It’s a satire column by Andy Borowitz. Not real.
Yes. Every day, I recall the common retort from when I was in third grade: “Is that a promise, or a threat?”
This tweet by someone calling herself Janus Rose continues to be relevant:
i continue to assert that the best, most optimistic news headlines are written by right-wing blogs trying to shock & frighten their readers
Ha! Totally.
Somehow, the Trump campaign sent me a snail mail card warning me that Kamala Harris was even more of a socialist than Bernie Sanders.
I wish! That would be awesome!
I’m a retired microbiologist who worked in medical area. I sure as hell hope he starts listening to Fauci and similar CDC NIH scientists!
I live in Qld Australia. We got in early with lockdowns and border closures. Qld death toll from Covid-19 = 6. Yes, SIX. Wake up America.
Yes, I feel truly sorry for Americans at the moment for many reasons. I hope for all your sakes he does not get re-elected despite the rhetoric, lies, and idiocy.
I still maintain that the most satirical thing The Onion could do would be to report on Trump as if he was a dignified President that respects the office and wants to do right by the people.
Like say… what Obama (or really any of Trump’s predecessors) would have said in a similar situation, as opposed to whatever sewer gas belches forth when Trump opens his mouth.
Like:
“Today, Trump had a rally in Omaha, Nebraska, where he respectfully and with great dignity made the case for why, while his political opponent is a good man, that his policies and vision for the future would be better for the country, for both his supporters and opponents.”
“After the rally, plenty of well organized transportation quickly got the rally goers (who were all wearing masks and social distancing) back to where they had parked their cars, 3.7 miles away.”
?
We could call it “The Shallot”
Exactly! I keep thinking that when the actual truth is so absurd and sensational, then the satire has to go in the opposite direction.
It seems pretty satirical and subversive to me.
It would be for those in the know but what would happen in real life is Trump would tweet a link to the article, and millions of people wouldn’t know or care that it was a satirical piece. It would end up being some unintentionally great advertising for him.
“See! He is so Presidential in that speech!”
I imagine that he’d notice, and rail against it- “Fake news!” since he never actually said that, thereby intensifying the impact.
They already do that with Onion and other satirical sites that tell fake stories of Democrats.
The big one was the Abortion Megaplex story, seems I see that get linked to every few months on some social media as though it were a real story.
Or the Harry Potter one where the Satanist says
Harry is an absolute godsend to our cause
That one is believed by many
//i\\
Boris Johnson accused of “giving in to the scientific advisers” made me think of this thread. That’s from this article
Sage believes its advice to be more like commandments written on stone
which is pay walled. There is a summary of it at CNN
https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/01/uk/uk-lockdown-coronavirus-reaction-gbr-intl/index.html
“Normally, advisers advise and ministers decide. Yet that system has broken down with Sage [the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies] believing its advice to be more like commandments written on stone and its members publicly lecturing the Government over the airways,”
From the author of the Telegraph piece, Iain Duncan Smith, a former Conservative leader. I guess that if you are given advice, and you take the advice, then it wasn’t really advice, it was a commandment?
Best of luck to the UK in getting their portion of the pandemic under control.