Now there’s one I’d like to take for a test-drive, if you know what I mean.
I know where he could dip his Pringles if you know what I mean.
I’d like to BBQ in her pit, IYKWIM.
I’d like to trim her bushes, IYKWIM.
Hmmm. How bout…
Boy, I’d like To fuck her, IYKWIM.
Seriously, tho, I can think of a few women here whos message board I’d like to post on, IYKWIM.
I have some Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share with her, if you know what I mean.
I’d like to Comment On Her Staff Report, if you know what I mean.
I’d like to Straighten her Dope! IYKWIM!
I’d like to Dope her Spiffled, IYKWIM!
I’d like to Slam her Front Door, IYKWIM!
I’d like to renovate her house, IYKWIM.
I’d like to paint her walls, IYKWIM.
(Yeah, so now I switched to watching the Home & Garden channel…)
I’d like to fry his bacon, IYKWIM.
I’d like to cook his sausage, IYKWIM.
I’d like to whip his eggs and fold his batter, IYKWIM.
I’d like to work on his column, if you know what I mean.
I liked his post, too IYKWIM.
I’d like to make it difficult for her to walk, iykwim.
I’d like to annoy her tortoise…
I’d like to set her cat on fire…
I’d like to make sure her kangaroo walks with a limp…
basically, you can do any violent act to an animal, and it’s a euphemism…
But the Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All.
[dirty old man voice]
I’d like to Funk her Wagnall*, IYKWIM
[/dirty old man voice]
*with thanks to Arte Johnson and the rest of the cast of Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In
Maybe not, but I bet there’s a few people out there who’d like to TP your Wombat, IF you know what I mean 
I’d like to close his bolding…If you know what I mean.
MikeG: Howzabout this…
I’d love to hold onto those pigtails and unbraid her rotater. IYKWIM
I’d like to summon Elvis down to her Clambake, IYKWIM.
I’d like to gulp his goldfish, IKYNWIM.
Man, I’d sure love to Cecil his Adams, IYKWIM.
And this one’s fer Euty:
I’d like ta Steamboat his Willie, IYKWIM.
Oh yeah, I’d like to double-post her.
[li][sub]From American Pie[/sub]I’d like to double-click her mouse, IYKWIM.[/li]
[li]I’d like to log on to her, IYKWIM.[/li]
[li]I’d like to ping her connection, IYKWIM.[/li]
[li]I’d like to order in to eat with her, IYKWIM.[/li]
[li]I’d like to fuck her six-ways from silly, IYKWIM.[/li]
[li]I’d like to check her portfolio, IYKWIM.[/li]
I’d like leave a DNA sample, IYKWIM.
I’d like to stuff her fuzzy bunny, IYKWIM.
I’d like to lick her peeps, IYKWIM.
I’d like to adjust his idle, if you know what I mean.
I’d like to blow his head gasket, if you know what I mean.
I’d like to finger his ivories, if you know what I mean.
I’d like to raid his 'fridge, if you know what I mean.
And (not very subtle), I’d like to ride him off into the sunset. You know what I mean.
A couple of ones based on my job as a fraud analyst at a credit card company:
I’d like to verify his activity IYKWIM
I’d like to reset his account IYKWIM
I’d like to tag his fraud charges IYKWIM
And some wrestling related ones 
I’d like to get the Stone Cold Stunner from him IYKWIM
I’d like to give him the Swanton Bomb IYKWIM
We can play Matt and Lita all day IYKWIM