[QUOTE=zuma]
I’d say fucking 10 guys is borderline slut. 15 is full slut. That’s just me.
[/QUOTE]
What if a guy fucks 10 girls, or 15?
A woman who behaves like a man is a bitch.
A woman who behaves like a man sexually is a slut.
Nobody should use either term unless they use them equally for men and women.
[QUOTE=zuma]
I’d say fucking 10 guys is borderline slut. 15 is full slut. That’s just me.
[/QUOTE]
This is BAD news. I’ve only had one partner the past two years (bf) but oh man I caused some damage before that. (about to turn 24…sexually active since age 15) Was it the all girls school? Is it my generation? Or was I just born to the be Governor of Slutsylvania. I’ll let you know when the results are back from the lab.
Doesn’t anyone get drunk and accidentally have sex with people anymore?
[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
Doesn’t anyone get drunk and accidentally have sex with people anymore?
[/QUOTE]
(Checks recent Doper pic thread) Are you looking for a volunteer? 
[QUOTE=AHunter3]
I would be proud of my niece if she hit 3 digits’ worth, if the guys she did were her idea or at least were quite appealing petitioners, and she was doing them for her own reasons.
[/QUOTE]
I can’t imagine a scenario where I would actually be proud of my niece if she slept with over 100 guys. Non-judgemental is one thing. But proud?!?
Possibly even jealous. I’m not sure I’d like to bed 100 women, but I’m not at all sure I wouldn’t, either.
Maybe I could start in increments of a dozen and could feel free to say “enough” at any point?
I’m mostly a non-slut for reasons other than insufficient prurient interest. If it weren’t for the “jumping through hoops and humiliating myself and irritating lots of nice women” part, I could acquire true enthusiasm.
Yes, if she could do 100 guys without doing so as a doormat / doing it for other folks’ reasons / being made to feel like shit, and had a good time and the guys were nice fucks, I’d be thinking “yeah, girl, you rock”.
So…uh…for research purposes…where is and how much is airfare to Slutsylvania?
[QUOTE=twickster]
At what age? 20? 40? 60?
[/QUOTE]
If you are going to be sexually active only with marriage and treat marriage as a sacred commitment - you might be lucky enough to have a single partner. (and that is cool). Even then though, sometimes you are thrown for a loop - sometimes you don’t have a choice in widowhood or even divorce. So maybe two and possibly three before you die - unless you are terribly unlikely and outlive several spouses.
Once you go for the “sex outside marriage is OK” - your numbers over your lifetime are likely going to skew - even if you aren’t big on casual sex - unless you get married fairly early. Lets say you have a rule that you never have sex with someone for the first three months (which - once you reach a certain age, seems completely ridiculous). You aren’t lucky enough to find Mr./Ms. Right - so you date from the time you are 18 to the time you are 70 when you drop dead. Without finding Mr./Ms. Right - you are likely to have well over 10 partners in 50 years.
At some point “who were you sleeping with in 1974” doesn’t seem really relevant. At some point its “how in the hell am I supposed to remember!”
I ran into a friend recently - a woman of around 60 who never married. She said “I never planned not to get married - I thought that like all girls my age I’d be married at 23 for sure…it just never worked out that way.” I have no clue what her sex life has been like - not my business - but I’m sure not calling a sixty year old woman who was never married a slut if it happens she’s been intimate with more than ten people over the past 40 years.
[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
Doesn’t anyone get drunk and accidentally have sex with people anymore?
[/QUOTE]
I think we talked about that a few threads ago.
The most important thing to remember, or one of those, anyway, is that you don’t owe anyone an explanation of your past, and they don’t owe you one. A lot of people seem to forget that their partners had lives before they met.
I’ve only been with 3 guys in my lifetime (I’m almost 40 and talking about actual penetration – if the criteria was other stuff besides that, I shudder even considering the numbers) and I have no trouble confessing that LOTS of issues were involved with the numbers being so low. So, if I had to do it all over again or could change my status now? You bet your sweet bippy that I’d have no problem bedding more men. I wouldn’t consider my (or anyone’s behavior) slutty if the attitude was healthy; like not having any hand-ups and acting responsibly. Overall, I agree with others that if you’re having sex for the wrong reasons (IE: everyone else is doing it, to feel loved / popular / not left out, to prove a point), that would more constitute a negative opinion than a tally.
[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
…Was it the all girls school? Is it my generation? Or was I just born to the be Governor of Slutsylvania…
[/quote]
Maybe it’s because you’re smoking hot. Guys usually like having sex with smoking hot women; there was a recent scientific study proving this.
Ah, the scientific process…
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever]
So…uh…for research purposes…where is and how much is airfare to Slutsylvania?
[/QUOTE]
Airtran has a deal going right now for $150 round trip. The catch is that you have to wear something like this to board.
[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
Doesn’t anyone get drunk and accidentally have sex with people anymore?
[/QUOTE]
Are you planning on attending any DopeFests anytime soon?
