Can I make another suggestion? Don’t start by talking to girls you think are cute, or girls you like, or girls who you have a hunch might not find you repulsive. See, you have to build up to that.
Start by talking to girls at random. Well, not random. But start by talking to girls you don’t find particularly attractive, girls you know you’re never ever going to go out with (for whatever reason), girls who work cash registers, girl bus drivers, girls you have nothing in common with, girls you don’t care about. Don’t be a jerk, don’t be an idiot, don’t practice pickup lines, just practice small talk. Pretty soon you might be able to say “Hello” to women you actually have a shot with.
I’m pretty damn shy, but I notice that I have no trouble talking to women now that I’m married and not interested in a relationship with any of them.
:eek:
Well, I guess I can say that I don’t bowl but do have a strong grip .
I’ve dranked occasionally, but I don’t want it to be like Henry Morgan’s crutch, where it was a regular thing so that he could open up socially. I’ll admit it works, but mainly at a bar type setting. I wouldn’t want to spend my life buzzed…“Time to go grocery shopping, better get a martini first in case the cashier’s friendly”.
And troublemaker, I understand your point. That sounds a lot like me in a nutshell (err…bad metaphor in this thread) but I’ve seen and realized the lasiez faire attitude isn’t going to take me where I need to go. I just need to get over the initial “meeting shyness” then I open up too.
If you find your shyness interfering with your enjoyment of life, as apparently you do, there definitely are things you can do. Self-hypnosis (or self-talk), imagery, and meditation can all help you to control your body’s responses, like heart rate, blushing, all those lovely things. You can learn to come across as confident and outgoing even if that’s not your basic nature. Alot of research has been done in this area.
I agree that there are times when it’s not ideal to be shy, like when you’re trying to meet people. But don’t think it’s a character flaw when it’s actually a trait. That you can deal with but will probably always be there.
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