As for being specific, I stive to be “well rounded” if you have not heard that one before… anyway, I like to keep active, I guess you could call that my positve thing, but I change up what I’m active with as much as possible… Like I used to play tennis every single day… it ruled my life… then I moved on to golf and basically quit tennis all together… but I’m still very good at tennis… but for the time I was playing golf, my life was about being damned good at golf, and therefore that’s all I did. For a breif spell it was even bowling… but I realy could not get in to it. So that’s what I mean by well rounded. I try to keep everything as good as I can… but never really a master at any of them.
Some folks from many years back in Eastern Greenland were way ahead of you on this one:
Hoebel, E. Adamson. The Law of Primitive Man: A Study in Comparative Legal Dynamics. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1967, at p. 83, http://orion.oac.uci.edu/~dbell/hoebel.pdf : “. . . join in the game of putting out the lamp – various couples mill around in a darkened iglu seeking a partner of the opposite sex; when the lamp is lighted a man goes home for the night with whatever partner the grab-bag has produced . . . .”
See also: Birket-Smith, Kaj. Eskimos (original title: Eskimoerne). New York: Crown Publishers, 1971, at p. 158.
My guess is that you are fibbing because you don’t want it known that your are hot.
You are trying so hard to be what you perceive to be a “well-rounded” person that you aren’t anything at all. Several posters have asked you to talk about who you are, but you can’t because you are only concerned with the superficial. You are not self-aware; you see yourself only as you believe others see you.
You need to get away from the frat boys and the keggers and find out who you are. Do something that interests you. It doesn’t matter if your frat brothers laugh at you because you’re interested in cooking (for example). You need to develop your own personality and you’ll find that you’ll meet women who care about more than your hair and your car.
My guess: women are attracted to you but they find you boring. So they leave.
I won’t say that I agree with isthatsowrong?'s assessment entirely, but I think it might be pretty close. You seem kind of ambiguous, if you don’t mind my saying so.
That can be tough to deal with, but I think you need to get away from everything for awhile and do some growing. I think you need to do a lot of thinking about issues and figure out where you stand on some things, read some philosophy and develop your view of the world a bit more. Do some serious personal investigation.
Well, unless you meet a woman who is as much of a sports enthusiast as you are, I think I see a potential problem.
So, other than tennis or other sports, do you have other interests? I know you probably brought up sports as just one example, but I think it was a pretty telling example, to be perfectly honest. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is wrong with sports, but it does sometimes make women’s eyes glaze over with boredom. Any other interests or hobbies that you can demonstrate or talk about? Do you have an artistic or creative side? Do you enjoy reading books and discussing them with others? Discussing (not in a superficial way) the latest films? I confess, the “frat boy” persona can get a little stale and dull after a while. Not that I am saying that you are that way—I’m just saying that so far, you are not giving us much information that contradicts the frat boy image.
You mention that you were always faithful to your girlfriends—that’s a commendable quality, definitely, and I’m glad to hear it. But what about other aspects of your personality? What do you appreciate, and what do you honestly think that people see in you?
People, either potential girlfriends or just any potential friend, have to stay intellectually stimulated by the people around them, as well as feel comfortable that the people around them are interesting and of good character. And things like being a good listener, emotionally supportive, having empathy, having a wicked sense of humor, sense of spontenaity, spirit of adventure, willingness to learn new things, humility, etc.—these are also qualities that people value.
I’m not saying you don’t have these qualities—I have no idea. But as Cosmopolitan says, you seem kind of ambiguous, as if you don’t even have a clue how to articulate what your qualities are. So I think some soul-searching would be in order.
Well, unless you meet a woman who is as much of a sports enthusiast as you are, I think I see a potential problem.
So, other than tennis or other sports, do you have other interests? I know you probably brought up sports as just one example, but I think it was a pretty telling example, to be perfectly honest. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is wrong with sports, but it does sometimes make women’s eyes glaze over with boredom. Any other interests or hobbies that you can demonstrate or talk about? Do you have an artistic or creative side? Do you enjoy reading books and discussing them with others? Discussing (not in a superficial way) the latest films? I confess, the “frat boy” persona can get a little stale and dull after a while. Not that I am saying that you are that way—I’m just saying that so far, you are not giving us much information that contradicts the frat boy image.
You mention that you were always faithful to your girlfriends—that’s a commendable quality, definitely, and I’m glad to hear it. But what about other aspects of your personality? What do you appreciate, and what do you honestly think that people see in you?
People, either potential girlfriends or just any potential friend, have to stay intellectually stimulated by the people around them, as well as feel comfortable that the people around them are interesting and of good character. And things like being a good listener, emotionally supportive, having empathy, having a wicked sense of humor, sense of spontenaity, spirit of adventure, willingness to learn new things, humility, etc.—these are also qualities that people value.
I’m not saying you don’t have these qualities—I have no idea. But as Cosmopolitan says, you seem kind of ambiguous, as if you don’t even have a clue how to articulate what your qualities are. So I think some soul-searching would be in order.
Cosmopolitan?
Nope, 'twas not I who said that. But thanks.
Okay, so, first things first: I apologize, Thaidog for the snarky tone of my last post - maybe even my last couple posts; I should’ve found a better way to say what I wanted to.
That having been said, lemme address the comments that you posted to me:
Do I really think that you think all women are gold diggers? Ehhhh… Probably not, when you’re thinking more clearly, but that’s the vibe that was coming across at me for most of the thread.
Nah, dude. I’m kinda confused as to where that’s coming from - maybe the attitude I apologized for?
