It’s not any one big thing. It’s a bunch of little things that are really eating at me these days.
New job! But director left and I’m on my own to figure out what’s what without support or game plan.
Separation agreement is still not finalized and the ex is dragging her feet for reasons I can’t fathom.
I hate my appartment and want to move but the place I really want might already be rented. I have to wait and see.
My GF might very well be committment phobic. Not in an exclusivity way but in a let’s talk about the future way.
She’s also not as tidy as I am and I’m constantly having to pick up her empty yougurt cups and lids (among other things) from where ever she happens to have left it while getting ready in the morning. It’s like having a third kid.
She can’t seem to use a towel twice at my place. No trouble doing it at hers however. I’m constantly washing loads of towels. Which I collect from various door handles.
We’ve gone over and over her wardrobe and put together great work/play outfits. She still can’t manage to pick out something that matches more than 50% of the time.
Did I mention the shoes kicked off in the middle of the room?
I’m working with people who can’t appreciate the concept of running the company as a business. It’s all touchy feely kum-ba-ya sort of crap. It’s important that I don’t do anything to affect the deadline but if they have to do something in a particular timeframe, suddenly the deadlines are mere suggestions.
If they don’t like what I have to say about their decision process, they just run off to complain to the former project manager. Who has a crush on me. Who is a nightmare of the worst proportions. Who keeps flirting with me and undermining me at every step because I just might pull this off by the planned deadline.
I miss not seeing my kids every night.
My ex is off on one of her “it’s all about me” head trips. It’s fucking Mother’s day weekend you tart! The kids would probably like to spend Sunday with you. Doncha think? I know this is a very important race but you could be back Saturday night if you wanted to spend it with them. Instead you’ll be back on Sunday night around whenever, cuz your boyfriend wants to run the short race that morning. Yeah, I suppose you have to let him. You are, afterall, elbow deep in his wallet. I know! You can make next weekend a “special” mother’s day… no wait… you’ve got another four day trip planned. Ah well… maybe next year, eh?
Its my 8th week here and I still haven’t received a single cheque. Hey, I know I’m consultant trash but I still would like to pay my rent and utility bills.
My GF makes plans with her friends to go out and do stuff, and that’s fine. I just wish she wouldn’t wait to tell me. Better yet, ask me if I was planning to do something on such and such a day and if not, make other plans. Not that I should always come first but it would be nice to have first rights of refusal now and then.
I’ve got the kids on a couple of weeknight evenings and one night per weekend. Sometimes it’s not fair to my GF because she has to also work around those plans so we can spend my off nights together.
My daughter wants to ask my GF to attend her b-day party in June. I know my GF will make up an excuse not to go. She doesn’t want to run into my ex at the party. WTF? I’ve got to run into my ex and dickless at my little girl’s party. I don’t get any say in that. In fact, I run into dickless every fucking morning at the gym. Why can’t she just deal with the fact that I have people in my life I don’t want to deal with either but I suck it up and do it! I think it’s time by GF did as well. It’s not like there will ever be a time when my ex isn’t my ex and in my life because of the kids.
I can go on… shall I?.. no, better not. I’m nobody’s friend lately and I’m lousy company to boot. Fucking FUCK! :mad:
You know, with all that shit going on, I think you probably are in the right forum. You just have to spice up the language a bit, throw in some fucknuggets, fucknozzels, fuckweezers, etc.
Okay, don’t flame me here. But why are you with the girlfriend? There seems to be a lot of stuff about her that bugs you. She doesn’t seem mature enough to be with you, why do you bother? I hope you’re not with her because you feel you need someone. She doesn’t seem right for you and you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who takes your feelings into consideration, especially since you have kids.
I think a lot of your stress would go away if you took some time off from her. But I really don’t know if the good outweighs the bad on this, you have to decide that on your own. It just seems to me a lot of your frustration is her lack of maturity.
Have you spoken to your superiors about your check? That doesn’t seem right . . . or legal.
