If you’re stoned and you know it, clap your hands.
If you’re stoned and you know it…do we have any chocolate ice cream? Marshmallow cream? Are there any munchies at all in the house?
If you’re editing and you know it, use the red pen.
If you’re editing and you know it, use the red pen.
If mistakes in speelang grammar and
are making your day rather bland
If you’re editing, spice it up with the red pen.
If you’re desperate for a nap, bob your head.
If you’re desperate for a nap, bob your head.
You might fall asleep in class,
you might fall right on your @$$,
but if you’re desperate for a nap, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
If you’re waiting for a friend on the computer,
and they’ve not shown up–I might have to shoot her
I need to talk right now
and she’s just not around
If you’re waiting for a friend–oh, hi
What the heck - no-one’s hassled me for poor taste yet, so you get this delightful little contribution:
If you need to take a dump, clench your cheeks
Your load feels like it’s been building up for weeks
If you’re really ‘touching cloth’
And you’re scared to even cough
If you need to take a dump, clench your cheeks
N.B. This might have something to do with having recently read the ‘Ever shat your pants’ thread… :eek:
If you’re a Doper poster, realize
That the smileys give you ways to criticize.
If you’re scared and cannot speak
You could always just say :eek:
For sarcasm you could merely :rolleyes:
If you’re righteous and you know it, write a tract
Show us how those heathen ought to be attacked
If your name is Mr. Chick
Lay it on us extra thick
Or we might suspect the whole thing is an act
If you’re driving on the highway, watch the road,
If your phone rings and you answer, you’re a toad!
If you’re talking on your cell
Then you ought to go to hell
Don’t be chatting while you’re driving, watch the road.
There’s some funny stuff on this thread!
Here’s one that came to me after I was the last poster on several threads:
If you’re Andy and you post, you kill the thread.
If you’re Andy, it is toast, you kill it dead.
If you don’t want to see me sad,
Think of something else to add,
So it won’t be Andy who has killed the thread.
If you love me and you know it, it’s your round…
If you start things but never finish, it’s
If you’re obsessive and you know it wash your hands,
If you’re obsessive and you know it wash them again,
If you’re obsessive and you know it,
Then you’ve learned how not to show it publicly,
If you’re obsessive and you know it sing this over and over again.
If you’re sappy and you know it watch some PAX
Won’t takelong to air some tear inducing facts
If you’re sappy and you know it
But can’t wait for Lifetime to show it
If you’re sappy and you know it watch some PAX
If you’re touchy and you know it have a fit
If you’re touchy and you know it freakin’ flip
If you’re touchy and you know it And you’re just about to blow it
If you’re touchy and you know it go to The Pit
If you’re horny and you know it cop a feel
If you’re horny and you know it rub with zeal
If you’re horney and you know it and you biblically want to know it
If you’re horny and you know it and you know it cop a feel.
If you’re Flipper and you know it, clap your fins!
If you’re Flipper, you most likely like to swim!
If you’re Flipper and you know it,
And Bumblebee should know it,
So you don’t get sold as tuna, clap your fins!
If you’re Jesus and you know it make some wine,
If you’re Jesus and you know it use the word “thine,”
If you’re Jesus and you know it,
Your stigmata will really show it,
If you’re Jesus and you know it bless this rhyme.
If you’re right and you know it, tell them so.
If they don’t agree, then tell them where to go.
If you argue like a giant and some n00b acts defiant,
Then you really ought to show it, let them know.
And, for the Sandman fans out there…
If you’re Destiny, you know it, clap your hands.
Unless the book says “Listen to some bands.”
If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it.
If you’re Destiny, you know it, clap your hands (or not).
If you’re Death, and you know it, dress in black.
If you’re Death, teenage fanboys you won’t lack.
If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it.
If you’re Death, and you know it, please come back!
If you’re Dream, and you know it, sulk a bit.
You’re a troubled, formal, stuffy, ageless git.
If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it.
If you’re Dream, and you know it, then just quit.
If you’re Destruction and you know it, blow stuff up.
When you grow weary of that, then give it up.
If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it.
If you were once Destruction, get a pup.
If you’re Despair, and you know it, poke your eye.
Make some random people feel like they should die.
If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it.
If you’re Despair, and you know it, make me cry.
If you’re Desire and you know it, you’re your house.
Make a chicken want to do it with a mouse.
If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it.
If you’re Desire and you know it, be a louse.
If you’re Delirium don’t know it, jellyfishy.
Turn someone into some frogs that will go splishy.
If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it.
If you’re Delirium don’t know it, ooh, shiny!
If you’re cumming and you know it cl…cl…CL CL CLCLL OH GOD!
clap.
Are you sure you want to use a sex reference and “clap” in the same sentence?
This thread is wonderful. I’ve had a shitty week and was able to laugh out loud because of you guys. So here’s my lame addition…
If your lover just walked out, Don’t be sad.
If she shifts the blame to you, Don’t get mad.
If herself, she must now find,
And you think she’s lost her mind,
If your lover just walked out, Don’t be sad.