[QUOTE]
Are you tryin to justify your own cocky attitude?* How’m I being cocky? Yes, I was a bit snotty, but I truly don’t see where I was cocky.
[QUOTE]
Look, I don’t have time to front with you. I’m simply saying I have been frustrated by the fact I can not find a “perfect women”. I know they don;t exisit, but hell where do you draw the line? Why do we have to do all the guess work?
[QUOTE]
Nor do I have time to front; I understand that you’re frustrated. Where you “draw the line” is where you end up after you explore yourself, what it is that you need from a relationship, what it is that you want from one, and how you might get those things. I assure you that a majority of women go through the same process.
Good luck.
Aw shit. Lemme try that again. I’m a moron & previewing is a good thing.
In its’ entirety, from the last “good” quote:
Nah, dude. I’m kinda confused as to where that’s coming from - maybe the attitude I apologized for?
How’m I being cocky? Yes, I was a bit snotty, but I truly don’t see where I was cocky.
Nor do I have time to front; I understand that you’re frustrated. Where you “draw the line” is where you end up after you explore yourself, what it is that you need from a relationship, what it is that you want from one, and how you might get those things. I assure you that a majority of women go through the same process.
Sorry, Cosmopolitan, you hadn’t appeared on this page yet, and I was thinking, “That the worst butchering my name has taken so far!”
It makes more sense now. ::slaps yosemitebabe on the hand:: 
Well, now nobody knows who the hell I am… try, try again…
At least you & I know who you are, Copaesthetic. 
Now, go read what advice Zoe gave you. I think the two are giving you the best advice, but that doesn’t mean that you haven’t been getting lots of other good advice on this thread. IMHO, much better than your posts have deserved.
Who makes a six-figure income and uses phrases like “homie” and “front with you”?
In fairness, I was the one who commented that he should say “Homie don’t play that”, with regard to a particular situation (it’s from an ‘In Living Color’ skit - Homie the Clown).
First off, this is Copa’s wife checking in (not him forgetting to log me off first, as happened above).
The responsibility for that lies on no one’s shoulder but your own. You are not going to find meaning in another human being. It seems to me that you’re looking for someone to just drop into your life and create that meaning. If your life has become superficial, it’s because you alone have made the decisions that brought you to that point.
So … you’re telling me that the hundreds of millions of average guys all over the surface of the planet don’t get laid ever?!
Suit yourself, then. What’s the point of this thread, in that purpose?
Waitaminute, I thought you didn’t need one at all? You’re confusing me.
If all you’re looking for is a woman who will love you unconditionally without putting up something to offer her in return, then I hate to say it but your answer is a resounding no.
It’s probably for the best, really. Some people just aren’t emotionally equipped for the whole oh, you know, actually caring about others thing.
Seriously, hon, it sounds like you’ve let your cyncism get the best of you. Others here have offered some wonderful advice, but the best I can tell you is that if you’re so incredibly miserable with your own situation, how the hell do you expect any woman to want to share that with you? You can’t find someone willing to give of themselves to you unless you are willing to do the same, and from what I can tell you don’t have very much to offer (and I’m not talking material posessions). You’ve got a lot of growing up to do, and you sound like you don’t really know who or what you are.
Yes, there are wonderfully bright, vibrant, intelligent, and ::gasp!:: beautiful women who might just give you a chance, provided you’re a worthwhile human being. The thing is, though, bitterness isn’t very attractive.
Not all beautiful women go ga-ga over guys with lots of money, and the poor character traits you’ve come into contact from the women who would cheat on you or leave you for someone else may perhaps indicate that you’re looking for the wrong kinds of women. You say you want a hot chick, well hon, if that’s all you’re interested in why complain when there are flaws that are more than surface deep? By that same token, why not look for women who are loyal and trustworthy and good companions regardless of their physical appearance?
You said earlier that you’d like to think of yourself as honest and loyal, but you’ve never actually been tested. You’ve already admitted that should the time come, you’re not sure if you could control yourself. Temptation is not something that just happens. I mean, the situation itself may, but your reaction is not something that is out of your control. No matter how tempting the situation may be, your response is always 100% under your control. It sounds like you’ve already resigned yourself to letting the possibility of giving in to temptation enter your head, and that to me does not indicate a man of integrity. If that assessment is correct, then I could understand how you would have difficulty finding a woman of high standards, when you yourself don’t seem to hold yourself to said same.
With all due respect and with much love, I seriously cannot believe that there isn’t a woman out there who would someday fulfill what you desire, but first you’ve got to stop letting your bitterness and cynicism rule your actions, and instead start becoming that which you hope to attract.
Where’s an idea women: Instead of picking apart very last thing I say here you could give warm helpful encourgarment… Other wise, your just fule for the fire and therefore you can go fuck yourself. Thanks for te rminder of yet another reason not to date.
Do I really have to tell you?
I give up. I give up. Haven’t you noticed, after 166 posts, that the SDMB isn’t the place to come for a mindless “Atta boy!”?
Point the First: You come off as being very bitter, angry, & possibly misogynistic. Exhibition of this attitude doesn’t generally make people want to help you.
Point the Second: Some of us have offered suggestions (in kind tones of voice) to help you move past this problem; they’ve encouraged you in that way. And yes, some of us think that you’re indeed contributing to or causing your own problem.
If you wanted someone to just say “Buck up, kiddo!” without suggesting ways in which to improve your lot or opining about the reason that you’re in the straits you’re in, you came to the wrong place. That being said, I still wish you luck - I hope that you can work your way past the bitterness you feel.