I'm rid of the roommate

I’d been living with this girl for about half a year. We had dated a couple of times before that, but I didn’t think a serious relationship was going to happen. It seemed like we were alike in all the wrong ways for that. Seeing how my hours were getting cut back at work such that it would be hard to afford rent on this house, and she was looking for a place, I figured hell, she might as well move in and we’d see how it goes.

At first, things were going well. I’m not worth a shit at cooking, so she’d cook for me two or three times a week. We had an informal agreement that she’d buy groceries, whatever she wanted to cook, and take half out of the rent money. Really, I don’t think what I got was quite worth what she took out, but I considered that a convenience fee. I mowed the grass and we shared inside chores. It all seemed reasonably fair to me.

Then things started going downhill. I started getting fewer and fewer things to eat even though she was taking out the same amount of money. She paid every two weeks. The last two weeks, I paid $50 and got nothing. The two before that, I paid $50 and got part of a pork chop and some french fries. The two before that, I paid $100 (she said she went shopping twice) and I don’t remember what I got but it wasn’t much. I think you’d agree this is pretty ridiculous. $50 for part of a pork chop isn’t worth it even if someone else cooks it for you. Her response to all this just before moving out was that the agreement was that she’d buy groceries, not cook them. Of course that would be fine if she’d buy something I could cook. She didn’t, so I had to go to restaurants every day which cost me a lot.

Another thing was that she got lazy. Like I said, the chores were pretty evenly divided to begin with, I think. There was no formal arrangement as to who did what, but stuff got taken care of. Towards the end, I’d take care of the yard, vacuum and shampoo the carpet throughout the house (except her bedroom, that’s her domain), take the big trash can to the curb, and occasionally other things. All I asked her to do was take the bags out of the small garbage bag and put them in the big can and keep the kitchen moderately clean. It’s not like I decided she should clean the kitchen either, she said she would once when I was vacuuming and shampooing. Of course all she did was wash some of the dishes and act like she’d do the rest later, but never did. She did that twice. Just before she moved out, dishes were stacked on the stove and dryer. (I was on the verge of kicking her out anyway because that’s just nasty.) Her reason for not doing it was that I apparently treat her like my maid. I guess it’s too much to expect her to do any of the house work.

Another thing was that when she moved in, she said she had quit smoking. I’m a non-smoker so obviously I don’t want to live in a place that smells like cigarettes. Yet not long after moving in, she started smoking again in the house. I’ve been around smokers much of my life, so I can tolerate it, but my girlfriend would hardly ever come here because of the smell. In retrospect, I was too tolerant of this.

Then there was her desire to use a lot of electricity. When she first moved in, it was winter. At night, the thermostat was set to go to some low temperature (60 I think) and I’d use the small heater in my bedroom to save electricity. Well she had one too, but she ran hers any time she was home and kept it close to 80 degrees in her bedroom. I couldn’t tolerate such temperatures, but it’s just a little electric heater so I didn’t mind much. But when summer came, suddenly she became a cold-natured person, even more so than I am. I set it to 72 degrees at night because that’s pretty much the warmest temperature I can comfortably sleep at even with the ceiling fan on high. Well I figured this might actually be cold to her, but no, I’d wake up and the thing would be set to 68 or 69 degrees. She said she had to have it that cold to sleep, yet in the winter, it was about 10 degrees hotter in her room. We had a couple of heated discussions about this, especially after I got a $150 electric bill. I know that’s not much to some people, but the most I paid in this house last year was around $80. She paid a flat fee to live here and I did not calculate that high of an electric bill into the figures.

There were a lot of little things too. For instance, the driveway has a carport that’ll fit one automobile. I was parking my truck under it at the time, but told her I’d let her park under it since her car was prettier than my truck. (Hey, it’s the truth.) The only catch was that she had to park back and to the side so that when it got warmer, I could park my bike under it. The bike should have priority since it’s not enclosed. Well she forgot about this all the time and would act annoyed when I called her from the driveway and told her to move her damn car. I was plenty nice about it at first, but when it happens all the time, it gets old.

So Wednesday I sent her a not-so-nice text message (even though it was a joke, the truth would’ve been much worse) and she said she decided to move out. I just replied, “Okay,” and smiled to myself. Friday she packed all her shit and left. She expected to get her half of what she paid for the washer, but I told her as much as she ripped me off for, she could forget about that.

Now I have the decision to make about what to do next. Work has only picked up a little. I’m getting a few more hours than I used to. I think I may be able to afford living by myself while I’m getting a few hours of overtime each week, but I don’t know if it’ll last. I’m going to try it for a few weeks anyway. I hate getting a roommate I don’t know but I may have to. I would move to a cheaper place but there aren’t any cheaper places that can accomodate two labrador retrievers.

You could get a new roommate - one that you don’t know. Keep all your food separate, no one cooks or shops for anyone.

If you get the right stranger, they may be more inclined to be thoughtful about the bike/carport situation. Like, they’re nice enough to realize they get the good end of the deal.

As for housework, I’ve slowly come to find that it will end up being done by whoever can’t stand the mess first. If you like things tidy you just have to grin and bear it.

If you do get another roommate you may want to put the rules in writing. Especially the no smoking rule. I’m a smoker but I would totally flip if I had a no smoking rule and someone broke it. That shit just ain’t cool.

I’m so glad I’m past the stage of my life when I need a roommate. They are so annoying! And there’s only so much room for dead bodies out in the backyard for when they just become too much for me to take. Yes, I’m much better off living alone.

Well she wasn’t a smoker when she first moved in, so I didn’t think it was necessary. But yeah, that won’t happen again.

Yeah, one problem you’re going to have is that your whole house smells like smoke. A non-smoker who doesn’t like smoke is not going to move in, and a smoker is going to wonder why the hell you won’t let him or her smoke since it already reeks.

You mentioned a girlfriend - are you at a point in your relationship where moving in together might be an option? It’s certainly a huge step, and maybe one you don’t want to take at this point, but it could save you some cash.

That’s complicated. For one, it’s not really a huge step from my perspective, as long as we have separate bedrooms. That’s not to say it won’t be much different, but I think I can handle it. On the other hand, she views it as practically being married, and we’re nowhere near that yet. That’s a big change from last year when she wanted to move across the state and take me with her and I wanted time to consider it. For another, she just signed a lease so she’s not going to move out without a damn good reason. Her house is pretty far from my job so what I’d save I’d end up spending on fuel. And she’s likely to move to Houston soon (a damn good reason I guess). I don’t know how that’s going to go down.