Oh god the beer doctor picture. I didn’t consider that would get linked to this thread. Looks like I’m never running for public office (outside of my position as governor of sunny Slutsylvania) But yes do come visit! Here in Slutsylvania, every night is a weekend night. The girls are always drunk and no cheesy joke goes unlaughed at, no hair goes unflipped, no eyelash unbatted. The skirts are never too short stilettos never too high. Unlike our rival neighbors in Trampsachussetts, we’re a clean educated people. We’ve outlawed top 40 rap music, wifebeaters, gold chains, internet smilies and sandals on men. Additionally, due to elevation, irony does not exist in Slutsylvania so please leave your “I had a ball at Frank and Deborah’s Wedding” thrift store t-shirt at home. Don’t forget to pack clean, pressed, clothing, sunscreen, a copy of your medical records and your last pay stub.
OP checking back in
As I tried to convey in post #1, I don’t think this is an “Oh my God, I’ve had too much sex” issue; it’s more of a “Am I some kind of failure if I my sex-partner to significant-other ratio is so disparate?” That may be why an arbitrary numbering system comes into play.
For me the issue was most succinctly stated by (God help me its true) Blanche on the Golden Girls, who scolded her niece with “I’ve been with a lot of men, but that was because I liked them, not because I wanted them to like me.” This pretty much summed up whatever it was that I more vaguely remember Alistair Cooke writing in a 1960’s essay on the mistake young people make by believing sex is a value unto itself, but in 3,000 fewer words.
As far as who uses the word “slut” more, men or women: IME boys at the onset of puberty use it viciously and more frequently than the girls, but women keep using it years after the boys have gotten a better handle on their own sexuality.
Especially since guys hate it when they come up against “I only have nine throw-aways, and I don’t want to waste one on you (I’m saving number nine for the stripper at my bachelorette party)” 
I’ve always defined slut as someone who’s promiscuous and doesn’t know why. Sounds silly, but really there are people (I’m being gender neutral on purpose) who basically go around, and at the end of the night apparently sort of think to themselves… “oh I’m with this person at the end of the night, guess i’ll have sex with them!” but aren’t really in to the act. (har har)
On the other hand I have no problem with people who really enjoy sex and have it regularly, so long as they are safe about it.
[QUOTE=enigm4tic]
I’ve always defined slut as someone who’s promiscuous and doesn’t know why. Sounds silly, but really there are people (I’m being gender neutral on purpose) who basically go around, and at the end of the night apparently sort of think to themselves… “oh I’m with this person at the end of the night, guess i’ll have sex with them!” but aren’t really in to the act. (har har)
On the other hand I have no problem with people who really enjoy sex and have it regularly, so long as they are safe about it.
[/QUOTE]
Your definition doesn’t sound silly at all. Slut is a state of mind, only an individual can define it for themselves.
Me? I’ve had plenty of experience, no shame and only one or two regrets.
My SO has never asked me for my # and this is the best relationship I’ve ever had. I get a feeling that my # may be higher than his, maybe by just a little 
.
[QUOTE=Cattitude]
Your definition doesn’t sound silly at all. Slut is a state of mind, only an individual can define it for themselves.
[/QUOTE]
Agreed. I have a friend who considers herself ‘slutty,’ though shes only slept with one person in eight years.
[QUOTE=H3Knuckles]
I think timeframe is fairly important in this regard, such as:
“10 guys in one lifetime?” no, that’s fine.
“10 guys in 10 years?” meh, not so bad, I guess. Could stand to be a little more cautious about things, though.
“10 guys in less than 5 years?” getting kind of trampy, there.
“10 guys in 3 years or less?” welcome to slutsville, population you.
Also, context is important. If a woman’s been with many men, but they’ve all been fairly long-term relationships, it’s not a big deal. If a woman has had several one-night-stands, that’s pretty ho-bag. A history of cheating is also a pretty good indicator.
And yes, I feel this works in reverse (as in, for men) as well. I’m an equal-opportunity accuser.
Of course, your mileage may vary.
[/QUOTE]
I somehow missed this post earlier, and I have to ask…
“More cautious” about what? One guy every 3.5 months is “slutsville”? And having one night stands makes one a “ho-bag”?
What’s the difference between fucking 10 people or a hundred? Either you believe that sex is a sacred bond between people who’ve mated for life (in which case more than one is too many), or you don’t, in which case the numbers shouldn’t matter. For the love of god, penises and vaginas do not wear out. They do not become inherently less valuable with use. Sex is, as far as I am concerned, playtime for grownups, and I don’t see what’s wrong with having lots of playmates.
I’m with you on the cheating, but as long as everyone is honest and careful, I don’t see what’s wrong with having all the sex I want, with anyone I like, for no reason other than because I feel like it.
[QUOTE=DianaG]
…What’s the difference between fucking 10 people or a hundred? Either you believe that sex is a sacred bond between people who’ve mated for life (in which case more than one is too many), or you don’t, in which case the numbers shouldn’t matter. For the love of god, penises and vaginas do not wear out. They do not become inherently less valuable with use. Sex is, as far as I am concerned, playtime for grownups, and I don’t see what’s wrong with having lots of playmates…
[/QUOTE]
I agree. This goes along with what I was thinking earlier. Screwing ten guys doesn’t make one a slut. Being a slut make one a slut.
I have no problem not sleeping with someone. This is why I’m not a slut.