If WW2 was an online RTS...

Y’all might have seen this already. If so, my apologies - I did to a search on “benny-tow” for all applicable forums (MPSIMS, Cafe, IMHO):

The original can be found here: http://forum.thoselog.com/index.php?showtopic=151&pid=955&mode=threaded&show=&st=&

Not wanting to get in trouble with Da Rules, I edited out all correctly spelled profanities. If you want to read it in all its unedited glory, check out the link above…

If World War Two had been an RTS game, it would have gone a little something like this…

If World War Two had been an RTS game, it would have gone a little something like this…

Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.
Eisenhower has joined the game.
paTTon has joined the game.
Churchill has joined the game.
benny-tow has joined the game.
T0J0 has joined the game.
Roosevelt has joined the game.
Stalin has joined the game.
deGaulle has joined the game.
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
deGaulle has left the game.
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
benny-tow has been eliminated.
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun socker
Stalin: rofl
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
Hitler[AoE] has left the game
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
Roosevelt has left the game.
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
tru_m4n has joined the game.
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy holyhoyl
T0J0 has been eliminated.
The Allied team has won the game!
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
T0J0 has left the game.
Eisenhower has left the game.
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
tru_m4n has left the game.
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
Churchill has left the game.
benny~tow has left the game.
Stalin: i hate u all fags
Stalin has left the game.
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
paTTon has been eliminated.
paTTon: o sh1t!
paTTon has left the game.



I have to admit that I found this quite amusing.

One of many classic exchanges in this well-done piece.

France has joined the game
Hitler[AoE]: Boo!
France has left the game


Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped

Far as I know, there are no rules against profanities.

The rules are against being a dickhead, not swearing, although I’d imagine it’s considered polite to be less profane out of the pit than you’d otherwise be.

That was hilarious. Oddly enough, I could picture them saying things like that.

funny stuff

Funny as hell, thanks.

I loved this part

Too funny!

This part was subtle, but smart and funny.


Hitler[AoE] & T0J0 got totally pwned!!

What does [AOE] in Hitler[AOE] mean?
Yes, I’m aware that it’s a stupid question and I should know it.

I think it means Axis of Evil. My husband, sons, and I asked the same question in the CBCD household, as we howled over this around the kitchen table.

I don’t think Axis of Evil, that’s more for Iran etc. Army of Excellence? Age Over Entities?

It means Axis of Evil, but more importantly what’s funny is that that is how “clans” identify themselves. As a general rule, if you go to online games and see a name followed by [Namehere] it means that person is part of a clan.

Which makes the writer of this even more brilliant. All the right touches here.

Huh, never would have guessed. Thank you.

What does ‘afk’ mean? Thanks.