This is not a great debate, but more of an opinion Q so I am placing it here.
If a women gives birth to baby with a cleft palate, huge ears, and a club foot and the husband had surgery to correct these abnormalities in himself, but did not tell her, is he betraying her trust?
If a remarkable homely women pre-surgery (but now attractive) , has a remarkably homely baby that has her original features, has the husband been betrayed in any fashion if she did not let him know how she originally looked?
In general, if a man or women marries an attractive person, who (without telling the spouse) has had extensive plastic and dental surgery, to turn then from an ugly duckling into a swan, and this marriage produces a homely child who looks a lot like the ugly duckling spouse pre-surgery, does the non-surgically altered spouse have any moral or ethical basis to feel betrayed if they find out?
One of the girls I went to high school with had a nose job that changed her large, typically-known-as-Jewish nose into a more petite, cute model, but in my mind the nose has always looked wrong on her face. Probably because I only see her once every five years. I’m sure it looks fine to others. But I’ve often wondered how and when she told her husband about it. He of course would notice from seeing photos of her from her childhood, or from looking at her mom. I’ve never seen her kids, but sometimes I wonder if they got her nose and if her husband was a little surprised.
welp… my opinion… (what else would it be in Humble Opinion thread!!!)
external beauty is too much of a crap shoot to say anyone was “conned” when a child isn’t a beauty contestant-model… besides half of of those genes came from HIM!
now to the deeper issue… if he WAS conned it means he married her based solely on her looks (which she had had altered to meet societies’ unrealistic expectations)… and if they have the fugliest damn kids to ever walk the planet it serves the bastard right! The only drawback to that is that the SOB will most likely never accept the kids and give them the love and attention that they need and deserve.
society and the world both suck.
again… that’s just what I think… I could be wrong. (I’m not)
ARe you kidding? MAn, they come out with blood all over them no hair and pudgy faces. The chineese dude should have waited to see what it looked like in about 6 months.
::now lowblow runs away to avoid the stones being thrown by the women on this board::
Both men and women, often quite deliberately make mate selection choices based in part (sometimes in large part) on looks, and there are some scientists who believe that this is wired into the primate brain at a fairly fundamental level, as good looking people are usually more genetically “fit” in terms of having fewer diseases and abnormalities on average
If a person has created the illusion of being attractive and/or physical defect free, and does not give the partner notice of this fact until after the fact of a child’s birth, are they being fair to the shallow, but genetically practical, partner?
Woman here, and my bemused reaction to the article quoted was “how could he tell that particular baby was ugly? They’re all pretty much… eh.” But then I don’t have much of a maternal instinct, and while all babies have that whole baby-adorableness to them, they’re still for the most part homely to me. This is not to say that every parent isn’t entitled to think their baby is the most beautiful thing ever. That seems to come with the territory (and having been present for a birth, I can kind of see how, because something takes over when you see that little newborn.)
On the one hand, this is a pretty flimsy excuse for a divorce, IMHO (how does one define “ugly”, legally?). OTOH, if and when I get married and start having kids, my wife will know that I was born horribly nearsighted and got laser eye surgery. It’s only fair.
I loved my babies dearly and thought they were wonderful, but only the first one looked cute when new. And even he was all waterlogged and mushy looking for the first week. The others got cute about when they learned to crawl. Objectively speaking.
Well objectively I’d have to say that some of those babies aren’t that bad. Their not snuggly cute, but then most of them look pretty new and newborn babies look odd.
C’mon how good would you look after you’ve been squeezed out of a not very big hole?
My guy actually looked not too bad when he was first born. Probably because he wasn’t very big and I’m tall with those child bearing hips. I’d say mine is pretty cute, I’ve seen some much cuter babies though and some admittedly quite non-cute ones.
i’m not terribly wild about (human) babies. most look fairly unappealing to me at the best of times. (but i just loved those baby raccoons on that site!) so i’ll leave that part of the question for people who care.
having said that: regarding any guy marrying a woman (who had surgery and later produced an “ugly” baby) having been conned… genetics are still a crap-shoot, dude. half of the product is yours, half is hers. even if you marry an unsurgical goddess, there is ABSOLUTELY NO GUARANTEE that all offspring will automatically be beautiful. your genes plus hers may spell “disaster” (regardless of the apparently quality on her side), no matter what. thems the breaks. deal.
i WOULD have issues, though, if the guy had some major birth defects that had been corrected, and he never mentioned that little item during the 9-month waiting period for the second edition. that’s more an actual health concern, rather than just “looks”. not that i know of any treatment or care that is yet able to fend off clubfoot or a cleft palate pre-partum. but knowing the kid may need special care and medical attention once it’s actually there would be a nice heads-up.
I’d have to agree with lachesis post, with the exception of the first two lines (so I guess I’m one “who cares” - lol).
I don’t have (or want) babies, but I LOVE them all!! I think every baby in that link was cute! There were a couple with some “slightly off” features but THEY ARE BABIES! I might have seen some “funny looking” ones over the years - - but for the most part, to me, all babies are cute!!
Babies make me smile; even so-called “ugly” babies.