Rob, I’m sorry for your loss and pain, but hopefully it comforts you some to know that she is at peace. When we chatted the other night, I wondered how it was going, but didn’t want to ask…if you just wanted to talk about normal things and forget your pain for a while, that was okay with me, but I wanted to give you the chance to say whatever you wanted to. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I’m so sorry, Rob.
I know how much you loved her, and how much she loved you back. You will always miss her, and even after time passes and you think you are kind of over it, someday a song will come on the radio, or someone will say something that reminds you of her, and you will cry. The pain really never goes away, but it changes into something you can live with. Eventually.
I love this song, written by Karla Bonaff. I hope it helps.
*Oh, We never know where life will take us.
We know it’s just a ride on the wheel.
And we never know when death will shake us.
And we wonder how it will feel.
So goodbye, my friend.
I know I’ll never see you again.
But the time together through the all the years,
Will take away these tears.
It’s okay now.
Goodbye, my friend.
I’ve seen a lot of things that made me crazy.
And I guess I held on to you.
You could have run away and left, well maybe.
But it wasn’t time and we both knew.
So goodbye, my friend.
I know I’ll never see you again.
But the love you gave me through all the years,
will take away my tears.
I’m okay now.
Goodbye, my friend.
A life so fragile, a love so pure,
We can’t hold on but we try.
We watch how quickly it disappears.
And we’ll never know why.
But I’m okay now.
Goodbye, my friend.
You can go now.
Goodbye, my friend.*
Much Love,
Cheri
Please email me if you want to talk. I have been there, and I care. scotticher@earthlink.net
I offer my condolences, again. She’s at peace now and her pain is over. Small solace, but hopefully enough.
My thoughts are with you.
{{{robgruver}}}
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please take care of yourself and your loved ones.
[[[[[Rob]]]]]
I can do no more than that.
{{{rob and family}}
Wow, Rob when I read this , it hit home. On March 27, 2001 at 1:00am , my grandmother went home . It was the hardest thing I will ever have to go though. I was her first born grandchild and we were really close. we talked on the phone several times a week. I can feel your pain , and know what you are going though. My grandmother also made the decision to stop kidney treatment only she went within a few hours. Please cherish the fact that you got to say goodbye. I wish I could of been able to say that to her. She lived in New York and went to fast for any of us grandkids to get there.
The hardest thing is for me to realize that I cant pick up the phone and hear her voice and for her to tell me that things will be fine , when I need her wise advice on something.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
wyleen
Oh, God bless you, Rob. I have been reading the SDMB a lot longer than I’ve been posting, and I can say with total honesty this is the first thing I’ve read here that made me cry actual tears. I feel for you, buddy. I lost a grandmother and a great-grandmother last summer and I’ll be fucked if it isn’t the most heart-wrenching thing. It hurts so bad to feel so helpless, to be unable to take the pain for them. I remember standing by both their bedsides, knowing how much I would hurt when they were gone and yet hoping to God that it would come to a swift, merciful end.
I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but if you want to talk just dash me an email. I’ll be thinking of you.
{{{Rob}}} My heartfelt sympathy for your loss, and the added pain of your aunt’s foolish actions. My grandmother died nine years ago, and I didn’t get to say goodbye right before, although I did get to hold her a couple of months before, as she was battling cancer. The night I received the news, I went out into the woods and howled and cried for hours. All these years later, I still ache missing her. I guess that’s the nature of a fine, true love.
Like your Grandmother, mine raised me and gave so many wonderful gifts; setting a fine example with her strength, kindness, curiosity, and great sense of humor. When the sharp pain of grief subsides, Rob, you’ll always be sustained by the gifts of love she gave you. A prayer to you both tonight: that her spirit is held in all light, and that you can feel the grace of that light and ease the pain of your separation.
Hi rob, I’ve been off the board for awhile so I just read of your Granny’s passing. I won’t say I know how you feel, because it’s physically impossible for me to know exactly what you, personally, are going through.
I lost my grandfather a few years ago and my wife died last January so I can understand the things that go through one’s mind at a time like this. Please know that my sympathy, prayers, and wishes for strength and peace are with you.
If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to let me know. If you’d like to talk or vent or rant or whatever, drop me a line at darigo@earthlink.net.
Again, I’m sorry for the loss you’ve suffered.
{{{{{{{rob}}}}}}}}
Zappo
My condolences Rob.
Try not to remember her at the end, but how she was. Those great things that made you love her so. Try to pass those ideas and actions on to your family and friends. Let her example be an inspiration for you. She will live on in your memory. She will live on in what you give the world of her ideas and feelings. I know that this sounds trite, but she has helped shape you. This contribution to the world is not insignificant. You are one of the good people. Through you she has made the world a better place. Hold on to that idea. It will help. I know, I’ve been there myself.
{{{{{{Rob and Family}}}}}}
My sincerest condolences, robgruver.
I want to thank everyone for thier thoughts and good wishes. Over the next week or so I will be writing my grandmother’s Speaking.
A Speaking (from Orson Scott Card’s book Speaker for the Dead*) is a history of a person who has gone. It is a true history that is not all pleasent. There will be stories, good and bad, about her that I will speak at her funeral which will be held in August.
I want to show to the world (on SDMB) and to her family and friends (at her funeral) that she was a real person, with real stories.
I want to also say that I have printed out all your well wishes and prayers to give to my family once the waters in Houston have receded (and I can acutally get ahold of my mom). Thanks again and keep a look out for her Speaking in a week or so.
Of course if I learned how to preview things would be all right in my world.