been lurking here a long time, finally have something to say
i just found out some bad news.
since january i have ben living with my boyfriend (B). he is a very sweet loving caring person who helped me get out of a bad situation with an emotionally abusive ex. he has two children, who also live with us. they’re adorable. we’re not doing very well financially, but we’re trying. his family lives nearby and is very supportive; they help with the kids when we’re both working, and help with the bills.
we recently found out that we’re having a baby. this might not be the best time for it, but we’re happy and want to get married.
one little problem: B’s still technically married to his ex (W).
W is trash and i hate her. she abandoned B to have his best friend’s baby about a year before i met him. she took the kids and dumped them off at her parents. B had no idea where they were for 6 weeks.
as far as i know, B (or his parents, who, like i said, are angels) has had them continuously since he got them back from that incident. i do know that in the time they’ve lived with us, W has seen them less than once a month. she does things like call to say she wants them for a week, and then never calls back and never answers her phone. or she’ll take them “for a week” and bring them back after two days. when she is watching them (and doesn’t dump them off with relatives), she treats her daughter (D) like a princess while virtually ignoring her son (S). D comes back from her mother’s expecting to get everything she wants when she wants it, or she throws a fit. W also puts both kids in diapers too small (the ones she has lying around for her other son, who is much younger), and lets them get rashes. she also apparently does not keep up with their potty training (they are in desperate need of potty training, and everytime they come back from her house, they have regressed in it). furthermore, in the entire time they’ve lived with us, W has not contibuted one cent to raising these children. in fact, the often do not come home with the cups or clothes that they left with. she’s a terrible, terrible mother.
last night W told us that the reason she will not sign the divorce papers and thus save us almost half the cost of filing (which we cannot afford and she is not willing to contribute to) is because she doesn’t like the custody arrangement. she wants the kids six months out of the year.
wtf? a woman who can’t keep her own kids for a whole week wants them six months out of the year? and doesn’t she know how awful that would be for the kids, having the change homes every six months? what about when D starts pre-school next year?
she claims that if B tries to fight her on it, she will go to court and request full custody. she also claims that she’ll drag this out so that we cannot get married before i have the baby. her family is willing to pay for a lawyer for her, because they want the kids. if W did have custody, the kids would probably live with her mother, a woman who told cps that B was molesting the kids just to spite him. unfortunately, B has some problems in his past (drugs and mental problems), and even though i know he’s a perfect parent, we can’t afford a lawyer so she could actually win.
we’ve been trying to get this woman to a) sign the damn papers; and b) take an interest in her children’s lives for months. this is the conclusion she comes to. bitch.