Tell your GF to wash the fucking towels for a change.
Tell her to pick up after herself.
If that pisses her off, too bad for her. You are not her mother.
Tell your employer you want a fucking cheque. Eight weeks and you haven’t said anything yet? People will treat you how you let them treat you. Stop letting them treat you like shit.
Um… about 7). You what? You picked out “great work/play outfits”?
You’ve got to be shitting me. She’s your girlfriend, not your kid. If you dress her and clean up after her, then perhaps you are not in the right relationship.
And I’d have more time because I’d be doing less laundry.
I could dismember her and weigh the good bits and the bad bits but that would be illegal.
Perhaps. It’s also partly my lack of tollerance. She’s really all that with garters and high heels. She’s great in many ways which I’ve not gone into here. I might have slightly exagerated her making plans without sharing them with me. She’s usually good about that kind of stuff. But recently, not so much. The rest, well, not a word of a lie.
Yeah. It’s in the mail. No, really. I just checked. N.B. My smart ass come backs… I’m just messing wit’cha!
Just watch out for yourself. Great sex does not a great relationship make. Now, if you’re just in it for that, great . . . have fun (just use protection!). Stockings and heels are great, my DH loves 'em!
But seriously though, does she make you happy besides all that?
Lately… not so much. But we’re going to chat about things this evening.
Don’t want to give the impression that I’m an angel here. I’m a pretty piece of work when I’m wrapped up in my own bullshit. Gotta give her props for putting up with me for that.
No one is perfect. Unusual behavior is sometimes an indication something is wrong. Find out if where her mind is, if she’s under a lot of stress, etc. Ask her to compromise on some things, like helping you around the home and picking up after herself. Maybe there’s something she doesn’t like about you . . . ?
Here’s another fine example. She called and wanted to know if I wanted to drive to her house this evening before coming back to my place. We both work 2 min from where I live and her place is about a 30-40 min drive with traffic.
I’d go but I’ve got to stick around the house because I’m expecting my ex to drop off the weekend stuff for the kids, including their bikes which won’t fit in my smaller car. When I explained why I couldn’t go and offered to have dinner ready for us, she got irritated with me and basically ended the conversation.
It’s not looking good and I quite frankly am now more irritated by her reaction than I am upset/sad by the potential outcome.
This is the gf that sits on the couch next to you and prays for you. Out loud. Right?
I dunno. My bf’s an athiest, and I’m a Protestant Christian, and if either of us tried that shit he or I would be dumped post haste.
If your life is a bit complicated right now… well, you’re making it so. Your girlfriend sounds self-centered and manipulative, and I don’t know if sex, no matter how mind-bogglingly good, is worth that kind of headache.
You’re hot. I’m sure you have no problem getting sex.
And not to sound too Dr Laura-ey, but maybe you should just focus on being a dad to your kids right now. It sounds like they’ve had enough instability for one childhood.
Well, not out loud. And it only happened that once or twice. And I’m sure it was all in jest and well meaning. <wow, gotta be carefull what I say around here! LOL!!>
Well, she’s never been married or had kids so I think it’s a bit difficult for her to relate to some of the complications in my life at this point. I give her latitude on this because she’s been patient and supportive in many other ways over the past year or so that we’ve been together. Though I think that patience is wearing thin at this point. However the demands on my time, energy and resources are not going to deminish any time soon. So something’s gotta give.
