fellas, ima agree with zette. id be very upset if my SO spoke to me like that as well. just because youre feeling pouty does not give you the right to spew invective my way. good manners and respect dont have to fly out the window just because youre pitching a hissy.
if you dont feel like talking, a quick ‘i dont feel like talking; please leave me by myself for a little while’ is not too much to ask. im not a doormat for you to wipe your shitty little feet on.
please note the ‘you’ in the above statements is not directed at a particular doper; if anything, its directed at musicmistress’ pinched-up immature rude-ass boyfriend. jerk!
Well, you put that much more eloquently then I, essvee. That’s essentially what I meant. My basic premise was “Anyone who answered my honest inquiry with a “none of your fucking business” would be on the receiving end of a world of shit.”
Based on the exchange quoted, I would venture to say that the OP has worse problems in the relationship then the fact that her boyfriend doesn’t like to communicate- when he DOES communicate, it’s to swear at her? I’d call bullshit on that the first time, and there would be no second time, period. The OP makes it sound like this is standard operating procedure for him- to have a tantrum- directed at her- when he’s upset about something.
That’s what I meant, but it came out “I’d kick him in the nards.” I would probably actually kick his disrepsectful ass out to the curb, myself. There are plenty of nice, respectful, witty men who would never dream of telling you to mind your own fucking business.
Just ignore them, Zette. My first thought upon reading your comment was, “Wonder if she’s single?” I’d prefer the sudden notification that I was being an asshole to the “just ignore him” routine. Because at least with a shot to the nuts I know that I’m fucking up and need to modify my behavior. By ignoring me when I cuss you out (And what kind of idiot cusses out his girlfriend, anyway?), I have no way knowing that I’m being a shithead.
Speaking for myself, I usually know when I’m being an asshole. Further, I know when I’m going to be an asshole, which is usually when something has gone wrong and I’m in a bad mood. Which is why, when something goes wrong and I’m in a bad mood, I don’t want talk to anyone. Because I know I’m going to say or do something stupid and Zette is going to run in and kick me in the nards. So I’ll just agree with most of the other people in this thread and say, when your boyfriend says, “I don’t want to talk about it,” it means, “I don’t want to talk about it.” Trying to force him to talk about it when he doesn’t want to is only going to piss him off even more.
I don’t want to nit pick, but the OP states that his first reaction is not “I don’t want to talk about it”, but “Mind your own fucking business.” To me, that’s all the difference in the world. I agree about not pressing, but that’s hard sometimes. No need for the other person to get all pissy.
:: runs over and kicks Miller square in the nards, just because ::
In my house, if he needs to have a sulk (like the other day, when one of the hard drives crocked, and he went into a cross IT-related-sulk), I’ll let him have a sulk.
I’ll ask first “Do you want me to help, or shall I go away and let you get on with it?”. If he gives me bollocks instructions, such as “Go to such and such site and download the floppy version of X” when in fact such and such site has no X, only A and B, and no floppy versions of anything advertised as such, just a version of each for two different installation tools… then I’ll call him on it, and ask which thing I should download. If he replies with “Oh, FOR GOD’S SAKE!” and froths at the mouth, then I leave the room, with “I won’t deal with you when you are like this. I am fucking off right now.”
If he were to respond in the first place with “None of your fucking business” I would give very short, nay sub-microscopic shrift.
If you had just started dating this jer—guy and he told you to mind your own fucking business when you asked him whats the matter - you wouldnt keep dating him.
