The proper response to “He’s…African-American?” would have been to look shocked and say “He’s WHAT?” … Oh, my God, you’re right, he is African American and I never realized it … Thank you telling me, this explains a lot."
Good Christ, NinjaChick, those girls are so ditzy, prejudiced and freakin’ annoying that it’s funny. I could imagine how unpleasant the encounter must have been for you, though. I do admire your self control, I was I would have given all of them five across the eyes.
Umm, eh? :dubious: That should read as I would have given…
Nice rant. As a former martial artist I deeply sympathize. I never attacked anyone at any point in high school, but goddamn was it tempting from time to time.
This does mean that I’d better give up that board crush though, huh? :eek:
If I were you, I would have said all that to the bitch’s face. Then again, a good rant is wasted on morons.
You can break a board pretty easily with your foot. Doing so with your hand requires a little more effort/knowledge. And I don’t break the notebook (breaking something floppy and not all one piece is not as easy as you might think;)). I induce temporary flight into it:D
And “punching a notebook” is perhaps a little understatement on my part. Properly warmed-up, I could probably get the thing to go … gosh, it’s been several months since I did it. Let’s say 25 feet because I don’t know for sure that I could reliably get it 50.
Without getting into how wonderful I am (ha), it’s a combination of a few things:
-
I’m damn serious when I set it up. And I look it.
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When I punch I can’t see my fist as anything more than a blur. Back when I used to practice what was later dubbed “machine-gun punch”, I got it to where I could punch roughly that hard/fast for about 30 seconds before my arms got tired. I’ve stopped doing that since (the notebook thing is far easier and it convinces people), plus there’s no real use for it. It’s going hard and fast.
-
As I said, I punch hard and the thing goes flying. I’ve had my brother put two couch cushions up against his chest/abdominal region and then I do the same punch into that and I’ve hurt him (not badly, just where he felt it as more than a gentle nudge on the general front of his body. IE he felt my fist). People who don’t know how to use their hips to punch are really missing out. I get at least half my power, maybe more, from there.
-
Technique. You’ve heard the expression “throw a punch”, right? Well, it isn’t supposed to look (at least not in TKD) like you’re throwing anything (unless, of course, you’re actually throwing something at the person, which is a move I certainly haven’t heard of). It’s supposed to be your fist, aimed at a target some 3-4 inches behind where your fist will end up, going almost all the way there (aim behind and you won’t end up shy of your goal. I aim about five inches behind the notebook). Your back shouldn’t move a whole lot, if much at all … at least not if you’re in horseback-riding stance, which is what I use. Hella power from that, and the biggest theoretical fault with it (you’re open to attack from back and front) is moot since I’m not being attacked when I punch the notebook.
I could probably do a few tornado kicks, but there isn’t enough room for that where I end up doing this stuff, for the most part. Plus I’m not as flexible as I used to be;)
Questions? Perhaps NinjaChick and I (and there are a good number of other dopers like-minded, IIRC) should open an IMHO thread discussing just how you “prove” your prowess at martial arts. I know I certainly don’t grab the nearest poor soul and beat the fuck outta him.
Fucker. That would be ME, not fizzy, who posted that. I forgot we switched browsers (she was tired of that thing in IE where if your post doesn’t go through and you go back, it’s gone.)
Somehow, though, I doubt she will mind adding 1 to her post count:)
What a friggin idiot. I give you credit for not beating the hell out of the bitch right then and there. I sure as hell would have.
**Jamie
OK, NinjaChick, if you really wanna clean Ms. Blonde’s clock, the way to do it is not to kick her ass, but to use her offensiveness against her.
It sounds like she has made disparaging comments about your sexual preferences and the race of your boyfriend. Bubbleheaded though they may be, it is likely that they offend your school’s sexual and racial harrassment policy.
If you revise your rant, taking out the ranty parts and putting in names, dates, and more details about her comments regarding your sexuality, it would probably make a lovely harrassment complaint. Obviously you have to review your school’s policy and procedures in detail, but the way these things often work, it would put her into a damn sticky investigation and have you treated sympathetically by the administration. It may even all be treated anonomously (though if she can’t figure out who complained, she’s even more thickheaded than you make her out to be).
The fun thing is that in the course of the investigation, she’ll likely say some breathtakingly stupid things about race and sexual matters that will just get her into it deeper and deeper. It’ll really be her own idiocy and wriggling on the hook that will screw her. All you have to do is start the ball rolling.
Good luck
Billdo (who may not be a Ninja, but we lawyers have our Ninja tricks as well).
P.S. I’d be careful with those smack yourself on the head smilies. It may leave a mark and Ms. Ditzy may think your boyfriend is beating you up some more.
I find it interesting that the OP specifically said the girls had dyed blonde hair. Oddly, some have taken this to mean that they are, in fact, blonde, coupled with the usual: bubbleheaded, ditzy, vapid…
I realize that you can judge someone’s intelligence and moral character by the colour of their hair (but not their skin!) but do keep in mind that the girls mentioned may be brunette or red-headed.
