As a fellow Texan who hates the Cowboys, I will help in any way possible. You need a groomsman, I’m there. You need somebody to take pictures. I’m there. You need somebody to supply the beer. I’ll steal JimB’s wallet and I’m there.
All you need do is ask.
1- Flip a coin, or whoever got to stay in bed last time.
2- Since I’ll be a very busy person and successful artist, I will demand that they visit us half the time.
3- Pay the virtual electric bill [that one’s a given, electricity runs the virtual heater, the virtual tv, the virtual fridge, the virtual microwave, and the virtual oven], and get new virtual tires for the virtual car [what good are are new virtual shoes if the virtual kids die when the virtual car careens off the virtual road into a virtual utility pole?]. Safety before comfort.
4- whomever wanted/bought/is primary caregiver of the virtual dog.
I know you’re heartbroken, Silver_Fire, but try to contain your underwhelming grief.
The baby will not cry . . . s/he will be so happy to be living with us that s/he will only smile.
I’ll visit my parents, she can visit hers if she so chooses.
As you don’t know our virtual financial situation, you don’t know that this is, in fact, inpossible. But if it were possible, the electricity bill and kids’ shoes comes before tires to my virtual car.
The dog.
What, you don’t like me just because my team’s better’n yours?
[aside]hey, Aglarond, how much would it cost for you to . . . nah, nevermind, I think I can handle Jim B.[/aside]
Yea!
I don’t need to wear shoes. (Good lady you got there punha)
Dire Wolf is stripping (purrrr…)
This is going to be wonderful!
Can I be a bridesmaid? I want an excuse to buy that hot topic dress! They are overpriced, but it’s such a pretty dress. And then I could wear my fishnets under it. 
hypergirl, although this is overstepping my bounds a bit, I think Palmyra said somewhere earlier that by virtue of asking you could be one.
MC: Yes . . . this is another reason I asked her to marry me:)
BTW, I have a picture of that dress on a disk, so anyone who wants to look at it, get on AIM or email me and I’ll send it along. Palmyra just sent it to me . . . and I literally drooled.
of course you can!! but i get to wear the white lace Hot Topic dress!
Jess: I found your dress on hottopic.com. Email or AIM me and I’ll send it along.
Ag, don’t strain very much when you lift my wallet, it’s so light, it’ll go flying across the room. Although, there is usually enough in it for enormous quanities of beer.
iampunha, listen kid, I’m the vitual father of the bride. You’ve got me to deal with FOREVER!! If you want to be a Redskins fan, you just better keep that part of your life very quiet around me. Now if you want to be, maybe, a Vikings fan, I can live with that. A Rams fan, well maybe? I even lived with a Giants fan for 12 years and didn’t kick her out.
So, you just better re-think your position here, kid.
Jim
(originally posted to Doobieous/Silver Fire)
As you people know, we suffered from a scarcity of dancers for the bachelor/bachelorette parties. Might I propose partygoers ask for the terpsichorean talents of other Dopers ? Nominations?
Wait a second, did I get an answer yet?
<hopping up and down>
I wanna play too!
::ahem::
By the looks of your answers on the survey, it looks like you guys have some serious issues to work out between you.
Therefore, I deem you completely ready to be virtually married!
After all, if we fix all the problems in pre-virtual-marriage counseling, what in the world are you going to fight about after you get hitched?
BTW, did you find a house? Did you even look at the one I suggested?
I looked at the house. very lovely. should be perfect for a least three years.
Hey Jim. If it makes you feel any better, you’re welcome to all the beer you can drink. Nothing like a drunken virtual father to give away the bride. Moments like that are why God invented video recorders.
I looked at the house. If we’re going to have any virtual kids, we probably want to put a virtual dark rug in there. And get a virtual swingset and a couple of virtual bicycles.
Jester, my friend . . . you want best man, you got it.
Bump. Tonight is the night.
[hijack]
Hmmm… maybe it differs from location to location, but the Hot Topic in the mall nearest me, is more of a punk store. That’s why it’s my 2nd favorite store. Plus it has all those bitchin’ punk compilations (thats where I got all my Punk-o-rama CD’s), and an excellent CD rack. A lot of good stuff there.[/hijack]
Hot Topic here is a goth store and doesn’t sell CDs
I think the virtual bride is at a Dope Fest in Texas. Was it also her birthday yesterday? iampunha, maybe you should reschedule.
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