come sit next to me.
early to bed, early to rise…
Dammit.
…punch the weakest one.
…point the super-soaker full of tequila.
OK, are we all up to date?
If you have nothing good to say…
…become a talk radio host.
Don’t count your chickens…
…count the eggs instead.
If wishes were horses…
I’d need a really big shovel.
Red at night, sailors’ delight…
If beggars were wishes, then horses could ride.
A fool and his money…
Red in the morning, see a health care professional, especially if accompanied by swelling or irritation.
…You must be John Kerry
… are invited everywhere.
I think we’re caught up now.
The meek shall inherit the earth…
um… thanks.
Children should be...…thankful they don’t have hair growing out of their ears.
Variety is…
Something that drives me crazy.
If at first you don’t succeed…
cover up all evidence that you ever tried in the first place.
The early bird…
…gets a shoe to the head if it doesn’t shut the hell up!
oops,
You can lead a horse to water,
but you’d be better off just getting a boat or something because horses don’t float.
Slow and steady…
…is still “taking it too fast” for a Necrophiliac.
Fortune favors…
…the house, please hand over your money.
Life is like a box of…