This. Please, this.*
*NSA, please be sure to spell my name right.
I graciously request you allow a minor high-jack that can potentially resolve a lot of conflict in my personal life:
INSTEAD of speaking to the Dotard directly, let me rephrase the same question:
If you had one thing to say to a very close and important loved one/family member who cannot see past their own anger, fear, prejudices, but mostly, fear, who feel there is no option but to support Trump, what would you concisely say?
“Trump is the living embodiment of all 7 of the Deadly Sins. He is an unrepentant serial adulterer who displays loyalty to no one and nothing. He espouses no virtues, no values, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, has no platform, no plan, and has hijacked the Republican party without upholding any of the values the GOP pretends to care about. What decisions does he make out of kindness, or empathy, or love? How can a godless, soulless person who only employs cronies, sycophants and criminals ever do what’s right? And how can you pretend YOU uphold any values and contort yourself into still supporting him?”
That’s all I go, but it’s not good and not what needs to be said. I can’t find the words.
Maybe you guys are better…?
The one thing he would understand and pay attention to: I would barf in his lap.
@Dr.Colossus Why don’t you open a separate thread for that. It sounds like an interesting topic.
I am fairly certain that Trump has zero fucks to give about anyone or their opinion. My options are to refuse, because what’s the point, or to mock him for my allotted time, solely for my own amusement. Do you think I’d lose karma points for that?
I second another thread for that… Good idea.
I’ve been thinking of starting a GoFundMe to pay some newsperson who’s retiring anyway to ask him, “Dude, are you high right now?” after one of his idiot statements.
It would probably be something like:
Mr. President, I know that you’re a man who knows how to make a deal and come out on top. Well, I’ve got the inside scoop on a zero-risk opportunity that’ll boost your standing on the Forbes billionaires list and put your q-rating through the roof.
There’s a sweet little island that has a lot of potential for development. The island is sparsely populated, and the people that do live there don’t know the gold mine that they’re sitting on. The island has vast potential and is ripe for development. It’s not hard to picture an exclusive resort complex with ocean views, a world-class golf course, and luxury high-rises springing up from the lush landscape.
Even better, there are already some highly-interested investors lined up who have the funds to make this happen, but need a brand name to give this project the cachet that it needs to get it off the ground. That’s where you come in.
If you can open a small spot in your schedule for a surprise visit to the island to dazzle the local officials, we can begin construction almost immediately. Just to add a little razzle-dazzle, let’s include Mr. Pence and your children to the delegation. The locals will be impressed, and it’s not like it’s going to be on your dime, right? You should probably leave Barron behind since this would be a real snooze-fest for a boy his age.
Anyway, you’ve got to get in on this deal quickly. Other interests have been sniffing around and I don’t think this will be in play for very long. This all has to be hush-hush. Just get everybody together ASAP and have them ready to go first thing tomorrow. No need to pack up for a long visit since you’ll just be doing a quick appearance to get everyone fired up for this thing. No advanced prep is needed, either. Just a few quick stops to transfer from Air Force to one of our naval ships in the region, then a quick jaunt to the island on a couple of zodiac boats for dramatic effect. It’ll be fun for everyone! Tell Mr. Pence to pack some bibles to give out as gifts. They really have a thing for that over there.
“Trump Utopia on North Sentinel Island”. How can you lose?
And it’ll be a lot cheaper than Greenland!
Shit! Maybe you should be pitching this…
“Be sure to bring that bible you held in front of St. John’s Church. That’ll really get the natives excited!”
What forum? Here in the pit, or Great Debates? Surely too controversial and “IMHO” for Elections (maybe in IMHO?)
IMHO or The Pit, I think 
Never mind. If it’s a thread that I’m going to be in that involves Trump, I’m going to want to say swears. So I said pit.
Technically it’s probably better for IMHO.
You were born with hundreds of millions of dollars, connections, reasonably good looks, tall, charming. You could have been anything. Yet, you ended up choosing to be this pathetic thing chasing the endorphin rush of praise decades after the father that made you this way is in the ground. Sneering unearned arrogance, and riding the shrill edge of panic that someone will realize how empty and worthless you are.
I fucking pity you. I mean, not as much as I pity Melania.
There are some GREAT replies in there! It’s hard to top them.
Given that Trump won’t bother listening unless it is outrageous flattery, I would say three things, each of them in two parts.
“Congratulations, Donald, you’ll go down in history!”
“As the worst US president of all time, By a wide margin. Congratulations!”
He may be forced to listen, but that won’t stop him pouting.
Next up, also in two parts with a significant pause:
“Donald, you are an amazing businessman!”
By now he may have figured that I am not on his side.
“How did you manage to run through a huge inheritance and lose money running a $$$$ing casino?”
Once the apoplectic look on his face subsides, I then say:
“Mr president, I have a very valuable piece of advice for your post-presidential career.”
By now he may have figured out that I am making fun of him, and waits apprehensively for the kicker.
“Don’t drop the soap.”
Die you fat bald fuck.
What’s wrong with being balled and fat?
Is being president really worth all the pussy you are giving up? You can end that, you know.
He’ll just stare at the glass in his hand. It will be filled with something expensive with ice cubes in it. He’ll purse his lips at intervals and maybe do a couple nods… but over all he is totally ignoring you. The difference between that and shouting at him is that he’ll walk away if you shout at him, and if you don’t he might shake your hand before he leaves.
His hand feels slimy, like you are holding the tail of a trout. Keep in mind that no matter how much sense you made, he didn’t listen to you at all.
“A lot of people” say he is an Asshole.
Those people are right.
His wife isn’t in the White House. She lives in Maryland with her parents and Barron. Maybe her sister, too. Dunno.