I’m a little fuzzy on if this would be more appropriate for IMHO or MPSIMS. Mods, my apologies if this needs to be moved.
As a result of an odd dream I had last night (long story, and “I had this really weird dream last night” stories can be a real bore) I had a thought. What would the world be like if it were governed by the rules, beliefs, and superstitions of childhood?
Here’s some of mine:
[ul]
[li]Cracks in pavement are cemented over on a daily basis, lest we break our mothers’ backs.[/li][li]Men and women have incompatible cooties that must be sugically removed in order to propagate the species.[/li][li]Belching and talking about bodily functions at the dinner table is okay. Going right from “double dog dare” to “triple dog dare”, thus bypassing “triple dare” is a serious social infraction.[/li][li]Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are all very real and powerful figures in the world.[/li][li]Everyone is wary of closets and the area under the bed at night, but everyone also knows they are safe from the monsters when completely covered by blankets.[/li][li] Insanity pleas are not nearly as common in court as the “He Who Smelt It, Delt It” defense and “He Started It.” Particularly skilled lawers break their witnesses down on the stand with “I’m not touching you!”[/li][/ul]
What are the rules and beliefs from your childhood that went away with age? What would our world be like if they all remained/became true?
Iorek
Of course, if the prosecutor is just as skilled at the “He Who Denied It, Supplied It” argument, then the whole thing could come down to who can win at the “Did not!” “Did too!” level.
[ul]
[li]Vegetables and fruit would be banned. (With the possible excpetion of corn on the cob)[/li][li]Bedtime wouldn’t exist. (Everyone knows it’s only adults that actually require sleep)[/li][li]Vehicular traffic should be diverted off every street where a stickball or touch football game is being played (No more need for the: “Car, car, C.A.R. stick your head in a jellyjar” chant[/li][li]Meterologists would be instructed to invent a way to eliminate all rain in Summer and make every Winter day snowy[/li][/ul]
If you see someone really attractive at a bar, you would walk up to him or her, and sock’em really hard in the shoulder.
If in a business meeting two people say the same thing and the same time, the second person to yell “pepsi!” would have to be silent, or pay the punishment of a sock in the shoulder. Two for flinching.
And watermelon. Watermelon would definitely be allowed.
Instead of the highest bidder, a house would go to the first buyer who calls dibs. (Househunting? Me? How could you tell?)
“Liar, liar, pants on fire!” would become just cause for impeachment of government officials (heh. If nothing else, we’d end up with a whole new congress).
Cookies would be a perfectly acceptable dinner.
Fast food would be allowed on any evening, it doesn’t matter if you had it for lunch.
Houses on Halloween would be supplied with huge bags of delicious candy, and it is a law that you have to decorate your house all scary, but not too scary.
Cartoons should be on almost every channel, and news shows are outlawed.
No child should have to go to school. People will just be born with all their knowledge.
Job interviews would begin with candidates standing in a circle while the boss goes: it, dib, dog, shit, now, you, are, it.
If your presentation isn’t going too well, there’s nothing wrong in unplugging your laptop and announcing that you’re going home and taking it with you.
In fact, when any meeting’s going badly, it’s acceptable to whip everyone’s notes from the table and throw them out of the window. Then storm out saying that you’re gonna tell your mum on them.
Dating would always begin with kiss chase, or, for the shyer people, a bit of hair pulling.
If you are a guy, you have to be constantly aware of what is going on around you lest one or more of your “friends” catches you off guard and makes a flying tackle at you from behind. Indian Burns and wedgies could be the result.
