I'm thinking of quitting paid employment

I’m looking for a reality / sanity check please, and peoples’ experiences.

This is a sort of stream-of-consciousness post (no, I haven’t been drinking) so it rambles a bit.

The background: my elderly aunt is in a nursing home recovering from two heart attacks and a stroke. My father, who is also elderly, has been working on her house (think Miss Haversham), but it’s really beyond him. My brother and his family are not in range. It so happens that where I work are offering voluntary redundancy. I’d get 6 months salary for leaving. I’d be fully occupied with getting her house ready for her return in late spring / early summer and there’s my own house to be rented out or sold too. Then I’d be looking for part-time work (this may not be possible) while managing her affairs and looking after her. Her medium and long-term survival is anyone’s guess: they say the guttering candle lasts the longest.

The problem, part 1: I’d be giving up a job that I enjoy and pays well and has nlmost no commute but isn’t going anywhere - but then I’ve got to be realistic and admit that I’m not going to be the next Dell or Gates or Trump or Murdoch.

The problem, part 2: there’s an inheritance, which needs defending. Her house is worth money simply by its location. She’s been burgled several times. Last time, they stole my father’s long-case clock. Someone needs to be there to prevent squatters.

The problem, part 3: she’s a smoker, and while she’s not smoking at the moment, she has stated that she will restart when she gets home. Quite rightly, she’s been refused an oxygen cylinder because of this. I’m terrified that she’ll fall asleep with a lit cigarette and burn the house down, with everyone (including myself) in it. There’s already been one near-incident.

The problem, part 4: I simply do not know the effects of a longer-term break on my employability (I’m 40).

I love my aunt, and someone needs to do something. I’m the obvious choice. My father is putting a lot of pressure on me; more comes from my conscience. But I look in the mirror and wonder if I am martyring myself. Am I up to the job? I feel it’s the right choice and the correct choice but it’s a massive leap for me.

I think you would know within a few months if the situation wasn’t going to be possible in the long run. With 6 months salary, I imagine you would still have time to look around the job market while buying your family some time to find an alternate arrangement for your aunt.

I don’t know how to address issues 2 & 3. As for 4, this wouldn’t be a vacation; if a potential employer asked about the gap in employment, you could explain that taking care of your aunt was your job (priority, whatever fits best) for a time.

My 2 cents.

Decision day is Monday…

How likely is it that voluntary redundancy is going to eventually become forced redundancy? And how likely are you to be one of the forceably redundant?

Another thing to consider, since you mentioned the inheritance: Make sure that whatever your expectations of inheritance are, they are clearly stated and agreed to by all those who might be affected. If taking this time off and taking care of your aunt’s affairs makes you feel like you deserve extra consideration when it comes time to divide up the assets and the rest of those in line don’t agree, you’ve got a perfect familial storm brewing.

Well, I have been, so there! I can do that. Any night I want, because I quit paid employment! Hooray!

First thought: Are you from England? Cause I don’t understand half what your talking about! You people on that island better start speaking English. :wink:

Okay, really: If you can support yourself, do it! No sense in wasting your life making other people wealthy. You mentioned inheritance. Consider it a pension. Your new “job” is taking care of (who was it?) Auntie and Dad. The hours are great and the commute is cake! They ain’t gonna live forever, but while they are here, you can help them by helping yourself.

A true “win-win” situation. Now, CARRY ON THEN!