If "So & So" Married "So & So" Game (From "Laugh-In")

The Game Room
1

In the 60s the show Laugh-In used to have a comedy bit where they’d say something like:

And my favourite:

I was just thinking if anyone could do this with present day celebrities. I am not up to date on who’s in so I don’t think I could come up with any, but I’ll think about it.

I guess it’d be harder as celebritites are less likely to change their name

Also don’t forget you can use divorces too

Like if “So & So” married “So & So” and got divorced then remarried “So & So” she’d be… That way you’d get three names out of it.

2

One from the Muppet Show:

“If Tuesday Weld married Fredric March’s grandson, she’d be Tuesday March the Second.”

3

If Karen Carpenter married Adam Ant she’d be Karen Carpenter-Ant.

If Jack Black married Will Smith he’d be Jack Black-Smith.

4

Years ago I read a few of these in British humour magazine Viz. Can’t remember any of the names because they were just a setup for the final one:

If Julie Christie married Linford Christie she could keep her name and have a husband with an enormous cock.

5

Upon reading this the first thing that sprang into my mind was “If we can do gay marriages, then if Mudhoney frontman Mark Arm married Brad Pitt then he’d be Mark Arm-Pitt!”

There are a lot of possibilities with Mark Arm. If he paired up with MC Hammer but they kept their own names, they might be introduced as “Mark Arm and Hammer”.

6

If Charlize Theron married Chriss Angel she’d be Charlize Angel.

If Ann Rice teamed up with Wavy Gravy to write about vampires on The Hog Farm, the novel would be by Rice and Gravy.

If Guich Koock married Stacy Keach he’d be Guich Keach.

If Coco Chanel had married Orson Bean she’d be Coco Bean.

7

A classic: If Wanda Landowska (harpsichordist) married Howard Hughes, divorced him and married Henry Kissinger, she’d be Wanda Hughes Kissinger now.

An old thread The silly married name game - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board

8

If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she’d be Ella Vader

My father has been using that one for 30 years.

9

Since this is a game, I’m going to move it from Cafe Society to the Game Room.

10

If Bjork married Beck, she’d be Bjork.

11

If Mitzi Green married Terrence Stamp, she’d be Mitzi Green-Stamp…

12

The one I always heard on the school bus was “If Anita Baker married Moby Dick, she’d be Anita Dick.”

And if Bjork married Bjorn Borg…

13

If Miss Piggy married Winnie the Pooh, she’d be Miss Piggy-Pooh.

14

I have to imagine they’d be referred to collectively as the Berks, however.

15

If Joan Rivers married Joaquin Phoenix she’d be Joan Rivers Phoenix.

If Phyllis George married Denzel Washington she’d Phyllis George Washington. If she divorced and married Max Carver, she’d be Phyllis George Washington Carver.

If Sandra Oh married Jack Lord she’d be Sandra Oh Lord.

Phoebe Snow married Floyd Flake she’d be Phoebe Snow Flake.

If Gladys Knight married Morris Day she’d be Gladys Knight Day.

If Aimee Semple McPherson divorced and married Paul Simon she’d be Aimee Semple Simon.

If Karen Black married Chris Rock she’d be Karen Black Rock. If she divorced and married Kenneth Starr she’d be Karen Black Rock Starr.

If Tori Spelling married Sorrell Booke she’d be Tori Spelling Booke.

If Lisa Jolley married Kenny Rogers she’d be Lisa Jolley Rogers.

I’d love to hear what the OP thinks about this; for now I’m going to stick to old-school, if ruled otherwise, I got a million of 'em.

16

If Bea Arthur married Sting…

If Liv Tyler married Shelley Long and then teamed up with Emily Proctor to make a movie about Vulcan greetings…

17

If Eric Christmas married Seal, they’d be Christmas Seal.

If Betty White married Jack Black, divorced him and married Mark Blue, divorced him and married Seth Green, she’d be Betty White Black Blue Green

18

If Laura Dern married William Katt she’d be Laura Dern Katt.

If Ima Hogg married Sean Penn she’d be Ima Hogg Penn.

If Olivia Wilde married Cornel Wilde she’d be Olivia Wilde Wilde. If Olivia Wilde Wilde divorced and then married Kanye West she’d be Olivia Wilde Wilde West.

19

If Natalie Anne Coughlin married Walt Disney, divorced him and remarried Tom Cruise, divorced him and remarried John Wesley Shipp, divorced him and remarried Michael Boatman, she’d be Nat A. Coughl-Disney-Cruise-Shipp-Boatman.

20

I don’t recall if this was from Laugh-In or elsewhere, but my fave of these is:
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, and then married the Dalai Lama, and then married Lorenzo Lamas and they had a Llama, it would be the Dolly Dali Dalai Lama Lamas Llama.