princesses…I wouldn’t know what to talk about!
It’s been made clear to me over the years that my views on things clash so badly with theirs if I dare even bring UP something (like my love/loathe of Dubya, my views on birth control…whatever…)that I’d get blasted before I got two sentences out. shrug
IDBB
Have you ever TRIED to have a conversation with them? Or are you just projecting your own ideas of how you think they’ll react onto them?
If you’re not even trying, then you’re just as much at fault as they are. Until you make an actual effort and/or offer some proof (some examples of things they’ve DONE vs. what you THINK is going through their heads, or what you THINK their alterior motives are for otherwise, mundane actions they engage in) then for heavens sake, quit your bitching.
Get off your gothic high horse and make some effort. Frankly, you sound pretty damn hard to please.
oh, and do you have an example of how they blasted you for daring to speak views that conflicted with their own, or is that just in your head as well?
I. for one, am not suggesting that you “just talk” to them–I am suggesting that you find something in them to admire, that you stop thinking you are better than them just becasue you are different. That you try to learn and appriciate their views on things, not just concentrate on how they would react to your views. I suspect that if you did this, you might find things to talk to them about without struggling.
And, as has been pointed out, you have one major thing in common with them–you all think that your husband is fan-fucking-tastic. That’s a lot to talk about right there. My god, if there views on everything else are so wrong, how’d they happen to have the correct views on him?
When talking to my conservative family members, I try to steer conversation away from topics such as religion & politics, simply because I know that my views clash so harshly with theirs that any conversation would turn into a debate. I don’t hesitate to tell them if something they say offends me (For example, my dad made some comment about “these two faggots” at Thanksgiving when I was down, and I just said “Faggots? Don’t you mean ‘these two gay guys’ dad?” It got my point across, without making me look like a comlete bitch, and caused him to be at least a little embarassed, since there were others in the room when I corrected him.), but I don’t go out of my way to start conversations where I know that will happen.
It seems like you already have your mind made up to hate them, because they’re not like you. If that is your mindset, then why do you expect them to accept your differences? It works both ways.
After reading that thread and this one and a few others, I have to agree with the consensous that you have a chip on your shoulder.
Those two threads 9this and the punk wanna be ones) are pretty interesting:
On one hand you critize those that cop ‘your’ style.
Then you critize your in-laws for being true to themselves.
I mean, it seems like if your mom in law suddenly started to take an interest in ‘your’ stuff, she’d just be a silly posser anyway.
heh, your way, no one wins. Awesome muturity!
Here’s my take on it:
in regards to the possers: why do you care? honestly? I grew up in the eighties, I was a total new waver. Now kids are listening to ‘my’ music’ and wearing ‘my’ style. So? that doesn’t take a thing away from my enjoyment. It doesn’t take away from my memories. So what if they want to color their hair and attend prep schools? So what if they want to listen to Numan while shopping at macy’s? Who cares?
Which leads me to your in-laws.
Who cares if your mom-in-law is into Michaels?
My best friend is completely into the country craft look. She has totally immersed herself into the craft malls, etc. This is miles away from my personal tastes. But you see, it DOESN’T MATTER. I like her for who she is. We can laugh at the stuff that we do have in common. When I go visit her, we do the craft mall thing, when she comes here, we go on the mueum circuit. see? It’s called give and take.
I just think you are determined to dislike your mom-in-law. I honestly don’t think there is anything she can do to please you.
In recalling my 80’s sensibilities, i shall quote from pretty in pink:
Andy: If you hate rich people for being rich, then it’s no better than them hating poor people.
get over yourself already. You may just find up your mom-in-law is a nice person.
Maybe you can just stamp the cards and do whatever, and be polite to your in-laws for a few hours. Seems to me that a few hours of suffering a couple times of year would eliminate tons of heartache later on. Of course, since you posted this here, instead of taking it out on the in-laws, it seems like you’ve already done this and you deserve your vent.
Hope it went as well as can maybe be expected.