that just means you’re pretty much like most everybody else.
“A word to the wise…”
is unnecessary, it’s the stupid ones that need advice.
Do unto others…
…then split the classic response
When the going gets tough…
…the tough go to lunch.
There are no athiests in…
chew some Ex-Lax [sup]TM[/sup]
“Success is 99%…”
if you’re an underachiever.
A rolling stone…
. . . is really, really hard to balance on.
He who hesitates . . .
forgets what he was doing.
The apple doesn’t fall …
…without making a nasty mess.
History shows again and again how Nature abbhors…
. . . trailer parks.
The road to hell . . .
… mimes pretending to vacuum.
See a penny, pick it up…
… is hot. VERY hot!
See a penny, pick it up…
…heaven
…and all the day you will wonder what the hell to do with a useless frickin’ penny… then wing it at a mime.
A friend in need…
…is impossible to get off the phone.
Early to bed and early to rise…
And you miss out on all the cool parties.
Men. Can’t live with 'em…
…at least, not in Virginia.
I think, therefore…
Now THAT’S funny! 
and shootin’ 'em is illegal.
“In the event of a loss of cabin air pressure…”
… I am not a blonde.
He who flees at the right time …
Does not freeze with a light rime.
To every problem there is a solution…
He who flees at the right time…
…is a coward
You might be a redneck if…