Well, Queen Tonya, on the upside…He won’t reproduce.
[Kelly Bundy] The mind wobbles. [/Kelly Bundy]
F’n coding. You know what I meant.
Better to not want to bring another male in to the hell exisitance I call life… but there is always that chance it’ll be a girl… which obvious;y would be worse since they cause the issu in the first place.
Good grief! Overreact much? Misunderstand much? There’s a reason I used a 
<—winky smiley by that comment. I WAS KIDDING. Yeesh. You are too much work sometimes, m’dear.
About what? By suggesting that maybe there are other attractive (and yet honest and decent) women out there that you’ve overlooked? I thought I was giving you good news! No, really. I thought I was! 
So you are saying that all women are insencere gold diggers? All women? Not just the “hot babe” and “slightly less hot chicks”? I don’t believe you.
Why don’t you admit it? You don’t want to “settle” for (your words) “slightly less hot chicks”? Because that’s all it’s about for you, isn’t it?
Or do you sincerely want a solution to your problem? Because the solution is really very simple. And it’s got everything to do with you.
And I don’t know if you are grasping what I mean when I describe attractive. Attractive is something that maybe sneaks up on you. It isn’t always “Oh my gosh—she is so HOT!” but it’s just as nice (probably more so) and it lasts.
For instance, have you ever known someone in real life (or just seen someone on TV) and your first impression was that she was “so-so”? And did you ever discover that later on, this person grew on you? That what you at first considered ordinary or average was actually quite appealing and spectacular? Or do you always have a first impression of someone, and this impression never deviates or changes? Never?
Because if you never change your perception of someone, my goodness, you are in the vast minority. Actually, I’d think you are a minority of one. I’m forever changing my mind (good and bad) about people, movies, music, books, politics—just about everything. Something may seem appealing at first, but the more I learn about it (or about them) the more turned off I am by it. And vice-versa. Someone who seems average, ordinary or even unappealing can seem downright spectacular after a while. Because the qualities that this person has—their best qualities—are not the ones that are immediately obvious. But they are there, they are very real, and discovering them can be quite enjoyable.
No one is expecting you to “settle” for someone who doesn’t turn you on. All I (and others here) are suggesting is that “attractive” is a broad term, and that “attractive” (inside and out) is something that you may find great delight in, if you give it a chance. Of course, the other thing you must remember is that to be worthy of “attractive” women, you must do a major attitude change. Because “attractive” women are not chumps, they are not pushovers, and they won’t “settle” for a guy who thinks that all women are lying bitches and gold diggers. And “attractive” women don’t need to waste time with a man who can’t comprehend what “attractive” really is, because such women will always have plenty of men ready and willing to appreciate them as they are.
Thaidog, I think your initial instinct to back off from relationships with women may be a good idea for a while anyway. You said that every single part of your life has become superficial and that your relationships with women is just part of that.
Don’t worry about what your friends and your parents think. Spend some time thinking about what you want your life to be like and about how you will accomplish those things. Think about what you have to offer in a relationship and about what you reallywant. (If you find that it is still superficial, look for other answers.)
Ask yourself lots of questions. Work out what you really feel. Example: Does a guy really have a good reason to be angry when his girl talks or flirts with another guy at a party? If so, why? What does it accomplish? Can he choose his feelings and decide not to be angry?
Just a hint: Don’t try to make anyone else responsible for your feelings. Don’t give them that much control! Don’t rent them space in your head!
You are going to be fine. Good times come and go. Learn from both. You are not going to believe how many different people you will become over the next half century and more! You’re just getting started and you’ve hit a rough place.
Originally posted by yosemitebabe:
I think we have a winner!!!
I think that is what he’s saying; he’s basing the theory on his own (seemingly very limited) experience.
IOW, I agree with you, yosemitebabe: He wants a typically gorgeous woman, but from his experience, they generally hang out in the shallow end of the pool. Yet, he wants that model type. He’s irritated that he seemingly can’t have it all & doesn’t wanna consider that gee, maybe there’s another, equally attractive (pardon the sorta-kinda pun) option.
I’m so f’in glad I’m not hot.
Do you really think I think all women are gold diggers? Or are you trying to push me? Are you perhaps trying to humiliate me? Are you tryin to justify your own cocky attitude? Look, I don’t have time to front with you. I’m simply saying I have been frustrated by the fact I can not find a “perfect women”. I know they don;t exisit, but hell where do you draw the line? Why do we have to do all the guess work?
yosemitebabe… my bad. I’m not in my right mind right now. I perhaps misread your comment. It was just funny… it not only happened to me last night, but a good friend got the other end of the stick last night, also bad… Good thing was he was drunk.
If you poke me I will bleed.
Yeah… now you’re pushing it.
That’s the point right there. Good work. Hey, if a girl I’m with or a girl another guy is with can’t control themselves, hey, that’s an issue that will come to light soon enough. But if it’s done for some whack reason like, “I like to see him get angry” or “I can control him like this” or whatever way a women likes to knock a man’s ego… then you know why I’m posting this. I just think that any young professional person should be able to mask their feelings good enough to not make it a scene and if they have to pursue it elsewhere at a different time.
I don’t hate women in general, just in this aspect. I have plenty of girl “friends” and we joke all the time… but when it’s go time, you should know the rules.
