My MIL has been destroying her life for years. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say Hubby and I have opened our home, hearts and wallets to her many times & she’s still a mess. I’m fed up, but she still calls my Hubby for help.
Her latest peccadillo was going to be an attempt to “save” her equally maladjusted brother by quitting her job and relocating to his city to live w/him. At the last moment he bailed on her. There may be hope for him yet.
So I’m wondering - how do people recover from many years’ worth of bad decisions?
Say you’re 62. No money at all, no retirement money or even much Social Security. She was a public employee for 25 yrs & that’s a separate fund. Which she depleted several years ago).
No job - The last one she quit doesn’t want her back. MIL was a Social Worker up until 15 yrs ago, based solely on a BA in Psychology. She didn’t further her education in that field & no longer meets the minimum requirements. Then she took a series of low-paying jobs in various cities (Denny’s waitress, Ikea clerk) to which she has no desire to return. I don’t think she could physically DO those jobs at this point anyway, she’s become really obese and claims to have a heart condition.
No home. She abandoned her paid for home when she quit that job. At one point she was living in her truck. With two cats.
I swear, I am not making this up.
No friends. She’s mooched off everyone moochable.
Oh, and no computer skills. Refuses to even try to learn. The Internet is beyond her.
Yes, I know she’s depressed. Actually at one point she was catatonic - her neighbors found and hospitalized her. I took her to my own shrink myself once she was released, and paid for the sessions. This was 10 years ago.
Oh, and she’s got a terrible attitude. Bit surprise. She’s a huge misanthropist. She claims to love animals and nature, but the one time she pursued it by going to work at a wolf sanctuary (this was how she concluded the therapy I’d arranged) she decided the wolves were too “noisy” and left.
I figure there may be a Doper or two who’s known someone in similar circumstances, or found a way to bounce back from life’s misfortunes themselves. Obviously she’s generated these disasters herself, but then most of us do.
Thanks in advance for any insights offered.