Admit it though - “If your god is evil enough to damn me, then it deserves to be spit on!” is a snappy comeback.
It would doubtlessly go over great with the folks.
No, I’ve had enough mental masturbation for the day. You fucking militant atheists need to get over yourselves already. You are not smarter, wiser, better informed, morally superior, or otherwise commendable for being an atheist. I’m an atheist, too, but I’m polite about it.
Now, I’m going to go play WoW. You can keep stroking your epeen or you can go to Hell. Either is fine with me.
Amen!
It’s not polite to allow someone to tell you what to do based on a delusion. It’s weak.
Not that I don’t have my share of weaknesses, but this just isn’t one of them. 
Haha, when I told my Grandparents I was a Buddhist, my Grandpa said, ‘‘I happen to know something about Buddhists.’’
‘’…Yeah?’’
‘‘They iron their grandfathers’ shirts. You didn’t know that?’’
Your Mother is disappointed that you’re not her ideological (religious) clone. You’re disappointed that she’s not your ideological (rationality) clone. That’s a lot of disappointment, there. I feel for you. Sometimes the stupid, it burns. (And that’s a slam on anti- or irrationality, not on religion, particularly.)
But the gap and the pain will be half as wide if one of you could cut the other some slack and let loose of their disappointment. And you only have control of your half of it.
I was going to say that forgiveness benefits the forgivee. But then I thought of you replying to your Mother’s comments with “I forgive you for that”, and I thought that sounded just a bit passive agressive, although hilarious. Nobody likes to be forgiven with both barrels. So I’ll think about that last bit and get back to you.
Yikes, that sucks. I’ve had to have the same conversation with my mother who isn’t as rabidly religious as yous, but fairly close. What finally worked was the following statement, delivered neutrally and honestly.
Listen Mum, I love you to death, but we aren’t going to agree here. I know that this bother’s you but the simple fact is that religion is a personal choice, and my position on it is no better or correct than anyone else’s including yours. I don’t expect you to accept or condone my beliefs or lack therof but I DO expect you to extend the common courtesy and respect that you offer to anyone else you must deal with in life. This is the last time I’m going to talk about this issue and if you bring it up further i’m not going to respond. I love you and want you to be a part of my life ; but this thing is not something you can badger, nag, or guilt me into regardless of your intentions. If you keep it up you are going to drive me away and I don’t want that, so let’s just avoid that issue and concentrate on what’s important, being a family together.
Things have been pretty good since, she still tosses in the occasional mention or remark, but it’s nothing that I can’t ignore. We’ve all been a lot happier.
So… you punched her out, right?
If I were an atheist, I sure as hell wouldn’t tell my parents. It would seriously hurt them, not because I disagree with them…I do that on a lot of things, but the whole hell thing is very real to them. Maybe they are delusional, or old fashioned, but they aren’t going to change and they’ve sacrificed a lot for me, and put up with so much of my bullshit over the years I have no desire to cause them that kind of anguish.
That said, I am a Christian, so I’m biased. But there’s a lot of things I did that would hurt them if they knew, and I don’t bring it up. Things I might joke about with my friends.
I’m just not that insecure that I have to make a big deal out of it and rub their noses in it. Parents don’t need to know everything about their adult kids.
I agree with other sher; you aren’t going to change her views, so you need to just learn to ignore this from her, or learn how to change the subject when this comes up. It won’t change her mind, or yours, but will make your interactions much more pleasant.
Of course, if she insists on the martyrdom of “emotional self-flagellation”, tell her “I would have turned out a decent Christian man if only you had raised me right!”
Not that I know of, but dad did get around. Was your mom kind of loose about 30-50 years ago?
-Joe
The mandatory XKCD.
It’s a difficult situation to be in. When I left the Church as a teenager, it was a terribly big deal, and I wasn’t (at that time) even an atheist. I hadn’t intended to tell them, but basically I didn’t want to lie either. Super religious people have a way of just sort of assuming their world view and pressuring you into agreeing, and when I finally stopped feeding into that – even without an alternate view being presented – my parents flipped out. I felt bad since it was clearly breaking my mom’s heart and that wasn’t my intention, but I didn’t feel like I could sustain the lie, either.
Fortunately, for me, it worked out in the long run. My parents got divorced (thank goodness - seriously), I don’t see my dad and my mom got over the super-religious thing. This was mostly due to the divorce, I think, since my dad kept carping on the ‘obedient Christian wife’ line of thinking, but not so much the, you know, love and cherish your wife thing. Oh, and then my mom’s pastor retired, and new one kept giving fire and brimstone sermons about the evils of divorce during my mom’s divorce, and made no secret what he thought about it. So that probably helped too; she’s a lot more mellow about the religious thing anymore. Having talked to her, I think she realizes more shades of gray now than she did before, and it really hurt her to be the object of religious judgement.
