There’s a book out there (long forgotten - my wedding was 25 years ago!) that lays it out very nicely: six months before the wedding, you should be fighting about XXXX, one month before the wedding, you should be fighting about YYYY, one week before the wedding you should be fighting about ZZZZ, etc.
Also, something I personally recommend: do pictures before the ceremony. Then everyone’s makeup and hair are still fresh, nobody’s tired or cranky yet, you can tell your wedding party “be there at 3” and tell the guests “be there at 5.” That way no one’s waiting around after the ceremony getting hungry while the wedding party takes photos.
Different strokes and all that (I know some people prefer to let the guests watch the groom see the bride for the first time in all her finery), but we found that this worked really well for my sister’s wedding. YMMV, of course.
I do agree with this in principle, however, in many places the venues that offer a good combination of value, convenience, and service are booked around a year in advance. Same for photographers. There are lots of good ones and lots of cheap ones, but the good, cheap ones book fast.
I’m not sure about the “enjoy each decision” since in my case each and every one was a hellish ordeal of my family jockeying for whose demands were more important while assuring me that everything would be exactly as I wanted it. As long as what I want is what they think I should want. But if there was something I actually want and was willing to speak up for it, I’m obviously a control freak and bridezilla.
Oh yeah. And pin you/ your fiancee (and your family, if they are contributing) to a very set budget. Don’t let anyone agree to, say, “pay for the flowers” without that being a real sum in actual numbers. A lot of very avoidable misunderstandings and hurt feelings can be avoided this way.
Yeah. Planning a wedding. I’d rather stab myself in the face than do it again.
Listen to Maiira, she speaks wisdom. Both my sister and I took pictures before our weddings, and it’s a great idea. We did take some after, too, but not the marathon picture session that makes everyone cranky.
I told a co-worker that we were doing this, and she was aghast. “He’s going to see you in the dress before the wedding? It’s bad luck!” she said in a gaspy sort of way. Lady, if my marriage hinges on whether he sees me in a bit of satin before some arbitrary time, I’ve got bigger problems to deal with. Besides, Mr. Snicks went with me to all the trying-ons anyway, so he’d seen me in the dress *months *before the wedding!
I concur on the pictures before the wedding. Even better, if the photographer and venue will let you, is to let guests attend and take pictures at the same time.
Best wishes to you both! I also married Rebound Guy (not the same one ;)), and we’re still going strong at 13.5 years.
Awesome! I loved my wedding, and my brother’s wedding! And I was never a wedding girl before. Now I think they are so much fun and happy that I volunteer anything I can do to help with a wedding. And don’t let yourself get too stressed- something will totally go wrong and often the snafu will end up a happier memory than a perfect day.
We’re definitely planning on taking pictures first! What a stupid superstition - I was at a wedding once where we waited THREE HOURS without being allowed to dig into the food because the bride and groom were still off taking pictures. For pity’s sake.
And there will NOT be one of those boring ugly back-fat strapless dresses, I can assure you.
Don’t get so focused on planning your wedding that you forget you are planning your life together. The wedding day isn’t a pimple on a boar’s ass in the big scheme of things.
I did this 30 years ago and it was a GREAT success. As part of the wedding pictures, the photographer also took professional portraits of each person in the wedding party. I treasure the portraits of my parents.