I’m the type of person that has a few close friends and several acquaintances. Lately though I’ve not wanted to be around people. No, I shouldn’t say that. I should say lately I can only deal with people on a superficial level. I don’t want to be with crowds and I don’t want to have any deep and meaningful conversations. I’m glad I’m a librarian so I can do my work in a quiet and fairly solo environment. When I go to the barn to ride the Wonder Pony, I want to say to the other boarders hello, how are you, then do my thing and go home. I do not want to hang with my group of friends and do stuff. I want to go home and read or do my crafts or watch tv or whatever. I’m seriously hoping this is a phase but if it persists, I do have the name of a good therapist. This ever happen to anyone else?
Yes, this has happened to me. Usually (for me, anyway), it’s just a phase.
Hey, we all need “down time”. A chance to just unwind without anyone else present…a chance to get away from social obligations, or even making idle chitchat.
Maybe I’m just comfortable with my own company, I really don’t know.
On the other hand, if you have some serious issues going on, maybe you want to watch yourself.
As I said earlier, for me, it’s usually just a short phase. I enjoy time to myself and look forward to it. I am usually a very busy person, and spend a lot of time with my friends. I don’t have many close friends, just a few, but we know when to give each other space too.
Ya know, I never get lonely. There’s never a time when I say to myself, “My goodness, I crave the company of other human beings!”
I do stuff with other people often, 'cause it’s fun, but I am always happy to have some time to myself. I read, do crafts, watch TV, cook myself exquisite meals finely tuned to my own personal tastes, go for walks, have long involved conversations with the cat, surf the web, go shopping (dodging helpful clerks and whatnot), and so on.
During my first semester of college, I was taking 18 hours of classes and had no friends. I went to class, did homework in my dorm room, ate in the dining hall (with a book), watched a little TV, and that’s about it. And I remember it as one of the happiest, most productive periods of my life.
So I don’t think you have to have company to be happy and healthy.
Sometimes I feel like you do, too, where I just don’t want to be near anyone, but usually only after I’ve ODed on people–been forced to hang out with a group for a whole weeked, or something.
I don’t know, as long as you’re doing stuff and getting out of the house regularly, and you can do your job without feeling uncomfortable about the people you have to deal with, I would think you’re okay. IANAD, of course.
Can I ask how old you are?
As long as you are aware of your feelings and can get professional help if you need it, you’re doing fine. But it’s important to make sure that you are really just not in the mood to be with people, and not depressed. If you can get of bed without too much problem, eat normally, and basically live life, you should be okay. But if you’re down, finding a psychologist, even just for a quick few vistis, is very important.
(It’s funny, we hear about “anti-social” people, but never about “pro-social” people. Hmmm.)
Francesca, I’m 46. Yes, in menopause and yes, on hormones. yoyo3500, no problem getting out of bed, eating, doing activities of daily living. I don’t even have a problem talking to people. I just don’t want to hear the intimate details of peoples’ lives or even the mundane details. I’m not lonely, I don’t go out of my way to avoid people. I will carry on a “social” conversation but really have no interest in any more than that. (I would think “prosocial” people are those who can never be alone and always have to be yammering.)
I think, technically, this behavior is asocial. Anti-social is more where you are deliberately trying to “go against” society: breaking the law, purposefully hurting people/relationships, etc.
Ah yes, a cite.
That doesn’t sound like you. I can’t really find any good cites regarding “asocial” behavior, but I know I’ve heard it called that. I’m usually that way myself. I have no trouble forming acquaintances, but I have no burning desire to get very close or even converse with most people in anything but the most superficial manner.
I’d like to restate that this is not my normal m.o. I’ve just been feeling this for the last 2 weeks. I don’t think I’ve gone through an entire personality shift, but am going through a phase.
Sounds like a perfectly normal phase of life to me. Hang in there as long as you are not depressed by the absence of people, or finding yourself getting lonely. Hell I’d pay good money some days to be left alone for an afternoon.