[Alice]Must… control… Fist… of… Death…[/Alice] 
iampunha, yeah I didn’t figure you actually broke the notebook, now that would be really impressive. Actually just about anybody can break a board with their fist. I use to do martial arts demos where we would take a random frail-looking young woman from the audience and explain the basics of how to make a fist, how to punch, using the hips, and aiming behind the board. In about three minutes she’d blast the thing in two.
If you’re in a horse stance aren’t you punching about groin level?
Oh the joys of tornado kicks… I imagine I would put myself in traction if I triend one now…
Let’s try it like this:
NinjaChick, in the long run you’ll be glad you didn’t lose control, even though this chick is not only brainless, but moral pond scum as well.
Personally, I second the notion of using Billdo’s legal Ninja tricks.
If I were you, she’d already be on the floor before she fnished that sentence.
Whilst I totally see where you are coming from and the girl in question doesn’t appear to come across as intelligent or understanding of race, sexuality and martial arts issues - from my reading of the OP, it comes across as a bit smug. Cut her some slack, she obviously has grown up in a very different world to you - try and educate her without getting angry.
Putting down others to make you feel good about yourself can be habit forming.
Depends on a few factors. I could go into detail about them, but let’s just say: it depends:D I usually end up punching the notebook right around where the ribs on a person begin.
Add to that:
- slick surface (no, I am NOT going to do them on the concrete outside)
- decently slick shoes
- it’s a lobby, not a dojo
- once you do one, they want you doing all sorts of other things.
I don’t tell people all the funky things I can do, so I don’t have to demonstrate 18 different kicks. “Hey, I saw Jackie Chan do this in a movie once, can you do it?” I might be able to, but do you know how many takes it took for him to get it right? If you want to give me Jackie Chan dollars, I’ll give it a shot, though:)
That’s a very astute observation, dipshit.
I’m guessing, no.
So, your boyfriend? He’s… not Jewish? :dubious: ;j :rolleyes:
[high-pitched, sort of whiny voice]
It would have worked, too - if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
[/high-pitched, sort of whiny voice]
Actually, after I destroyed the Kung-fu Robot who took over my computer, released the innocent daughter of Dr. Bonkoff, the genius whose invention Captain Evil had put to Sinister Purposes, from the bonds that held her over the flaming Pit of Doom (tearing away enough of her blouse in the process to reveal her supple bosoms heaving in mingled fear for my safety and admiration of my stalwart jaw), and used my patented Kung-fu Klaw of Death[sup]TM[/sup] to rip the heart from Captain Evil’s chest and show it to him, still beating, before he died, I experienced an epiphany.
“Wait!” said I. "Violence and hitting are always wrong! We should seek rather thru spiritual development and awareness to create a world where there is no need to jump thirty feet thru the air, kicking our enemies repeatedly in the groin, temples and spleen until they burst open like over-inflated balloon animals! I have wasted my life reaching black belt level in learning to kill with twenty-seven different weapons, including guitar pick, turkey baster, and the Ronco Cap Snaffler.
To issue the phrase, “Ha ha! Now you die!” is evidence that we have failed as evolved beings, and violated the cosmic harmony of All. I will therefore repair to a monastery, and seek a higher plane of consciousness thru the tearing of paper into really teeny bits. That, and nude, sumo Twister."
Accordingly, I would not recommend violence against the racist, bubble-gum-brained, blonde bimbettes. This would be wrong.
Especially would it be wrong to wish that they spend their summer vacation chained in the basement of a fetid, damp-smelling castle, serving as the love toys in the darkest fantasies of Newt Gingrich.
It would be equally wrong to hope fervently that they atone for their sins with the wearing of hair shirts knitted from Ted Kennedy’s thong bikinis.
And calls for their undergoing proctological examination by palsied eighty-year-olds with sandpaper specula are, in my view, misguided.
Instead, let us hope for their enlightenment. Rather than wishing that they be sodomized by rabid hippos, let us hope that come to know the joys of racial understanding. Rather than adding their names to the Al Sharpton for President Founder’s Club mailing list, let us seek to clear away their misunderstandings. Rather than hope they spend six weeks re-tiling Leona Helmsley’s third floor bathrooms with cut-up pieces of AOL version 8.0 CDs under the direction of Martha Stewart, let us hope they may come to value diversity.
Only then can we reach a world of peace, reconciliation, international harmony, and thinner thighs in thirty days or less.
And we can then move on to less vital issues, like asking NinjaChick for a cite proving she is really bisexual.
Preferably with pictures.
Regards,
Shodan
So, about this innocent daughter of Dr Bonkoff, whom had inscribed the Peace and Wisdom that became Shodan’s Way upon her heaving bosom…
She’s now Mrs Shodan, right?
I have to say, that was a pretty damn funny post. It took me three readings to get through it all.