If you’re Godzilla and you know it, stomp around.
If you’re Godzilla and you know it, stomp around.
If you’re Godzilla and you know it,
And you want Japan to know it,
If you’re Godzilla and you know it, stomp around.
If you’re lonely and you know it, just whistle.
If you’re dying and you know it, just whistle.
For life’s a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
If you’re losing and you know it, just whistle.
If you’re Cecil Adams and you know it…
…well, duh, no wonder, you’re Cecil Adams, you know everything.
Inspired by my own brown-nosing post above…
If you worship Cecil Adams, kiss his ass
If you’re seeking his approval, kiss his ass
If you after his attention
Or at least a passing mention
Pucker up (tongue optional) and kiss his ass
I did think about that. 
Narcoleptic and you know it, clap your hands
Narcoleptic and you know it clzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
If you’re a moron and you know it, go to war,
Massive tax cuts make us glad despite the gore,
If your pal’s in Halliburton
And the ‘conomy’s a hurtin’
Lotsa men behind that curtain, bomb the Moor!
Huh, what the…
Narcoleptic and you knozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Huh, what the…
Narcoleptic and you knozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oh my GOD I can’t breathe! I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time! You guys are so great.
If you’re a hamster who likes wheels, then travel fast
To the Chicago Reader’s Straight Dope Staff
I need my daily fix
But the boards load too slowly bit-by-bit
So get in a wheel and run off your little hamster ass
If you’re a leper and you know it, find your hand
And you haven’t got a leg on which to stand
If your limbs are dropping off
Every time you cough
If you’re a leper and you know it, find your hand.
OK. I’m sorry. Very sorry. I’m now on my way to hell.
If you’re gardening and you know it plant a seed
If you’re gardening and you know it pull a weed
Take your seed outside and sow it
Give it plenty of water to grow it
(and every once in a while hoe it)
If you’re gardening and you know it plant a seed
If you’re boating and you know it float downstream
All the while singing, “Life is but a dream”
If you’re boating and you know it
Get your boat to float and row it
If you’re boating and you know it float downstream
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…skritch
…
…
…
If you’re really really stupid clap your hands.
Thank you.
Now go sit out in the hall and leave me alone, you moron!
If you’re happy and you know it then you should know
that life’s a shithouse. This planet is dying, we’re all
out for ourselves at the expense of our neighbour.
None of us have any redeeming qualities whatsoever.
If you’re happy and you know it, it must be because you are
blinkered, naive, drugged or stupid. Or a combination of all four.
If you’re happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, then you will merely be broadcasting to the world your idiocy, and inflicting your misguided frivolity upon someone else, as if to say “I’m alright - regardless of how you are feeling”.
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. But I hope your wrists snap you selfish bastard.
(I kid 'cos I love)
Lovely weather and I’m stuck at work, how sad.
Lovely weather when in shorts I should be clad!
Lovely weather and I’m here
How I’d love to disappear
But I need to pay the mortgage: I’ve been had!
If you’re trolling and you know it post a rant
On a topic you want to argue, but you can’t.
Insult a valid poster.
We’ll throw your ass in the roaster.
“Don’t let the door hit your ass” is our chant.
If you’re naked and you know it, clap your hams
I know what I just typed-clap your hams!
Make 'em wibble-wobble
'till other parts do thobble
If you’re naked and you know it, clap your hams!