Now… if the man is bad and needs his ego knocked, that’s another thing entirely, obviously
Then… you… understand why I won’t be dating for a while then?
Go girl… it takes a real women to drive a Geo Metro. Say, what are you doing after this thread?
Damn… I guess your Austrailian for Love?
In your OP, you said that without all the money and whatnot, you’re just a normal guy and would never get laid. Let’s take another look at that.
If this is true, stripped of the cash and trappings and all that, I think you need to reevaluate yourself as a person. Do you really offer anything that a woman might want, besides the money? I’m not trying to judge you, I’m just having trouble telling from my extremely limited experience with you here.
Good looks doesn’t count BTW, since you’ll never win any sort of loyalty with them, they’re fairly well equivalent to the money. Do you have ideals that a woman might admire? Any sort of character or personal strengths?
I certainly can’t fault you for being attracted to hot chicks, that’s why they call them hot after all. I’ve found, personally, that there’s no limit to the number of hot chicks you can find who are both loving and loyal, intelligent, kind, strong, willful and passionate, etc. provided you are a man of ideals and personal strength. YMMV with this principle, but woman are invariably and strongly attracted to men of this kind more than any other I’ve found.
The other factor you may be overlooking, although I have no experience with the women you date, is that the men that they cheat with and leave you for may be these sort of men. It’s not unuasual for wealthy men to be people of good character, ambitious, strong and also of strong ideals. People like that tend to rise to the top. Even people who start off at the top often have to be of this type, in order to avoid dropping to the bottom like rocks. People hate to admit that, but weak willed morons don’t tend to get, or stay, rich for long.
So, from a personal assessment standpoint, if your house burned to the ground, you lost your job, and a lawsuit wiped you out financially, would you, as you stand naked on your front lawn, burn scars from head to toe, still have something to offer a woman, and what would that be?
Hmmm… I guess it depends on the woman. Not too sure. That’s to be judged from a woman’s standpoint I guess. But I would hope there would be “something”. But of course, that once again depends on the woman. I hate to think a woman would love me simply to take advantage of some weakness or charater flaw… which is obviously what started this thread. But then again what is considered a weakness or charater flaw is somewhat subjective in that I’ve seen instances where some people did not care that a woman loved them for… what I conidered “unnatural” or whatnot. I guess what I’m saying is that perhaps what a woman loves me for I might wish they did not… which could cause an awkward relationship. So basically I fold and hope that there is a woman that perhaps loves the same things I do… which is a longshot, but hey, somehow possible.
I get what you’re saying, but in a general sense it doesn’t depend on the woman. Not the kind you’re looking for, which is a loyal woman who will love you for who you are.
Are you, for example, loyal to the person you are dating? Honest to them and anyone you happen to meet for the most part? Caring, compassionate?
Are you active in any way, in the sense of political beliefs, religion, personal contributions of time and effort to a local group, or charity?
I’ll start:
I’m a republican, a christian, a martial artist, I work with animals and generally enjoy their company. I read several books each week, and enjoy spending time with children.
I have both physical and mental goals for myself, and pursue these through exercise, rigid diet and learning, including higher education. I hold myself to a strict policy of honesty and loyalty to my friends and coworkers. I hold myself to an absolute policy of honesty and trust to my spouse.
I value human life, and attempt to aid those around me as best I can. I am a patriot, and a strong believer in my country. I tend to be shy upon first meeting someone. I am an ambitious person and attempt to provide for my family as best I can. I am an idealist, and a willful person.
Thaidog: You mean you can’t come up with a specific, tangible quality that would attract a woman to you, sans money and good looks? Are you sure you don’t want to give it another shot, rather than hemming and hawing and calling that special something that you possess just a vague “something”?
Because hell! Even in my “oh-my-gosh-I’m-such-a-slug” worst self-esteem in the WORLD phase, I could come up with a few good lovable qualities about myself. Like being able to make decent marinara sauce from scratch, or being a big cat lover, or being able to recognize all the symphonies by Jean Sibelius, or something like that. And if even I (pitiful as I sometimes perceive myself) can think of a few things, why can’t you?
Come on. You aren’t really giving us much to work with here.
I should clarify that by ‘work with animals’ I didn’t mean I’m a veterinarian or anything. I was a dog trainers helper, and I now come into contact with animals in a non-professional way, albeit regularly. I train my own dogs, and spend a great deal of time with other people’s animals and such.
Well God, I would hope so… but then again I have not been put in postions that would make me not loyal or honest for the most part. It’s really hard for me to, if you will, “put it out there” on the internet simply because of the audience nature and possible exposure situation. I’ll put it to you this way, I never have ever once cheated on any of my girlfriends. Never. Could it all go up in smoke tomorrrow? Possibly. God I hate that word “possibly”. Like tomorrow, I’ll find a sweet innocent woman, she’ll fall in love with me, and bamm! there’s this indenect proposal from the hotest woman on the planet and damned if i can’t control myself… or something. Anyway… But that is funny… me and my frineds always joke about being hot where all of a sudden 20 million girls want to date you and now you’re stuck with this one chick… and it turns out that she’s the ugliest and you look like an idiot… It just keeps going, but you get the point.
And to point out I have a good amount of “expeience” as it was put earlier that I had none… So I have been faithful to all of these women… Well let me ask you people, just what is a lot of expeirence and what isn’t? I don’t have it chalked up above my bed posts, but hey, I’m not a porn start either.