<blushing> You’ve made my day and thank you! </blushing>
The problem isn’t getting sex. The problem is that I prefer being in a commited relationship rather than trolling the bars or internet dating sites. I’ve been cursed with the monogamous gene. :smack:
You don’t have to tell me twice. That’s never stopped being my main focus. There isn’t an oppotunity to be with my kids an extra day or few hours that I miss. Sometimes that has an impact on this relationship. This weekend is a good example. Her dad is in town for a visit and she wanted me to come out with her to meet him for dinner. I really wanted to but the kids needed me as well because of the plans their mother made to drag them six hours to NC for her race. I’ve been to these races. They are no fun for 5 and 8 year olds. So I seized the opportunity to have them all weekend long. My GF is understandably upset by that. Along with the fact that I’m not fond of spending weekday nights at her place (20 mile drive) because my gym and office is 3 minutes from my house and I train early every morning before work. She thinks I hate her place. I don’t. I just hate avoidable commutes and I love my own time at the gym every morning. She’ll spend 3-4 nights at my place every week and I appreciate how big of a hassle it is to gather the wardrobe necessary for that kind of arrangement. When I suggested we might think about living together, she refused. She likes her independence as well. Which I understand. I think we’re at an impass. And she might want kids after all. But I’m done with that. Factory’s doors are welded shut.
gah!.. I’m a whiny bastard this morning… :rolleyes:
Yeah, I know. It’s like she mismatches things on purpose. :dubious:
Give it a rest folks. Women whine and complain when a guy refuses to go shopping with them. Then, when there is a guy who actually enjoys fashion and shopping and picking out outfits with their gf, suddenly that’s creepy. :smack:
Firstly, I don’t know which women you’ve been hanging out with. But I don’t know of a single woman who moans because her boyfriend won’t go clothes shopping with her.
The way you worded point 7 didn’t make it sound like you were going shopping with her and making suggestions like “I think that top would look good on you.” It sounded more like you going through her wardrobe and saying “Ok. You can wear that top with those jeans.” If that wasn’t your intention, then I apologise. If it was, then it seems overly controlling, and yes, creepy.
Look, the clothes coordination thing is done at her request. I’m really good at it and she wanted my input. She’s drop dead gorgeous in low cut jeans and a little tee, but she expressed a desire to break out of her conservative business and dressy threads. It’s not about control it’s about helping someone develop a personal sense of style. Believe it or not, not all straight guys live in jeans, running shoes and footbal jerseys. Some of us like and know how to dress with style. Plus, it’s sexy as hell to have your gf put on a fashion show for you. Try it some time with your SO. You may find you like it.
QuickSilver, the most important thing is learning to make yourself happy – not depending on someone else to do it.
I can understand S.O. making some adjustments to each other’s lifestyles to accomdate each other and maybe that is all that’s needed here. But she has a perfect right to do things her way and you have a right to do things your way. You are in control of your life and she is in control of hers.
It was cool of you to help with her wardrobe when she asked and I understand that this is something that matters to you. Since she doesn’t really try to match things up, it’s probably not important to her. (I used to get teased by my daughter because everything always matched.) She has no obligation to change for you. Can you live with it?
Can you live with her untidiness? Those habits can become fairly ingrained. Does she hassle you about being a neat freak? (Other than when you are fussing at her about picking up after her?) It’s really a preference of lifestyle, not a moral issue. And adults do this too – not just kids. If you choose to pick up after her, that’s your choice. You can also ask her nicely if she would take a few minutes to straighten up when you notice things are piling up. (But it’s her choice and you can learn a lot from the choices she makes.)
I can understand that that would be your preference. If you have let her know your feelings about it and she continues to do this, that is still her call. Again, learn from her choices.
No matter what woman you choose to have in your life for the rest of your life, she is going to have to accomodate your relationship with your children. That’s part of you and it’s important. It comes with the territory. I’m sorry that you don’t have your kids in your life every night. That must really hurt.
Then she shouldn’t have to make up an excuse. How about a second birthday dinner at a nice restaurant with you, GF, and the birthday girl? Why should she put herself in an uncomfortable situation? Is it to please your daughter or is it really to prove something to you?
Smart cookie. You two need to be talking abut the present and working out the issues of the moment. That’s what builds a future if there is going to be one.
Honestly, the reason that you’ve given for being with her doesn’t sound like anything to build a marriage on. I hope you find some peace of mind soon.
But director left and I’m on my own to figure out what’s what without support or game plan. 