I don’t really talk about my lack of religious views around my family much, but they’re not a secret, either – I put my religion as atheist on Facebook. They’re all pretty much still Christian, but don’t go to church. I imagine my sisters will once they have kids, and I don’t really care either way. I liked church when I was a kid, anyway. I just love and care about them, and we have plenty of things to talk about that aren’t going to cause raw feelings.
The thing you have to do is out-crazy your mom.
If she claims she’s hearing the Voice of God, tell her you hear it too, but it says something else.
If she claims her god is the right one, tell her that’s just what your god wants her to think.
I’m assuming she doesn’t believe in evolution, fossils, or a heliocentric solar system. Tell her those are just tests your god put there to test her faith.
Umm…
So you think I should have deceived my mother by allowing her to go on thinking that I share her delusion? :eek:
How would that be very “Christian” of you? I thought y’all were all 'bout the thou-shalt-not-lie stuff? :dubious:
Further, where do you get off in thinking that I have “rubbed my mom’s nose” in ANYTHING? SHE is the one who initiates these discussions, knowing full well how I’m going to respond.
I’m “insecure”? Whatever. :rolleyes: Go back to your myth-reading/snake-handling and let the adults discuss this, Jesus boy.
I have concluded, based upon the good counsel here of many Dopers, simply never to let my mother get my goat again, along these lines.
Next time she starts in on this my-soul-aches-for-you horseshit, I’m literally just going to smile, nod, and say, “That’s nice, mother,” (or whatever the Internet version of that might be). Y’all are right; better just not to go there with her.
Thanks.
I’d rather have been FLAYED ALIVE and had to drink lukewarm Postum than read this thread.
Tell her Satan put that there to trick us. I’ve actually heard people say that.
Am I the only one posting here that’s in the situation of being a Fundie Dad with an Atheist son? Maybe I should start an “Ask the…” thread.
Oops–gotta run. More later.
Hi, guys, I got back as quick as I could.
But without much to add, because I think your mom’s a whack job.
Unfortunately, she’s found a faith that encourages that.
Ok, to be fair, I’ll say it encourages the “I’m responsible for your eternal soul, and if you don’t believe all the right things (which coincidentally are all the things that we, our church, and our not-particularly-well-rounded pastor believe), you’re going to be tortured forever… and it’ll be all my fault.”
Now, we have a rule with my parents to not bring up religion or politics (they actually thought Reagan was too “pinko”–their technical term). But our kids are more than willing to rant about both topics, knowing they’ll get an audience.
Just the other day, Atheist Kid breezes in for dinner and starts with “Christianity has GOT to be The Most! Fúcked Up! Religion! Ever! I mean, how many wars have been started by the followers of the Prince of Peace? Is that fûcked or what?” And I agreed with him (and tossed the f-word into my answer, of course), and we were off. We hit some New Testament and Bishop Tutu, a few tenets of Hinduism, the Upanishads, Penn Gillette, How The Hell Can There Be Wars Between Buddhist Nations, Jack Kerouac, David Cross, and, unexpectedly, that Inquisition… in Spain.
And it worked, because he knew that we think his experience is as important as ours, and that we’ll learn as much as he does when he “drops a rant on us”. The only time I play the Fundie card is when I end with “Sorry, can’t help throwing this in… but, when you say God doesn’t exist? You’re wrong. Just thought you’d want to know.” And he rolls his eyes.
Cyningablod, I feel for you (maybe I’ll pray for you, just to piss you off :})The “simply never let my mother get my goat again” is a great strategy. I wish you could explain to her that it’s not her responsibility, and that most Christians would say that you’re not damned (that’d be quite the surprise to a Fundie), and that she’d be happier if she could let it go. In fact, I wish a therapist could say that to her.
But, that’d come under the heading of you trying to change her, and you’re trying to get past that. So forget it. Just make a “no religion or politics” rule, and try to find topics you can be positive with her about. I sometimes even make a list before I call my mom, so that I’m sure to have something to distract her with.
*“Oh, dear, did you get my email about Osam–I mean Obama’s Witch’s Sabbath in the Oval Off–” *
“Oh, mom! Did you hear about the new Crate and Barrel going into your mall? It’s an outlet.”
“It IS? An outlet? Well, I’ll just have to tell the ladies in my book group. Oh, I just have to tell you about this Maeve Binchy book we’re re-reading…”