Dude, do not rebound date. We all get the desire to do so and you certainly wouldn’t be the first person in history to jump into dating out of loneliness and/or sadness. Shit, I’ve done it and it was dumb. Suck it up, and figure your shit out before you try another relationship. The rebound play is not good for you and, as you acknowledge, no one wants to date some dude with an airport’s load of baggage. Take a deep breath, and if you ever long for human companionship before you get your head on straight, fuck the need away. If you’re not up for a shag, completely immerse your time in everything there is to do. I joined my first gym and learned to sew after my d-bag husband split. It won’t make it better, but keeping busy helps a little.
Do not rebound date. If you do, I’ll find out and I’ll slap you.
Actually, I’d like to rescind my advice because dude isn’t going to listen. As I’m not a fan of dishing advice on one of the few things I know about to a brick wall, my new advice is “Date whatever presents itself.” Have at it.
I really need direct advice like this right now. My brain seems unreliable. Here’s a question: I am doing my best to keep busy, exercise, and hang out with good friends and family…am I avoiding dealing with the sadness? Is there anything else I can do? I often think that because I’m not crying all the time I am being cold (though I do cry sometimes)
Yes, you are avoiding dealing with the sadness, which is the point. I don’t know about you, but I don’t get any joy out of, nor do I see any purpose in, sitting around thinking about how sad I am and what went wrong. If it’s over, it’s over, it sucks, and I want to take mind off of it as best I can. For me, keeping busy helps some, in part because alone time means my mind will wander to The Bad Place, and focusing keeps my mind on what’s in front of or around me, and not whatshisface. If something consumes you, you can never take your mind off it entirely, sure, but distractions do help. Yup, it’ll suck. But then it won’t anymore.
Put it this way. Would you want to date some girl who just broke up with her live-in boyfriend of three years LAST WEEK? Of course not, because that sends up a forest of red flags and warning signs.
Chill. Girls will still be there next month or next year.
Housecleaning, alcohol, and meaningless sex. After you’ve hooked up with three or a dozen one nighters, throw in a revolting nostalgia fuck with the ex. Works every time.
I used to not believe that too much, but I had a FWB fling last fall that was the perfect remedy from my break-up that had occurred in spring (and was her remedy from a break-up she’d just gone through). Served as a great palate cleanser for the both of us.
