I didn’t know your last name was ‘Beneficiary’; are you related to the West Hampton Beneficiarys?
[joey] How is it that “Nigeria” is not a filter-out keyword for 99% of humanity’s email, I’ll never know. [/joey]
You know, sometimes I’m very very glad my grandpa never got online: not only was he gullible enough to pay a lot of money to some ‘builders’ for ‘fixing the roof’ without them even climbing up the ladder, he spent quite a lot of time in Nigeria, and had several old Nigerian friends he’d lost touch with.
If you’re wondering who would fall for this sort of stuff…
I had one of those back in November. They were gonna send a letter to the mayor of my city and confiscate all the funds in my bank account. I was directed to send a payment to a lawyer in Nigeria, or some such.
I saved the letter because it’s hilarious. I can dig it up again if someone wants it.
I believe Sam’s Club sells Tide with bleach. That should take care of your Money Laundry problems.
Have you seen the 419 scammers, who scam the scammers back? Amazing 
Come clean.
THE BOXES HAS BEEN CONFISCATED.
Really?
Aw, come on man!
Wait, so are you being investigated for tax evasion or money laundry?
I would have to email them back. Maybe beg and plead and tell them that you will do anything to stay out of prison? Maybe tell them that you will be in Washington next week and what office in the Hoover Building should you meet them? Tell them that you filed the documents with the FATF and you want your goddamned money released immediately? Tell them that the Supreme Court just struck down Section 229 of the Tax Payment Constitution and that he and his wife can both suck your dick…
I could have a lot of fun with that one. 
Tell them they can has cheeseburger.
When I launder money, I only use CHEER! With BrightGuard! (And Cold water…don’t want the ink to run!)
We’ve done it here too. At least Mangetout has. Fun and Games with Austin Wemba.
I wish I was getting millions of dollars rather than this. I’ve been on the run from Mr. Henry Missick (at gmail.com) since November 2010. It’s really taken a toll on my fortune.
Hello
I am very sorry for you my friend ,It is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see there is no need for me introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to (KILL YOU ) and I have to do it as I have already want to be paid for .Someone you call a Friend want's you Dead by all means, and the person want to spent a lot of money on this,the person also came to us and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name,picture and other necessary information's we needed about you. So I have sent my boy's to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or not.since we have find out that you are innocent. I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn't tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you. Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As the person want to offer us $50,000 to kill you,before i ask my boys to investigate more on the matter then after much investigation they came to tell me that you are innocent so i decided to mail you to know if you still need your life and if you still need it..You will have to pay some fees to spare your life,$25,000 is all you need to spend then I will send a tape to you which i recorded every discussion i had with the person who wanted you dead and as soon as you get the tape,If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up...
WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW.REMEMBER,SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, IN CASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY. MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION… GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.
THANKS
You’d better do as he says or it will LEAD YOU INTO PROBLEM.
Having worked in Nigeria and other overseas sites, my colleagues and I get these tempting offers on a semi-monthly basis. We will pass them around and compare the content, marveling at the torturous path the author took to get to the point. My personal favorite and unique to the normal letters dealing with Nigerian lawyers, tells the sad story of young Edward Hunt.
Hello
I am Edward HuntI am 14 years old I live in Manchester(UK) before my father died, now I live with my mother in Ireland. my father is from Manchester UK and my mother is from Ireland. My late father Mr. Hunt Martin has a big Real Estate company in Manchester before he died in a car accident last year July 25th 2005. he left 10 Million (Ten Million Pounds) in his account before he died. The 10Million millions is in (Union National Bank UK)
I have been trying to collect the money from (Union National Bank UK) but the account operator told me to go and look for some one honest and old enough to help me collect the 10 Million (Ten Million Pounds) I could have told my mother to assist me in collecting the 10Million but my mother and father where divorced before my father died and my father told me not to have anything to do with my mother, I don’t even want her to know about this because what my father told me before he died was correct, now that I stay with my mother in Ireland she doesn’t take care of me all she dose is to take hard drugs and to bring men to the house and she always hit me.
I don’t want to have anything to do with her, I just want some one old enough and honest to help me collect the 10Million from the bank as I am too young to take control of 10Million. Please I need your help, if you can assist me to collect the 10Million from the bank I will give you 30% and take 70%. I have all documents in my name you can confirm from the bank. I am indeed the Next of Kin to my late father Mr. Edward Hunt Martin.
The account operator (Union National Bank UK) told me to look for some body that is honest and old enough so that he can send the 10Million to the persons account as soon as possible.
If you can help me I will contact the account operator (Union National Bank UK) and tell him that I have found an honest person who is willing to help me collect the 10Million, so when you contact him he will know I sent you.
I will give you is contact so you can contact him to enable him send the 10Million to your provided account immediately Please help me. I will be waiting for your urgent reply so I can give you the contact of the bank and send you the last statement of account of my late father and I will also send you my picture and my birth certificate. Please help me reply back on this email: << contained a hotmail account in Spain >> so I can send you all information’s you need.
Best Regards
Edward Hunt
Evidently, Mum was an amoral dope fiend and he needed my help to get out of Ireland. Because of its uniqueness, I replied to Master Edward just so I could see a picture and the copy of his birth certificate. My first request was met with a grainy picture of a young boy in a school uniform and a request for USD 100 to pay the state office that provides copies of such documents. Although I clearly lack the superb talents of Richard Dastardly, Esq., we went back and forth a bit more before I lost interest. I trust young Edward found some way to gain his rightful inheritance and escape the horrors of life in Ireland with Mummy. I assume Manchester is a far better place for him.
Ten million millions!? You better jump right on the DrumBum, you don’t get offered ten trillion pounds everyday! My favorite part about that is how he misspells his own name in the first sentence.
Yeah Baracus.. who’s the Robert Mueller guy.. he’s always in this spam.. I wonder if he was some anglo who pissed a lot of Nigerian off so they use him like the term/phrase 'John Brown"..or John Doe..
If their is really a Robert Mueller.. he can’t be happy about this.. lol
Robert Mueller is the current head of the FBI. Someone is using his name to make this letter appear more genuine.
Assuming this is not a whoosh, Robert Mueller is the current director of the FBI.