Is there a reason that something like the accujack couldn’t be used to speed up the process?
spit take THE WHAT? :eek:
returns from www.accujack.com
I think i’ll just go lay down, I don’t feel too good…
A paper bag would be nice. I guess we’ll have to find one. The lab tech just gave my wife a little cup with a sticker saying “Sterilized” on it. Being a bonehead, I left in on a bookcase in our living room. Our four-year-old found it, and asked me what it was for.
Fortunately, I deftly changed the subject. Unfortunately, she now knows that there’s no such thing as Santa Claus.
I had to engage in the same activity when we first began to attempt reproduction.
I didn’t want to use girly magazines, so I asked if I could bring my wife along to assist in the process. They didn’t care, and my wife was OK with it as well. Heck, the nurse behind the desk looked like there was nothing on earth she hadn’t seen before.
The only time she changed expression thru out the whole time we interacted was when I asked how many other people I could bring along as well.
Regards,
Shodan
Your in luck (slightly work unsafe).
Nice segue.
That one line was enough to make me cringe. “Penis” and “Machine” are just two words that should never be in the same sentence.
I think that the accujack looks like fun, even if the video involves girls. 
And by fun, I mean probably not fun in a satisfying way, but being able to say “check out what I’ve got!!!”
Jesus! Did it pop the lid of the cup and attack a nurse?
Best post of the day. The whole thing is reminding me of the whole Larry Niven “Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue” story.
Becareful when you wank, you might shoot someone’s eye out.
Thar he blowwwwwwwwws!
You are all sick, twisted, perverted, disgusting freaks.
Man, I love you guys. 
Don’t forget, as you’re playing a concerto on the meat bassoon, to yell:
“Woooooohoooooooooo!!! I am masturbating like a motherfuck!!!”
This thread raises the question (serious for a change) - what do you do at one of the clinics if you are unable to masturbate for whatever reason (religious, physically unable, etc.)?
I noticed at least one comment said the wife was allowed to help; do most clinics allow this?
I guess Max has an appropriate username.
And now I must share my favorite euphemism for male masterbation:
Wait for it…
“Ringing down for more mayo”
This I cannot deny.
And, since you shared your favorite euphemism, I’ll share mine. In honor of our former Surgeon General, who resigned amid an uproar concerning teaching about masturbation in schools, my favorite euphemism is:
“Jostlin’ the Elder”.
No, no, it’s, “Giving the Surgeon General a dishonorable discharge.”
Learned a new word!
And the word for the day is teledildonics.
Can you say teledildonics?